I looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful, gorgeous, strong woman of the 50’s. i am a unique specimen with a heart of pure love. i keep imagining myself in civil war scenarios, brutally shot down by a random bullet, falling to the ground with blood all over me. I weep for trixie, the kind innocent and beautiful soul who just wanted to save animals, help people and make people happy. I see her fall as a random casualty of warfare, an innocent bystander as a total waste of life, dying in a random crossfire never to be even listed in the dead, her entire life a waste, never to be remembered, just a senseless body dead at the hands of the cruel joke of the universe.
i am in the twilight zone, where everyone is a bunch of ugly pigs, not one appreciates my beauty. they neither appreciate my inner beauty or my outer beauty, when i step outside i am called slurs, when i step inside i am called slurs. All they care about is money and materialism. But physically, what they lust for is old men, fat men, these homosexuals cannot appreciate the beauty of a transsexual and they would rather lust for old men and fat men. It is like a twilight zone episode where the most beautiful angel is left alone and cast out of heaven, for lusting after women.
this is a symptom of toxic masculinity and toxic feminity, Who in their right mind would rather me be a man, Wendy Darling would you look at a photograph of me as a woman, and really wish to change me into an ugly, homely man? Like a twilight zone where Pigs are celebrated as the true beauty? This is toxic masculinity but also toxic feminity, modern, workaholic women with no feminine side, infatuated with men only because they are infuatuated with masculinity, slaves but also victims, workaholics who work 3 jobs 20 hours a day, modern workaholic women who stonewall anyone who tries to melt their hearts. And this is the modern celebration of ugliness, while beauty is lost in the wayside, a common casualty of an unending war.
If only I could clone myself and marry myself, then truly someone would finally appreciate me. oh how beauty is lost in the concrete jungle of jackanapes.