Donald Trumpisms

Trump on tv

SCENE CHANGE
trump on tv

“How will you wipe out ISIS and win the war in the Middle East?”
Look, you give me an impossible problem, with an impossible solution. All the burdens of the
terrible, garbage presidents before me I have to solve. Then you blame me for all their problems
and expect me to magically solve everything. It doesn’t matter if it’s me or you,
you can’t expect to solve them easily. Even if if you have a 1000 IQ genius they couldn’t solve it.
And you expect me to. That isn’t fair. I’ll sleep on it and have a solution in 2 days. 2 days.
Time goes to the wise.

Media “How do you expect to win the war in the middle east?”

Trump
“It’s not an easy decision for me. I don’t feel easy with sending men to their deaths. Not even one
man. Makes me sick to my stomach. I’m not a sociopath like all other politicians. I’m not a sociopath.
I don’t want a war. I want to stop ISIS without losing one American soldier or even a Russian soldier.”

Trump says to Putin
“I have an idea for Putin. Withdraw your troops. I’ll withdraw my troops and you’ll withdraw yours. Ok? Do we have a deal?
Ok. Good, okay. Putin. Don’t fart up the room”

Putin “I will not withdraw my troops”

Trump Look, “I know you’re a sociopath. All politicians are. I’m not one of 'em.
You think you feel special, that you are unique, when you feel giddy sending your troops to their deaths?
That’s how all politicians are, youre not that unique. Politics equals sending troops to their deaths. That’s what politics is. So if you take the job, that’s what you enjoy doing.
They all feel giddy when they send troops to their deaths. That’s why they took the job in the first place.
All I want to do is to make America great again. That’s what I want. That’s the only reason I became a politician. Litterally the only reason.”

“Look, if I had it my way, there wouldn’t even be war. Instead we could pay other countries with hot lesbians so they didn’t war.
I’d much rather spend my time with a bunch of hot lesbians than a bunch of hot sweaty male soldiers. It’s just what it is.
And if I’m a bad guy for liking women, and you’re the good guy for killing people, then society is backwards.
Why do we praise the politicians that kill people, and shame our own sexuality, the only thing that keeps us alive?”

Media “That’s all well and good, that’s an interesting sentiment, but how will you wipe out ISIS?”

I will wipe out ISIS. You send a bunch of Delta Force 2 guys down there, there done. It’s over its done.

You ever play the Delta Force 2 game? It’s a great game.
“I’m a soldier of the armed forces. It’s not the same as a videogame. You ever been deployed. Have you ever been deployed?”
Look. You have a gun. It shoots bullets. How hard can it be? How different can it be?
You have a gun that shoots bullets. It shoots in a linear direction, a straight simple line.
You point, you shoot, you’re done. it’s that simple. It’s not rocket science folks, this is not Bernoulli’s equation or bernoulli’s principle.

Media “But Mr. Trump”

“Just shutup up. Shut. up. I know what you’re gonna say. The Lord said to sodom and gommorah, not one righteous man, not one. Well I am that righteous man, the one righteous man in all of sodom
and gommorah, Lot. Noone knows righteousness more than I do. Noone does righteousness better than I do. And I will turn ISIS into a pillar of salt. It’s that simple.”

then the opening credits begin