Ecmandu Marr - A professor majoring in mathematics and species dynamics. Dumped by his wife for a richer man, he is disgusted with conspicuous consumption and sexual stratification. He designs a mind reading device, markets it as an Ipod and gets rich from it. Little does the world know that embedded in the software is a mind programming device - Ecmandu plans to find all the rich people in the world by mind reading them, and then broadcast a kill command for them to commit suicide. Since the media refuses to believe Bond and cause a scandal (due to lack of evidence), Bond must disable the actual broadcast antennae before it’s too late.
Trixie Z - Half gypsy half german. Former hitman of Satyr. Before that, Trixie specialized in advanced weapon technologies. One day at her job she fell into a vat of chemicals, disrupting her biology and causing her skin to turn permanently bluish. After successfully suing her employer, she was fired. Using the money she saved she decided to hire a DNA expert, Phonetria, in order to carry out her plan to turn all the humans into clones of Trixie. Trixie anticipates Bond’s every move and uses gadgets comparable to Q’s in quality. Trixie is about to finish Bond and at the last moment Bond reveals to Trixie that Phonetria is plotting against her back. Realizing this, Trixie joins Bond’s side in order to stop Phonetria from turning everyone into spiders.
Satyr Former professor, he is exiled from campus by feminists after discovering some of his views. He returns to his homeland, Turkey, with his wealthy family. Disgusted with modern society, he summons an army of likeminded individuals who share some of his ideals. He hosts an elaborate dinner party at his manor with fancy tea, surrounded by his hitmen. He invites Bond to join his side, but Bond refuses and he sends him to the dungeon. His plan is to send a global EMP to disrupt the global economy and disable all forms of sheltering. Part of his plans require stealing some top secret Tesla plans from the CIA storage facility. He is defeated by Bond but some of his minions escape.
Lys - Satyr’s maiden who helps him make decisions and take care of his secret base.
The Arbiter - Hitman of Satyr. He oversees all duels with victims and makes sure people are fighting fair.
Magnus Anderson - Hitman of Satyr. Likes to use long drawn out psychological warfare on his victims in order to confuse them.
Erik von Prometheus - History buff and (amateur) greek scholar. Has disdain towards modern living, and wishes to nuke all of the major cities. His base is manufactured to resemble ancient greek monuments. His weapon of choice is a sword. In the final battle he challenges Bond to a sword fight, hands Bond a sword, and fights Bond to the death with it.
Diebert Von Reign - A man with a Nihilistic attitude and a disdain for the world. Using the leftover technology from Ecmandu’s mind reading device, he constructs a telepathy net, hooked up to everyone’s computer, which will disrupt any Ego activity and cause paralysis and the victim to become mute. He plan to have a world rid of ego and so his technology will only spare what he calls “the Enlightened”. He has a body guard, Kelly Jones, who is the woman in charge of his secret camp in Australia, which she runs very strictly, requiring everyone to have their ID tags on at all times. She is caught in a room putting a yogurt egg on her head, watching it melt all over her body. Bond tries to seduce her but cannot, because she views love as meaningless, and because she is a butch tomboy.
Note: This is not real and a joke.