Philosophical Jokes

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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Ierrellus » Thu Nov 15, 2012 3:45 pm

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Scholastics--God makes them do it.
Idealists--All the goodies are on the other side.
Existentialists--To come back and do it again forever.
Pragmatists--For some fowl reason.
Neitzscheans--It's chicken, all too chicken.
"We must love one another or die." W.H.Auden
I admit I'm an asshole. Now, can we get back to the conversation?
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby MagsJ » Tue Dec 11, 2012 2:08 pm

As seen on Tatler on Facebook today:
‎"A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love" - Friedrich Nietzsche
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby MagsJ » Sat Dec 22, 2012 11:07 pm

‎"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria."
~ Franklin (As in...Ben)
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby MagsJ » Mon Dec 31, 2012 3:40 am

A poetic one...

I just saw a chicken crossing the road. Poultry in motion..
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Orbie » Tue Jan 15, 2013 11:52 pm

volchok wrote:
jonquil wrote:How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on how you define 'change'.


Talking about psychological jokes:

(I am embarassed already)--two psychiatrists are analysing each other. The receptionist hears a clamour inside, and calls security, thinking a patient took off on the shrink. Security bursts in, and asks for an explanation as to what has happened: the psychiatrist sitting atop the other ones says: ". We were fighting over the couch, and I told him that's for freudians, and he is a jungian.




How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but the light bulb REALLY has to want to change.
[size=50][/size]Allone's Obe issance



In answer to your prayer
sincere, the centre of
your circle here,
i stand ; and , without
taking thought,-
i know nothing. But i can

Full well your need-as
you be men
This: Re-Creation. With a
bow,
Then, your obedient

servant now.
One gift is all i find in me,
And that is faithful
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Atthet » Sat Feb 02, 2013 1:54 am

I just thought of one:

While aiming a gun...
Chances are high you'll hit the sky,
Chances are low you'll hit the ground.
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby MagsJ » Sat Feb 09, 2013 11:42 am

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:lol:
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby MagsJ » Fri Feb 15, 2013 9:04 am

Pi and his wife at the marriage guidance counsellor...

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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby MagsJ » Sun Mar 10, 2013 11:04 am

:lol:

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Classic Science :)

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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Ierrellus » Sat Mar 23, 2013 3:50 pm

From "Laugh-In",mid 1960s
What drove Oscar wild?

Clair Booth was Luce; But Lautrec was Touloose. SIC (Sp.)
"We must love one another or die." W.H.Auden
I admit I'm an asshole. Now, can we get back to the conversation?
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Ierrellus » Sun Mar 24, 2013 2:59 pm

A real Pythagorian commandment is "Thou shalt not eat beans." Only one human orifice has the right to speak.
"We must love one another or die." W.H.Auden
I admit I'm an asshole. Now, can we get back to the conversation?
From the mad poet of McKinley Ave.
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Hobbes Choice » Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:05 pm

Here's a great graffito I saw in a 6thForm toilet in 1978.

To do is to Be.
Jean Paul Sartre

To Be is to Do,
Martin Heidegger.

To Be Do Be Do.
Francisco Sinatra.
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Hobbes Choice » Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:07 pm

Magsj wrote:Pi and his wife at the marriage guidance counsellor...

image.jpg


But he never quite reaches you position, four.
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Hobbes Choice » Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:10 pm



What is the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of ping-pong balls?





Answer next post.
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Hobbes Choice » Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:11 pm

You can't unload a truck load of ping-pong balls with a pitch fork!


Sorry not very philosophical, but an old standard.
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Ierrellus » Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:32 pm

Hobbes Choice wrote:Here's a great graffito I saw in a 6thForm toilet in 1978.

To do is to Be.
Jean Paul Sartre

To Be is to Do,
Martin Heidegger.

To Be Do Be Do.
Francisco Sinatra.

=D> Classic!
"We must love one another or die." W.H.Auden
I admit I'm an asshole. Now, can we get back to the conversation?
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Helandhighwater » Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:47 am

Man goes into a bar with a grin on his face, and ten pence. The barman says get out people like you are ten a penny.

First define man and bar. when you have defined the need for a man, and hence the worth of monetary compensation for your bar, or why he carries ten pence into a place that you have defined as existing under you contingency a bar. Then define the need for that particular question and why somehow the bar man has bizarrely come to the conclusion he does.

Define the need for jokes, given your conclusions and of course your ability to reason given that you have arbitrarily decided to define existence.

And why is the man happy?

Edit: for the d!
Last edited by Helandhighwater on Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Ierrellus » Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:39 pm

On a bathroom wall in a college town--
Be alert!
The world needs more lerts.
"We must love one another or die." W.H.Auden
I admit I'm an asshole. Now, can we get back to the conversation?
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Sloth on Wheels » Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:47 pm

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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby tentative » Sun Mar 31, 2013 10:56 am

That's so wrong! Even a dummy knows Pi are round, cake are square. :-"
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby MagsJ » Sun Mar 31, 2013 6:54 pm

:lol:

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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby MagsJ » Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:31 am

" ...there was little to choose between Jews and Catholics. The Jews had holidays that turned up out of the blue and the Catholics had children in much the same way."
~ Bennett


That made me chuckle :lol:
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Hobbes Choice » Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:45 am

Magsj wrote:
" ...there was little to choose between Jews and Catholics. The Jews had holidays that turned up out of the blue and the Catholics had children in much the same way."
~ Bennett


That made me chuckle :lol:


Would that Bennet, be Alan?
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby MagsJ » Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:18 am

Indeed it was he HC, but I got it off some pals' FB company page... they are incredibly creative and equally as mad.
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Re: Philosophical Jokes

Postby Hobbes Choice » Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:21 am

Magsj wrote:Indeed it was he HC, but I got it off some pals' FB company page... they are incredibly creative and equally as mad.


When you know its Alan you can't help but hear it in that soft, plaintive Northern accent, with a sense of the ironic in the tone.
Only then is it funny.

If you were to say it in , say, GW Bush's voice it would just come across as an obscene racist and confused remark.
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