WendyDarling wrote:That's not funny even though its true.
You're right, it's not funny, it's sarcism. And you're wrong, it's absolutely, positively, undeniably not true, we're not evil demons intent on destroying the world.
Wendy, I respect you too much to troll you--if I didn't, I'd hand you your ass on a platter for being a dumb retard with my stupid blue text--but I like you and I feel like cutting through all the bullshit right now, right here, in this thread.
You're not a happy, pleasant person. You're angry and resentful at almost everyone and everything. That despite the fact that you're a very
pleasant person--full of love and kindness. You're a walking paradox. You've got so much love in your heart, you can't hold it in. <-- I think this leads to you giving too much of yourself--to the point where you allow yourself to be exploited and taken advantage of by others, and that's when you become bitter, angry, and resentful.
I think you're caught within a dichotomy of extremes.
There's a very, down-to-Earth explanation of this: it's your amygdala:
You've got an over-active amygdala. While most of the time, you are rational, calm, and collected, there are certain things that set you off. Your amygdala starts firing and that elicits the "fight/flight" response--all the amygdala knows how to do is how to "fight" or how to "flee"--you either go on full-fledged attack or remain silent in your shell hoping not to get hurt--there is no middle ground for the amygdala.
The amygdala works in mutual exclusion with the frontal cortex:
(^ Look at that, it's in the front.)
The frontal cortex is responsible for reason and rational thinking. The amygdala, when active, shuts it off. That's why when we get emotional, we cease to think rationally.
So when we get into these emotional states, we go to ridiculous lengths to argue our points in very militant and aggressive ways (the fight response)--to the point where we cease to be rational--either that or we just STFU so as not to get hurt in any way (the flight response).
I know this from personal experience and experience with my son. My son is currently seeing a child psychologist for anger management skills (he's kind of a problem child). The psychologist explained to me and my ex that it's his amygdala which is the culprit. This theory about the amygdala not only explains my son's behavior and emotional/thinking patterns, but has shed a ton of light on my own psychology. I see this pattern in myself a whole lot. It's that situation in which you feel like you have to stand up for yourself, but you're nervous as hell to do so. It reminds me of years ago when I felt like I had to negotiate a raise with my employer--I was so worried that it would result in a confrontation that I was visibly nervous in the meeting--voice trembling, hands shaking, etc.--so much that even though I was prepared to argue my point--reasonably, rationally--all that left my mind, and though I tried to grasp at everything I had rehearsed, all I could come up with were stammers and stuttering. I mean, it wasn't a complete mess, but I wasn't nearly as charismatic or persuasive as I could have been--all because I expected it to be confrontational--which stimulated my amygdala which told me: either fight
for your case or just call off the meeting entirely.
^ It's an absolutely terrible strategy unless you mean to literally kill
If I could have been more calm and collected--taking the attitude that this was just going to be a friendly, civilized conversation between adults who both want what's best for each party--I'm sure our frontal lobes could have easily reasoned out an arrangement that not only made rational sense but brought us to a conclusion that would have been both unexpected (due to the creativity of the frontal lobe) and beneficial (due to the creativity of the frontal lobe). But that requires assuming from the outset that this isn't going to be a confrontation (I know, it's easier said than done).
In any case, the therapy has (so far) worked wonders for my son. Not only that, but it's worked wonders for me (just in virtue of understand this about how my brain works).
What I want to suggest, Wendy, my dear friend Wendy, is that you don't have to be constantly fighting (the fight response)--and that doesn't mean constantly submitting either (the flight response)--there is an middle ground that happens to be completely outside the flight/fight dichotomy--just a calm, civilized conversation between friends where we can actually be (surprise, surprise) reasonable. I know you feel very strongly about your convictions, but you don't have to take the approach that everyone's the enemy, that you have to fight
everyone in order to make yourself heard. It requires a bit of trust, but I'm confident you will find that at least some people (at least myself) will reciprocate that trust and attempt to be reasonable/civilized in return.
I dunno, it's up to you. You just seem a girl who's so full of love (and I think you've proven that in the way you've calmed Joker) but is sometimes frustrated by the way the world won't listen. The problem is that this frustration sets you into a frenzy that stimulates your amygdala, which is a part of the brain evolved for war, and I think you have so much more potential than that. I think all your convictions can be satisfied with a bit of trust (again, easier said that done, I realize), but I hope this bit of insight (which I say again is based on stuff I learnt from a psychologist trying to help my son) can help to bring you out of your state of conflict. I hope. Idunno. You think?