Panny's Kryptonite

I never even owned one. 8-[

I don’t even know what that is.

It is a sexual torture device I think.

Where can I order one?

You send me $500 worth in Amazon gift card codes, give me your address, I make sure you’ll have what is in the picture.

That’s a lot of codes. I would have to do nearly 100 surveys to get that. Plus I always have stuff on my wish list and I wait until the gift codes add up and just buy the next thing.

I got $6 from surveys.

I took a call from a telemarketer when I was working in a restaurant in college back in the day and gave them my email address and said I was the manager and they have been sending me surveys about foodservice distributors ever since. 10-15-25 bucks each, and I can do them in like 5 minutes on my phone. Sometimes a few weeks no surveys, but then sometimes 4 or 5 in a week. Total lucky break. datassential research or something like that. You’re a smart dude, you could probably call them, think of a hypothetical restaurant then tell them that you run it and that someone you know is on a panel and is getting amazon cards to do surveys and you can do those too and you want the gift cards.

Like play dumb but be smart. Trick them into thinking you run a restaurant, and then fill out the surveys while you take shits and collect a bunch of amazon cards.

Prove it buy sending me $100 Amazon.com gift card. I won’t believe you otherwise.

I told the telemarketer, “how do I know you’re really gonna give me the gift card?”

She said, “Look, if you fill out a survey about your preferences in ketchup bottles, and you don’t get the gift card, then HA! we beat you. But, if you do get it, then you get another survey and you get that one, then you’d have the gift cards.”

I mean so just do it or don’t. If you’ve got the balls to call up a company that does surveys for us foods and sysco and pfg and gordons and all those companies and convince them you run a restaurant and get them to pay you to take surveys while you take shits then you should do it. You’ve got nothing to lose if they tell you no.

I lack the balls. Snagged on a tree branch, bled out. Doctors had to operate.

That explains a lot.