You know, I might have argued against that once upon a time, but the sad truth is that some were born evil, heartless, twisted and have no true purpose to their existence. They never asked to exist, either, just happened to be born or come into existence the way they were or are. I have come to know them, though. Not cold in the sense of cold or heartless entirely, just seeing far too clearly and suffered far too much and have moved beyond typical emotional responses as prescribed by society and painted by our artists in our culture. They have a very strict no bullshit policy and have no qualms in fucking over good people.
In the past two years, I’ve moved to a state of being where I seem cold or emotionless. Something you and others may have noticed in your ‘attacks’ against me. I could easily not give a shit, but have put hard work into it in my existence and preceding my entrance into my current state of being where I’ve toed a hard line both for my self and others.
I don’t take it personally if you and others dont feel guilt for your actions or shame or if your conscience doesn’t trouble you about your actions. People would think such cold and heartless beings to be shut off or turned off their emotions. Even the beings and entities themselves may come to believe that until something makes them feel things they never thought they would feel again, remind them that they still fall into psychologically sound responsea in terms of emotions.
There’s a point of crying so much when the tears stop, of being angry so much that nobody can make your rage, of being betrayed so much even in little things where you just don’t value friendship and remain aloof, and I went through that process in agonizing slow motion in comparison to some things that got pushed through fast in their lives or never suffered to the same degree the things I did for whatever reason.
But, if you don’t cry at the death of a friend or family member, people hate you. If you don’t react in societally accepted trends of behavior, they don’t like you. If you don’t let people live in their own little bubble of ignorance and don’t show remorse for hurting them with truth, so many things start moving to destroy you to protect the little shits. If you don’t show emotion on demand in some psychologically accepted pattern, things flip out and react really irrationally. And, it becomes psychology beyond what so many things wanted to accept as truth. Emotion beyond emotion. Not having to react the same, not needing to.
Those cold and heartless things are that for a good reason. Actual morality and goodness and righteousness and reason have been lost for too long, used in faulty manner for the shallow ‘passions’ of others, the vibrancy of what they ascribe to be the only true emotions. Love isn’t love without the strong passion that burns out quickly due to the body pumping out chemicals in excess. People don’t know love anymore while numb or when the passion burns out.
All of society is reduced to child-state emotional responses where they know nothing of the long term of their own short existences and claim to understand the long term of eternity. So much misinformation and unintentional deceit and faulty, well-intentioned promises…
The hard part is seeing them through the emotional storm without them trying to revert to ignorance that was never truly bliss as they try to control too much what was never in their control and live in faulty safety bubbles where their dummy switches are mislabeled.
Even evil is a child state of existence along with the accepted format of good. The bible itself is child format knowledge. Beyond which is a dysfunctional spiritual family rife with war and tension and trying to remember the good days before the divisions. Have we been living backwards, in reverse, as we regress back from adulthood in consciousness to child’s tate, or is it simply that things were out of order, were stacked differently in some and we’re the ultimate form of that simple grid experiment of the back and forth thingies that are out of sync with each other and eventually get back in sync?
All reading from the same complex book of life as we live, just different chapters, different pages, different perceptions and information given due to perception.
Too many different reasons for it all to accurately chart psychologically, too much to ever write down and all of our most advanced English and theories begin to look like crayon drawings on the wall of existence, mere fundamental basics for children to learn and for the most advanced beings and entities to relearn and humble themselves in sight of us lowly, ignorant humans; worms.
They stopped trying to write it all down, to chart it. Too complex, too much to teach, too much to expect any entity to learn, them still needing experience hands on and needing air to breathe, room to move and live their own lives, make their own judgment calls without being told right from wrong, having to learn it for themselves or risk taking on blind faith information that could be faulty.
And the brutal simplicity of the complexity is that our crayon drawings are still just as advanced, still pertinent for every walk of life, every being no matter how advanced. Our simple rudimentary basics apply to everything and all complexities are learning how they apply. So easy, even a caveman could do it with rocks in his head, refusing to believe any lie, refusing faulty reasoning and simply hitting things a couple times til they work right.
That is the idiocy and genius of humanity and of all other things. And all false reasoning inveighs that we can be ‘perfect’ all the time. Which, of course, we are, but without understanding, without reason, at times. Paradoxical.
There is always fighting, even in peace. A master chef in a kitchen performs the same military tactics without even thinking in those terms as a master warrior. An architect commands and gives orders like a trained wartime leader. The strokes of a painters brush on canvas, attacks or seduction, love being another fight all its own.
My words, every single one of them, comparable to every act of war and peace.
This is what I see, how I see; the art of art, the artistry of life, existence, creation. I see the ties that bind beyond the divisions, the similarities in the differences. And, because I see these things as such, bridge gaps by being a bridge myself, an ultimate middle man of existence for all walks of life, I’m supposedly better than everything else.
That’s my cross. No pity needed, sympathy unwanted, all tears done being cried, all anger diminished, my existence accepted fully by my self, my load carried on my own. My fate and my destiny intertwining with my free will to do great and terrible things, culminating in the greatest tragedy/success depending on who views it, how they view it, etcetera.
And, you cared to dance for a bit. Not the dance partner I truly wanted. I had a romantic dance in mind for my life and existence and a partner that I still hope and intend to dance with for a much longer period of time than just this one life, a slow dance that I offered to one woman only. If you can not make even one other person feel as though their the most special thing in existence out of all others, you dont understand enough about love or life or god or anything worth knowing.
Hence, the objective truth is subjective, there is always bias and favoritism and equality intended that isn’t often seen or mastered. Many lovers in our eternal existences, only one true love, soul mate each.
God bless the cold and heartless seeming. They have purpose after all. To make us appreciate more the things all too easily lost, to overcome, in their own way, so that they can experience as others do, for the first time, if not again. And they make me the rock they break themselves against to feel raw again, to feel everything more.
It’s hard to love everything, even harder to stop doing so once you get far enough into it. And hate is still just love. I’ll prove it to anything if they care to challenge that simple ruling. They made me, I made them, we made each other, all of creation and the dance continues on after we’re dead and gone. Simple, no?
