ILP Supperclub...

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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby MagsJ » Mon Jan 09, 2017 10:39 pm

Turd Ferguson wrote:I gotta say, Magsj, it is certainly a very good thing you and I aren't a thing, cause I wouldn't last.

Seriously, you serve me uncooked squid one night, then pumpkin and ear soup.... with the pumkkin still fully intact.....

Shit, honestly. I would just start crying and deeply question what I got myself into. Wondering if it should be a noose, or headfirst off the roof. No way I'm putting up with that for the rest of my days.
You mock my pricey organic offerings.. how very dare you. [-(

Maybe I can go into hiding in Hondoras, just convince the locals I'm a escaped criminal or some shit and run a automotive shop, and get a bunch of face tattoos. But then, twenty years later, I might pull out from under a car, to look up, seeing you standing there, with some Possum Head Alfredo. I'd have to blow my brains out on the spot. Just can't go through with it, no escape. No escape.
lol

That would all make for a very good film you know.. riveting viewing indeed.. there's always takeout you know. A marriage or life shouldn't have to end for differences in taste of cuisine :confusion-shrug: it doesn't have to end this way. :cry:
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby MagsJ » Mon Jan 09, 2017 10:47 pm

Turd Ferguson wrote:How do you even eat it? Is it soft enough to bite into?
Yes.

It's wonders what roasting a squash can do for its edibility ;) lol
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby The Golden Turd » Mon Jan 09, 2017 10:58 pm

It so would make a decent short movie. It would just be me sitting on a bench in the park each day, watching the sun go down, sighing with a frown on my face, homeless people walking up to me and offering me a dollar cause I look so terrible. A priest approaching me, thinking I'm a depressed drug addict living on the bench he always sees me on, asking what kind of drugs am I on that ruined my life.... I would answer "Boards, Magsj is cooking again tonight, she insists on cooking every night, so I say I gotta work late, but I don't, so I just sit here, and try to wait till she falls asleep, then dump her foul shit she cooked for me down the drain. I'm skin and bones, I feel I'm dying, I can't go on, I think she deep fried the neighbor's kid pet Guinea Pig. Still had a head on, it looked pissed."

Priest slaps his hands on his knees, stands up, does his cross, and says "Damn, ummm.... go in peace my son, and may God be with you. "

I then begin to sob, no longer seeing God behind every increasingly blurred sunset, the image of which is warped by my tears. Life no longer has no meaning, only horrible cooking, and the inevitability of a lonesome death, as Marcus Gavius Apicius understood.

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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby WendyDarling » Tue Jan 10, 2017 4:06 am

:sad-roulette: Why? Why? Why? :sad-teareye:
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby WendyDarling » Tue Jan 10, 2017 4:12 am

Mags,

Ever served up any spaghetti squash?

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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby MagsJ » Tue Jan 10, 2017 9:52 am

Turd Ferguson wrote:It so would make a decent short movie. It would just be me sitting on a bench in the park each day, watching the sun go down, sighing with a frown on my face, homeless people walking up to me and offering me a dollar cause I look so terrible. A priest approaching me, thinking I'm a depressed drug addict living on the bench he always sees me on, asking what kind of drugs am I on that ruined my life.... I would answer "Boards, Magsj is cooking again tonight, she insists on cooking every night, so I say I gotta work late, but I don't, so I just sit here, and try to wait till she falls asleep, then dump her foul shit she cooked for me down the drain. I'm skin and bones, I feel I'm dying, I can't go on, I think she deep fried the neighbor's kid pet Guinea Pig. Still had a head on, it looked pissed."

Priest slaps his hands on his knees, stands up, does his cross, and says "Damn, ummm.... go in peace my son, and may God be with you. "

I then begin to sob, no longer seeing God behind every increasingly blurred sunset, the image of which is warped by my tears. Life no longer has no meaning, only horrible cooking, and the inevitability of a lonesome death, as Marcus Gavius Apicius understood.

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I cooked squid and it leads to all this? Trop dramatique!

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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby WendyDarling » Tue Jan 10, 2017 9:55 am

He's accusing you of assaulting his tastebuds with raw squid. He's a poor reader and speller. RIP TF
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby MagsJ » Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:29 am

Maniacal Mongoose wrote:Mags,

Ever served up any spaghetti squash?
I searched online a few years back intending to buy some, but the stuff is so popular, stock of it was all brought up. I bought some seeds to grow my own, but they still sit there years later.. this year, this year, this will be the year that I finally grow some.

Maniacal Mongoose wrote:He's accusing you of assaulting his tastebuds with raw squid. He's a poor reader and speller. RIP TF
That squid was cooked to perfection.. neither over nor under cooked, which is an awful culinary faux pas to commit and one of many that my fishmonger and I and any customer hanging out at the stall regularly discuss and shake our heads at in disgusted culinary snobbery.

Grilled squid has colour, poached does not.. Turd is just being facetious, as always. He should be confined to an eternal diet of raw squid and poo poo mutton.. de-lish :P
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby WendyDarling » Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:37 am

I could tell it was to perfection. My mom makes a great sweet spaghetti squash dish, but there's a bunch of ways to go with it. For him, a pu pu platter sounds appropriate.
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby MagsJ » Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:56 am

Maniacal Mongoose wrote:I could tell it was to perfection. My mom makes a great sweet spaghetti squash dish, but there's a bunch of ways to go with it.
Sounds like I need to start propagating them seeds and trying some
dishes.. I hope they take, as I'm not good at growing plants from seed.

Turd takes pleasure from spoiling my papped offerings by trolling them.. it's the only pleasure he gets ;)

An eternal nightmare of raw squid and poo poo mutton for him.. should be written into the marriage contract.
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby WendyDarling » Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:59 am

I've always wanted to preside over a traditional ceremony with Turd in virgin white, chained atop to a Greek cliff, an offering to the Kraken. It'd be a short marriage Mags. :lol: :lol: :lol: Turd being supper would fit right into your supper club! 8)

Actually he'd be easy to cook for, anything burnt with lard and salt would have him drooling.
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby WendyDarling » Tue Jan 10, 2017 11:06 am

You have the room in your garden, they're fairly large and probably will really spread out? Leave a few feet between seeds and put several seeds into each hole.
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby MagsJ » Tue Jan 10, 2017 11:48 am

Maniacal Mongoose wrote:I've always wanted to preside over a traditional ceremony with Turd in virgin white, chained atop to a Greek cliff, an offering to the Kraken. It'd be a short marriage Mags. :lol: :lol: :lol: Turd being supper would fit right into your supper club! 8)

Actually he'd be easy to cook for, anything burnt with lard and salt would have him drooling.
Lol. I'm trying not to picture any of that. :|

You have the room in your garden, they're fairly large and probably will really spread out? Leave a few feet between seeds and put several seeds into each hole.
Wish me luck. [-o<
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby The Golden Turd » Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:07 pm

Remember, you gotta poo on the seeds for it to be considered organic.
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby MagsJ » Thu Jan 12, 2017 1:46 am

A couple of potatoes and carrots and some gravy from yesterday's mutton hotpot, and some home-made red wine.. then bed soon.
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby MagsJ » Fri Jan 13, 2017 12:48 am

Got a fresh crab on the way home from a London forum for prospective MPs, and then this happened with it when I got in... it snowed on the way there, and more snow forecast tomorrow.

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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby The Golden Turd » Sat Jan 14, 2017 3:06 am

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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby MagsJ » Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:08 am

Turd Ferguson wrote:Image

What is that? I can see rice, but is that lamb shish, or something else? Looks edible at least :)
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby The Golden Turd » Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:13 am

Gyro, at my town's new Greek Restaurant. They just expanded their restaurant, tried to make it fancy ass in a larger,upscale location. I just wanted a Lamb kebob, but they took it off the menu.

http://www.theoyiannis.com/ty/Welcome.html

Old restaurant, before they moved. It is one of those retarded places that would absolutely amaze Smears. Me, I just want my damn Lamb Kebob. Only time I've been amazed by a restaurant was in Coronado, in San Diego, I landed my kayak to look for water in a residential area, came across a Greek restaurant, was amazed. So were they, they never had someone paddle up to eat before.
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby MagsJ » Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:21 am

Supper... fresh crab, with home-made garlic mayo, served in iceberg lettuce cups... these went down too well. :)

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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby The Golden Turd » Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:32 am

Quit eating iceberg lettuce. It has absolutely no nutritional value. Go buy real vegetables.
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby MagsJ » Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:42 am

Turd Ferguson wrote:Quit eating iceberg lettuce. It has absolutely no nutritional value. Go buy real vegetables.

It is merely a host for my offerings. You have no idea how good that tasted.. just crab and aolio.. delicious... The leaves are merely a carrier for my intended meal, and my body doesn't require much more beyond what you see me eat.. too much and my body slows down, so I gotta go with my flow/what my body dictates I need.

I fell asleep after that, and only God knows what the cat was up to during the last few hours while I slept.. caught him attempting to munch on an electric cable yesterday, so gotta monitor his movements more, or he may end up frying himself. :|
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby MagsJ » Sun Jan 22, 2017 3:59 am

A late 3am supper of slow-cooked mutton leg and steamed baby potatoes.. organically sourced.
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby MagsJ » Tue Jan 24, 2017 12:35 am

A lettuce and tomato salad, and a spicy chicken drumstick left over from dinner earlier.
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Re: ILP Supperclub...

Postby The Golden Turd » Tue Jan 24, 2017 10:21 am

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