Ask a pirate anything.

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Ask a pirate anything.

Postby Helandhighwater » Fri Jan 03, 2014 5:19 pm

Well I was going to post this in Creative Writing bus seems I am banned from every area except rant and off topic, for daring to question James psuedo-Science or somit.

So I'll put it here I started an ask a Pirate thread on another forum and got carried away writing a story here it is:

Calrid wrote:Well 'tis the season to be silly so ask me anything and I'll try my best to answer it in a way a Pirate would.

So anyway I was just out of Kingston when a squal hit the ship waves as high as a mountain, rogue and deadly like Poseidon himself is angry, when off larboard bow Bill Worthington spots a 60 gun frigate bristling wiht Englands finest Brass and all gleaming as if the sun was shining out, of her, so I says to the boys top sails, gallants, every scrap of duck on the wing!

And in we goes, now recently I has added a little up grade to me heavy shot so that I can fire two rounds per shot, in quick succession. Sort of like with me extra guns, so I lays in wait with me men staring down the Mortars at the prize. Suddenly the guns roar and off the stern there appears reinforcements, we're all fit to be splinters when I decides with the wind against us we have nothing to lose, the square rigger is coming in like an angel of death so I sets the mortars around and fires off a quick salvo as luck would have it a second rogue wave hits that very second and up she goes, right into the shot making the damage even heavier, "lord pe praised boys she's lost several of he guns lets have at them." Shouts me quarter master Leroy Jenkins. So I turns into the wind and prepares to fire off a few salvos and board her.

The frigate sailing hard off the stern now, seems to be stuck in treacle like us so she strikes sails and lets off a few pinnaces off her decks to come at us wolf pack style. I am ready for the cheeky blighters though and as luck would happen who do I spy on the Horizon but Blackbeard himself straight down from Tortuga and Nassau looking for some easy prize.

Bill Teach, or Thatch as he likes to be known, his guns almost as numerous as the Man o' Wars on half the planks. he's heard me guns roar and is coming on a pace with the wind to the perpendicular his sails billowing like ducks on the wing, and decided to even the odds, so I fires off a few broadsides and braces meself for the ram to hit, and we take out most of her Fo'c'sle as luck has it she's turned slightly by the wind on her tack and the current and we slide past like an apple out of a barrel on a solstice night. Fire! 40 guns to the mid ships takes out most of the rest of her guns and she can't return fire, lads perpare to board larboard sails down, strike the ducks, main sails only. I shout and leap to the mast ready to swing in on me rope and belay the scurvy limey sea dogs, with me Welsh steel... I spy out of me eye Blackbeard making to board the frigate now and without further ado am on the decks striking the blaggards as if I am death come himself. So they's a tough bunch but not prepared for the fight, and we outnumber them 2 to 1, it's a short fight and the Captain strikes his colours before I can climb the mast to do the same.

10238 Reals, she's a treasure ship and no mistake, nigh on a hundred tonnes of silk, and more art and baublles than the ruddy king himself.

It appears the frigate is as well manned as the galleon and more, damn it a support ship and Pirate hunters so I puts me swords away and cuts off the prize leaving her to sink before we can be dragged down with her, bootyt safely stored away.

Come on lads let's give old Bill a hand!

"Like he's heard me I can just make him out now his beards a flame with gunpowder and tamping cotton, and he's roaring and firing two pistols like the Devil himself. "Come on me trumps shouts the Quartermaster lets away and heave up sail, we has a frigate to take too!"

-- Updated January 2nd, 2014, 2:56 pm to add the following --

Avast ye land lubbers and heave to. More epic tales from the Captains sea chest later when I have more time. :D


So anyway when I land ipon the decks of the frigate Teach hails me and having just dispatched the enemies captain and run up the pirate colours invites me to his new ships cabin to parley about the shares since both of us attacked then it only being fair that it is halved. I disagrees but I am feeling magnanimous and since Blackbeard is pretty much a nutter, I decides to be cautious, it can't hurt hearing the lepreous old scruvey plunderer out any how.

So he says I am gonna take half of all the loot on your galleon and you are going to help yourself to half of what's on the Frigate, so I agrees after a few swigs of rum, not wanting to face those hand cannons he has strapped to him at all times. As it turns out he should of just taken the Frigate as it's packed to the rafters with more spanish silver and Gold than the Galleon, and also has enough rum to kill a horse. So we parts on good terms and the men take their shares and we are bound for Tortuga, following in Bills wake as he lumbers up the coast in his top heavy brigantine.

-- Updated January 3rd, 2014, 11:13 am to add the following --

That was the last I ever saw of Blackbeard, heard he holed up in Tortuga ploaced down a barrel of his plunder and invited any who walked past to drink and then shot those who refused, the English put a bounty on his head he went to lay low off of the West Caost of Africa, I heard that he was killed trying to take out an English frigate dispatched to deal with him. Some say he's still alive and some says if you look to the horizon noghts you can still hear him shouting hell for leather, sailing a ghost ship to the Antilles and back up the Poruguese ports of Brazil.

-- Updated January 3rd, 2014, 11:15 am to add the following --

On the other hand some say anything when they are full o' grog and some howl at the moon so I suspect he's dead and buried, and down in hell where he always said he'd feel right at home, being The Devil and all! :D


And you can ask me anything too if you like. :P
"smoke me a kipper Skipper I'll be back for Breakfast."

Arnold Judas RImmer V2.0. AKA Ace.

"
Helandhighwater wrote:Feel free to tell me what happened today to your sphincter, and at length, I am very interested in your ass. Pun intended. :evil:

"
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