## 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

This is the place to shave off that long white beard and stop being philosophical; a forum for members to just talk like normal human beings.

Moderator: MagsJ

### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

First Product of mulling:

I realized that I have a heuristic. If it takes a toll on the body, the justification for it bears the onus.

If something leaves me in pain, hungover, weak, fuzzy headed, with a recovey period, cranky, dulled, etc. That is with body-based negative aftereffects, my using/doing it bears the onus. The default is not to use/do such things. Not just thinking of drugs here.

In a sense I take the body as an authority. I can go against that authority in ways that seem justified, but the justifications for doing that bear the onus.

And this would only be much more true when it had to do with drugs that are Medical level intervention strength (and even more so if they are artificial).

What I am responding to here is the idea that the default should be drug use, unless it is demonstrated with great certainty otherwise. As if we were in a vaccuum just dealing with ideas, all ideas starting out the same. Anything can be the default position and then anyone disagreeing bears the onus.

And just to be clear, when I say it is a heuristic that I treat the body as an authority, I do not mean that I never go against what that authority seems to say. I just notice that I want justification for it. It is not a neutral philosophical position for me, to use an extreme example, whether I should leave my hand on the burning stove or take it off. I do not weigh various arguments for and against equally. The default is to not burn my hand and keep on increasing my pain.

Other situations can be more complicated, of course. Sports, running, have painful aftereffects. For me, in general, even in the day after soreness and ’tireness’ the overall feeling is actually good. I have a global good feeling the next day. And if I don’t then something was wrong the day before. (there are also longer term feelings of well being that can get weighed in, though for me,on the sports example, I do not even need to add these in given the short term global good feeling ((which is added on to the fun/social aspects of the participation)))

To me there must be judgments about reality – and you have put forward quite a few – that lead to making medical level (short term) interventions in your own brain chemistry, mainly to have fun. And I see Little solid justification for these judgments. It seems to me that position bears the onus regardless of what other people say or believe or how well they argue their positions. You recently mentioned a chemical I had never even heard of. I can only assume it is something new that someone has made ina lab somewhere. IOW something with minimal general knowledge about the effects of it, short term and long term. This would seem to require even more justification, even if everyone in your society believed it was good to take the drug.

Obviously I hold this default position in relation to mainstream accepted drugs: coffee, Xanax whatever.

IOW all this takes Place - the onus stuff - Before you even get into a discussion with Moreno.

Moreno
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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

Moreno wrote:I realized that I have a heuristic. If it takes a toll on the body, the justification for it bears the onus.

Makes sense to me.

Moreno wrote:What I am responding to here is the idea that the default should be drug use...

I'm not arguing that it should be.

Moreno wrote:To me there must be judgments about reality – and you have put forward quite a few – that lead to making medical level (short term) interventions in your own brain chemistry, mainly to have fun.

Just to be clear, that is not my justification for my drug use--it's an explanation for what drives me--the desire to have fun--it's more a cause/force than a justification. The closest I came to justifying drug use on the basis of fun was to say that sometimes, under certain circumstances, it's OK to have a little fun with drugs.

Moreno wrote:You recently mentioned a chemical I had never even heard of. I can only assume it is something new that someone has made ina lab somewhere.

You mean, 2C-D? It's been around since the 70s and, yes, made in a lab (or the equivalent). It's like a mild form of LSD. There's actually a whole line of them. I currently have 2C-C, 2C-D, 2C-E, 2C-I, 2C-T2, and 2C-T7.

Moreno wrote:IOW something with minimal general knowledge about the effects of it, short term and long term. This would seem to require even more justification, even if everyone in your society believed it was good to take the drug.

I know. I take risks that not even I can honestly justify to myself.

Moreno wrote:IOW all this takes Place - the onus stuff - Before you even get into a discussion with Moreno.

Yeah, I've gathered that. Do understand though that not all of this is me trying to justify drug use--it's mainly me trying to explain myself and describe what it's like being the drug user I am. On top of that, there is some philosophical debating going on, but there I'm trying to generalize: I'm trying to think through the implications of drugs, drug use, and drug users without bringing myself into the picture. Can one use drugs for reasons other than trying to fill a void in their lives, for example--I think I'm too close to this to say with any certainly whether I'm trying to fill a void or not, but when I think about this question in principle, I don't see a reason why not.
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It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

I had an idea: I'm going to let others here decide what the next combination is going to be. I'm going to do another stint after the office Christmas party. The first two stints I did were total abstinence. The last one was no caffeine only (alcohol and other drugs were allowed). What's the next combination? No alcohol, but caffeine and other drugs are OK? No caffeine, no alcohol, but other drugs are OK? What?

If nobody speaks up and a decision can't be made for whatever reason, I'll just decide myself, but I think it might be fun to allow others to add their two cents and help me build this.
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

Caffeine and alcohol, no drugs - what will your consumption of them be like without the drugs

MagsJ
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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

MagsJ wrote:Caffeine and alcohol, no drugs

Then it's settled.

MagsJ wrote:what will your consumption of them be like without the drugs

Probably the same.
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

So today is the staff Christmas party. I'm already drinking my first coffee of the day, will be getting drunk this evening, and most likely stoned when I get home tonight.

Then tomorrow it will be complete sobriety... from pot. The drinking and caffeine consumption will continue as per Mags' recommendation. Will be doing this until Feb. 11. The 12th will be a Friday, so it's a perfect day to drink, get caffeinated, and stoned. Hopefully, I'll have a new music mix by then.

But honestly, I'm not expecting much from this round. I don't expect to feel much different. The caffeine and the alcohol are what's really killing me. The pot not so much (I don't think). If anything, it might increase my levels of paranoia but that tends to stick with me whether I smoke weed regularly or not. Other than that, I'll probably get a lot more work done.

But who knows. I may be surprised.
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

It's been about 2 weeks now and so far so good.

My mood? I'm on the upswing. Good stuff. Is it because of the lack of cannabis? Who knows. I know that I've been doing a pretty good job at work, accomplishing a lot of tasks in a timely manner, and that makes me feel good. Am I doing a better job because of fewer drugs in my system. I really don't know.

I haven't really had any strong cravings. In fact, I've been having stronger cravings for cigarettes than for pot. And btw, that's another thing:

I also decided to quit smoking... cold turkey... forever.

That's another story that's long. I've always been an occasional smoker. Would smoke with friends and on social outings and stuff. Ever since my wife and I separated however, I've been living on my own and there has been nothing stopping me from buying a pack. I'd usually buy the single cigars but ever since they banned them (the reasoning behind this law is outrageously stupid and I won't get into it) I caved in and bought a pack. My first time.

So I promised myself one smoke from the pack a week. That lasted for maybe two weeks and then it became two per week, then three. Pretty soon I was smoking one a day, sometimes two. I decided to play on my own psychology like I usually do. I kept the pack in the glove compartment of my Durrango down in the garage. I figured if it was harder to get, I'd smoke them less. This worked for a bit, but eventually I just started caving in and going down to get one.

So one day, a few weeks before Dec 11 (the start of my current stint), I got stoned and found the inspiration to make a commitment to myself to quit smoking for good. And I did. This has stuck with me so far. I do get the odd craving to go out onto the balcony and have a smoke, but it isn't the irresistible urge most smokers say it is. This isn't that hard.
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
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Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 10:25 pm
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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

Today is February 11, the day that my current 2 month stint ends.

What did we learn this month, kids, what did we learn about consuming caffeine and alcohol without the cannibinoids?

Well, as usual, it's hard to tell. I *think* abstaining from cannibinoids has made me less emotional, better able to handle hardships, but this is a very subjective and unmeasured assessment.

I've been through a few trials in the last month that were pretty harsh to take but I didn't find myself being "caught" in the emotions that were invoked. What I mean is that although there's been a lot of angst and anger and depression and fear, I found myself kind of sitting in the back seat of my mind just watching it--watching myself, watching my mind, watching my behavior, and just stoicly taking it in. That's not to say I felt no emotions, but that I was able to keep a split between the lower self which is caught in the sticky webs of the emotional roller-coaster and the higher self which simply sits back and observes.

All I know about this two month stint without cannibinoids is that I observed myself doing this. I don't know if this is because of the absence of cannibinoids or if this happens all the time anyway, but I noticed it.

January was quite a month for me. On January 4th, first thing in the morning, I got laid off. My project manager was kind enough to suggest to me that I contact ACM, a former client of ours, because he had heard they were looking for software developers. So I did. I contacted a former acquaintance there, emailed him my resume and cover letter, and ask him to pass it along to the boss. He did that, and a few days later I got a call back from them saying they were going to coordinate a job interview with Quadrus, the software company that they recently hired to take on their software projects. I had an edge because one of the upcoming projects they wanted to get started on was SafeGuard Profiler, an application that I used to work on at CoreData. No one at Quadrus knew the application or the code behind it. I did. So I went for the job interview, it went swimmingly, did a practicum they gave me, aced it with flying colors, basked in their praises of my performance on it, and essentially got the job. The actual arrangement for me to start working took a while, but it did happen: on Feb. 1st. I am now making 50% more than I was at my previous job (but with greater costs and risks).

So I'm employed again. But there is a catch. I'm now a contractor. For the first time in my life, I own my own business. It's relatively knew to me and I'm still working out the finances and tax implications. But at least I'm employed.

Now along side this, there is another development: I go to the Saskatchewan Pub, a local bar in my neighborhood. I meet a guy from Quebec there who tells me that I'm an awesome guy to hang out with, have a beer with, but I would never survive in a court of law acting as my own lawyer. I know it's the truth. I'm suddenly hit with the realization: this guys knows a shit load about me after only 5 minutes of conversing with me. I suddenly realize how transparent I am.

Later that night, I start talking with another dude at the bar. He turns out to be a spiritualist of some kind, or at least someone subject to spiritual experiences. He claims to be able to see the future. He puts it hypothetically: what if I were to tell you that you will be a millionaire, and married to a beautiful woman, would you believe me? I say no: I don't believe nor do I disbelieve. He seems disappointed. He keeps reiterating the hypothetical scenario, getting emotional, even angry. He tells me: if it actually happened to you, then you would believe, wouldn't you? I say: of course. He keeps reiterating the prophecy. I start to get the impression he's not speaking hypothetically anymore, but that in order for the prophecy to come true, I have to believe it. But I can't ask him: do I need to believe it in order for it to come true? That would defeat the purpose. At the same time, he can't just deliver the prophecy in a non-hypothetical way, for then I would surely disbelieve it, sabotaging the entire operation. I'm speechless in the end. I say: I don't know how to respond to that. I've hit a brick wall.

About a week later, I meet a beautiful blond.

The following Monday, I go back to the Saskatchewan Pub. Again, I meet a couple guys from Quebec. We start talking. The one guy tells me "I can tell you're weak". I ask him what he means by this. He says: you cannot lie. He then proceeds to show me how he and his buddy can spew bull shit like it's child's play. Again, I'm transparent to total strangers after 5 minutes of conversation. They can tell I wouldn't survive as a lawyer (or politician, or salesman, or businessman).

Some time in the next few months, I'm going to buy a house. I'm going to rent half of it and live in the other half. This will save me $1000 a month and make me an extra$500.

I am 7 months out of a failed marriage.

It's obvious to me that I'm going through a transition. First my marriage ends. Then I lose my job. Almost simultaneously I get a new job and find another woman, making more money, and possibly even more money in the next several month if this house thing pans out. The girl isn't working out so well if you follow the link above, but since when were prophecies set in stone.

Anyway, throughout all this, I've kept my calm despite how emotional it's all been. Is this because of a lack of cannibinoids in my system or do I draw connections between things with my fertile imagination that aren't really related at all?

Oh, BTW, still not smoking.
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

I wouldn't be me if I didn't try to interject some temptation.

Civilization is a ship of fools headed to a one way destination of catastrophe and annihilation, its many captains populated by asshole-idiots that all agree it is unsinkable.

Mictlantecuhtli
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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

HaHaHa wrote:I wouldn't be me if I didn't try to interject some temptation.

Too late my man, the 2 month stint is over.

And besides, it was weed I was depriving myself of, not booz. Perhaps you should have posted this:

My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
resident exorcist

Posts: 8480
Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 10:25 pm
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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

My mistake.
Civilization is a ship of fools headed to a one way destination of catastrophe and annihilation, its many captains populated by asshole-idiots that all agree it is unsinkable.

Mictlantecuhtli
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Location: Concrete Wilderness.

### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

Gib wrote:
It's obvious to me that I'm going through a transition. First my marriage ends. Then I lose my job. Almost simultaneously I get a new job and find another woman, making more money, and possibly even more money in the next several month if this house thing pans out. The girl isn't working out so well if you follow the link above, but since when were prophecies set in stone.

Anyway, throughout all this, I've kept my calm despite how emotional it's all been. Is this because of a lack of cannibinoids in my system or do I draw connections between things with my fertile imagination that aren't really related at all?

I have always thought this about you Gib:

You play your cards close to your chest and you are a shrewd operator, even though it seems otherwise, as you do have the tendency to act in the way you think people expect of you, but thinking about this, you do this for a reason.

I think all round Gib has been grossly under estimated, not only by people he knows, but by himself also, you must be surprising yourself daily.

I really thought the booze and drugs would get the better of you, but you prove me wrong and I happily acknowledge this.

All you need now is experience in the affairs of the heart and you are older now, so your past failures are not applicable to who you are today.

Kudos to Gib!

Are you in America? Is the housing market still depressed?
The man that walks his own road, walks alone

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A Shieldmaiden
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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

A Shieldmaiden wrote:Gib wrote:
It's obvious to me that I'm going through a transition. First my marriage ends. Then I lose my job. Almost simultaneously I get a new job and find another woman, making more money, and possibly even more money in the next several month if this house thing pans out. The girl isn't working out so well if you follow the link above, but since when were prophecies set in stone.

Anyway, throughout all this, I've kept my calm despite how emotional it's all been. Is this because of a lack of cannibinoids in my system or do I draw connections between things with my fertile imagination that aren't really related at all?

I have always thought this about you Gib:

You play your cards close to your chest and you are a shrewd operator, even though it seems otherwise, as you do have the tendency to act in the way you think people expect of you, but thinking about this, you do this for a reason.

I think all round Gib has been grossly under estimated, not only by people he knows, but by himself also, you must be surprising yourself daily.

I really thought the booze and drugs would get the better of you, but you prove me wrong and I happily acknowledge this.

All you need now is experience in the affairs of the heart and you are older now, so your past failures are not applicable to who you are today.

Kudos to Gib!

Thank you, Shieldy.

And again, I take back what I said to you earlier: I really, really don't hate you.

A Shieldmaiden wrote:Are you in America? Is the housing market still depressed?

I'm in Canada, and yes the housing market is still depressed, pretty much all over North America. But that's a good thing for buyers.
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
resident exorcist

Posts: 8480
Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 10:25 pm
Location: lost (don't try to find me)

### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

I decided to chart my progress:

drug chart.png (5.9 KiB) Viewed 1301 times
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
resident exorcist

Posts: 8480
Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 10:25 pm
Location: lost (don't try to find me)

### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

One good thing that's come out of this is that I want to speed up the process. I want it to happen sooner.

There seems to be an average of six month periods between these stints. I have to half that. 3 months (or thereabouts).

And once I go through all combinations, I want to take a 1 year break from all drugs and alcohol. I think if there's one thing these past several stints have been teaching me is that I need a lot more than 2 months.
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
resident exorcist

Posts: 8480
Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 10:25 pm
Location: lost (don't try to find me)

### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

I think this time around I'm going to forgo alcohol. So starting this Saturday, May 14th, I will go until July 14th with NO ALCOHOL!!!

BAAAHHH!!!
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
resident exorcist

Posts: 8480
Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 10:25 pm
Location: lost (don't try to find me)

### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

Gib,

So you're going to use peroxide? Gargle only.
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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

Maniacal Mongoose wrote:Gib,

So you're going to use peroxide? Gargle only.

I said BAAAHHH!!!
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
resident exorcist

Posts: 8480
Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 10:25 pm
Location: lost (don't try to find me)

### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

Chill out Gib, have a Majito

Civilization is a ship of fools headed to a one way destination of catastrophe and annihilation, its many captains populated by asshole-idiots that all agree it is unsinkable.

Mictlantecuhtli
Nihilistic Mystic And Hermit

Posts: 7202
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Location: Concrete Wilderness.

### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

HaHaHa wrote:Chill out Gib, have a Majito

If you lace it with acid, coke, maybe a crushed pill of ecstasy, I'll drink. But no alcohol!!!
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
resident exorcist

Posts: 8480
Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 10:25 pm
Location: lost (don't try to find me)

### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

I reeeaaallly wanted a drink on Friday. It was another one of my caffeine Fridays, and I had been really good the whole week. One cup of coffee in the morning on Monday, half a cup Wednesday mid-day, and then 3 cups Friday morning (and another big cup of Joe in the late afternoon). I was fucking wired... it would have been reeeaaally fun to drink that evening... but I didn't.

^ Just patting myself on the back. Now go on with your lives.
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
resident exorcist

Posts: 8480
Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 10:25 pm
Location: lost (don't try to find me)

### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

Today is July 15th, the day I can drink again. Actually, I *think* yesterday was, but I decided to wait for today. (If I quit drinking on May 14th--meaning my last drink was at the latest on May 13th--then does two months mean I can start drinking on July 14th or that my abstinance must follow through on July 14th? I think it means I could have started yesterday, but whatever).

Anyway, what did we learn this time?

drug chart - May 14 2016 - July 14 2016.png (11.57 KiB) Viewed 878 times

Overall, we learned that the absence of alcohol in my life is probably a pretty good thing. I get a lot more work done on the weekend--and I save a huge chunk of my wallet. I'd say that emotionally and physically, it doesn't do too much. Emotionally, I'm still the same, and physically, I still get tired on my days off caffeine. Of course, by "physically", I just mean how I feel (not counting the day after effect)--obviously there are many physical benefits to abstaining from alcohol. And of course, my non-caffeine days aren't that bad when I've abstained from caffeine for a good long while, but I find that even half a cup of coffee ever odd day, which I sometimes need, can take a toll on my energy on the even days.

But I definitely like having an extra day on the weekend sans hang over, and I'll take the savings in my bank account any day.

There are a couple other "learnings" I got out of this--not signs of life improvement per se, but definitely learnings:

1) It's definitely the caffeine that makes my trips twice as intense (at least). It's a trend I've known in my drug use for a while now: on my Fridays, after I get jacked and drunk, I'll smoke up. The high is definitely more intense than usual on these days. I always attributed it to the alcohol. I've read that alcohol can be a catalyst in helping other drugs get into the brain. That's what I assumed was happening. But these two months have taught me that all that's needed, in my case, is the caffeine. I guess if the neurons are already firing, this just adds to the effect of the cannabinoids.

2) I've also learned that the cannabinoids have a major impact on my self-discipline. I read Charles Baudelaire's On Wine and Hashish a while ago. Baudelaire compares the effects of wine and hashish and says that though they are very similar, there is a subtle but important difference: whereas wine lowers your inhibitions, hashish weakens your will. He had an agenda to try to promote alcohol and degrade cannabis, so he described the inhibiting effects of alcohol as "liberating", as freeing the soul from its own inhibitions, whereas cannabis was more stultifying of the soul, taking away its will to do, well, pretty much anything that requires effort. I don't care to celebrate alcohol or demonize pot, but I agree with Baudelaire's take on these effects. As subtle as the difference between them is, he was bang on.

Marijuana or any other cannabinoid has the effect of weakening your self-discipline (Baudelaire puts it in terms of "will"). This is not to say that I fell of the temperance horse, but that I was dieting at the same time (hey, I'm all about self-deprivation! ). Unlike with my commitment to abstaining from alcohol, I'm not as staunch when it comes to dieting. I'll allow myself a little snack every now and then, or to go over my daily goal by a couple hundred calories. But this makes all the difference in the world to my self-discipline. It essentially means I allow room for excuses. If I've already gone over my daily limit by a couple hundred calories, what's a hundred more (I tell myself)? Or sometimes: fuck it! Just on this day, I'm gorging; I'll eat extra lean tomorrow or go for an extra bike ride. <-- All because I allow for some wiggle room in my discipline.

This time around, I got a good feel for how the cannabinoids can take advantage of this wiggle room. Whereas my determination not to drink can be put on auto-pilot so to speak (I can't actually trick myself into thinking a drink or two is OK), my determination to limit my calorie intake requires constant and deliberate effort. This is where the "munchies", as the druggie vernacular calls it, takes its toll. For me, the experience wasn't that I'm more hungry than usual, but that I just couldn't help myself. I just watched myself caving almost every time. My will, my self-discipline, was sabotages by the pot.

So a little lesson in self-discipline: don't smoke pot. I also had the opportunity to learn a few more tricks about self-discipline, but those had nothing to do with the abstinence of alcohol (though I'm sure a lack of alcohol is certainly a helpful tip). They are: 1) remind yourself that you're supposed to have cravings, or that it's supposed to be uncomfortable. This is the whole reason so many people fail at their new years resolutions the first month in. They supposedly "know" that losing weight, or quitting smoking, or whatever, is going to be hard, but when they feel it, they suddenly get the idea that: this isn't supposed to be so hard, therefore I'm justified in breaking my commitment. Reminding yourself that this is supposed to be hard makes the cravings or discomfort suddenly seem like "business as usual" and it becomes a bit easier to dismiss them. And just to give you an extra boost, 2) remind yourself of your goal. Say to yourself: don't you want to lose weight? Don't you want to look good? Live healthy? Reinforce that you're doing this for a reason, that there's a prize at the end of the road worth working towards, but you do have to put in the work in order to make it a reality.

BTW, started smoking again... but then quit again. This time, however, I think I can only do it for two or three month stretches.
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It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
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gib
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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

So it looks like all I have left are three 2 month stints during which I allow myself only one category of drug: caffeine, alcohol, or cannibinoids.

My next stint will last from Jan. 1 to Feb. 28. The only question is, which category? I'd like to hear from ILP members on this question.
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
resident exorcist

Posts: 8480
Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 10:25 pm
Location: lost (don't try to find me)

### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

Alcohol and mary jane are downers, so try caffeine, the upper, by its lonesome in (80% cocoa content or higher)small chocolate pieces. No caffeine drinks.
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### Re: 2 months--no drugs or alcohol

Maniacal Mongoose wrote:Alcohol and mary jane are downers, so try caffeine, the upper, by its lonesome in (80% cocoa content or higher)small chocolate pieces. No caffeine drinks.

What? You can't tell me no drinks! *slaps hand*

But it's an intriguing idea nonetheless. So 80% cocoa or higher, you say, huh? How much chocolate would I have to eat to reach, let's say, one cup of coffee?
My thoughts | My art | My music | My poetry

It is impossible for a human being to go through life not thinking irrationally even if they think of themselves as rational
Also just as irrational decisions are not always bad then rational ones are not always good no matter what the intention
- surreptitious75

The rating of rationality can be higher and always is higher than the person trying to be rational. Rationality is less emotional than the person delivering it.
- encode_decode

Is that a demon slug in your stomach or are you just happy to see me?
- Rick Sanchez

gib
resident exorcist

Posts: 8480
Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 10:25 pm
Location: lost (don't try to find me)

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