Absolute Randomness

This is the place to shave off that long white beard and stop being philosophical; a forum for members to just talk like normal human beings.

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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby promethean75 » Tue May 28, 2019 12:05 am

what happens when a mindless, white working class redneck who on account of being brainwashed by christianity and the protestant work ethic, is perfectly satisfied with spending all his time off from being exploited at his job doing HVAC (which he thanks god for having), at Daryl's pool hall and beer where he meets Rhonda the waitress (who likes to ride the mechanical bull while all the boys watch), starts an extramarital affair, and relieves himself from the overwhelming guilt every night by playing that stupid game with god where he kneels before his bed and says 'yeah but i'm only human and humans sin so please forgive me', only to do the same thing again next friday, etc., etc.? how does a lying piece of invalid, mediocre white trash with an IQ of 91 and a big 'ol ford pick-up truck with a lift-kit (that he doesn't actually need because he never goes off road; it's just for show) and two trump bumper stickers symmetrically placed at each side of the tailgate between the confederate flag in the middle which symbolizes a war which he knows nothing about (it's just for show too), deal with the sheer intensity and depth of the existential guilt and shame he feels at the thought of his wife, Terry May (who he met at the 'jesus saves' church seven years ago), finding out and demanding a divorce? what does he do when he pulls out of Rhonda's driveway at 3:30 a.m. and starts that long, lonesome drive home when he'll reflect on (with as much sophistication as a redneck dimwit can muster) the great struggle he must endure to save his impious soul from the very devil himself.

easy. he puts this song on, and, transforming into a redneck poet/philosopher/tragedian, enters the reverie, looks deep, deep into the mysteries of the universe and the plight of the white man in his struggle against evil... while the rain patters against his windshield as he drives down highway whatever.
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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby barbarianhorde » Wed May 29, 2019 12:25 pm

Dude thats such an atmospheric story. A real pleasure to read. Youre one of these guys who can make you hear the rain fall on the driveway, literarily.

I don't give a shit for your morals as you know, I can only say oh isn't he resentful blah blah, but hey we all have our axe to grind. But the point is, maybe, jus maybe, you could do me a favour and write a pulp novel about some one, anyone, you don't like.
It is true that liberty is precious; so precious that it must be carefully rationed.
~ Владимир Ильич Ульянов Ленин

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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby promethean75 » Wed May 29, 2019 1:49 pm

Dude thats such an atmospheric story. A real pleasure to read. Youre one of these guys who can make you hear the rain fall on the driveway, literarily.


what? this is almost as melodramatic as that dummy on his way home from Rhonda's double-wide. the point is not to create depth, but caricature the complete lack of depth.

but this country music pop shit is taking over my radio. it's taken total control of every broadcast in the south-eastern united states. like a virus contagion transmitted over the radio waves. like the other day i actually looked twice at the cowboy hat in the window of bob's country western store as i drove past and thought 'you know, this could be me. i could buy the hat, the boots, the giant belt buckle, everything... and i could pull the dumb southern drawl off perfectly, memorize a few scriptures, start paying attention to baseball, renew my hunting license, and maybe join farmersonly.com where i can find me a good girl, get captured by pure desire, and fall into that ring of fire...
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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby promethean75 » Thu May 30, 2019 4:11 pm

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1UTbRdghuji

...

I'm a moron 'n' this is my wife
She's frosting a cake
With a paper knife
All what we got here's
American made
It's a little bit cheesy
But it's nicely displayed
Well we don't get excited when it
Crumbles 'n' breaks
We just get on the phone
And call up some Flakes
They rush on over
'N' wreck it some more
'N' we are so dumb
They're linin' up at our door...

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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby promethean75 » Fri May 31, 2019 1:11 am

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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby promethean75 » Thu Jun 13, 2019 11:59 pm

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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby promethean75 » Sun Jun 16, 2019 8:53 pm

Name five things that are better than kettle cooked potato chips. You can't do it. You know what I'm talking about, right? Not regular chips. Kettle cooked chips are always thicker and all folded up on themselves. Lot more burnt ones in the bag, too. And when you bite em they're like CCCCCCRUUUUNCH-CHUH. omg they are so good. I can eat a whole bag at once, easy.
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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby MagsJ » Sun Jun 16, 2019 9:21 pm

promethean75 wrote:Name five things that are better than kettle cooked potato chips. You can't do it. You know what I'm talking about, right? Not regular chips. Kettle cooked chips are always thicker and all folded up on themselves. Lot more burnt ones in the bag, too. And when you bite em they're like CCCCCCRUUUUNCH-CHUH. omg they are so good. I can eat a whole bag at once, easy.

Them.. them and non-GMO tortilla chips, yeah!

Too moreish..

..a morning coffee
..a much-needed alcoholic beverage come the weekend
..achieving a goal or deadline
..making others smile and/or laugh.
The possibility of anything we can imagine existing is endless and infinite

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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby promethean75 » Thu Jun 20, 2019 11:34 pm

Nihilism reconsidered?

https://youtu.be/mZAJytwa0Fg
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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby promethean75 » Fri Jun 21, 2019 12:04 am

https://youtu.be/1tag9Pm3qtA

Lol is that James Woods doing owlman's voice?
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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby promethean75 » Sun Jun 23, 2019 3:20 pm

https://streamable.com/4rebf

It rubs the comb through its hair
Or else it doesn't keep the chair
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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby promethean75 » Sun Jul 07, 2019 3:12 am

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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby promethean75 » Mon Jul 15, 2019 12:21 am

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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby promethean75 » Mon Jul 15, 2019 12:59 pm

"I wish those four black-ass American congress women would go back to the country they came from" - Trump

You've wanted to say this for so long, and finally you got the balls to do it. Attaboy, don!
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Re: Absolute Randomness

Postby promethean75 » Tue Jul 16, 2019 6:08 pm

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1rh4nnkuWLe

Hexheadhammerironmaidenharleydavidson, ladies and gentlemen....

https://youtu.be/1rvPeGyYQnQ
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