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This is the place to shave off that long white beard and stop being philosophical; a forum for members to just talk like normal human beings.

Postby AVICENNA A.D. » Thu Jun 16, 2005 11:21 pm

AVICENNA A.D., student, degree of philosophy in hand tomorrow! Tantalized by philosophy, politics, religion, sports (I'll dunk on you and quote Nietzche in German), Physics of space, time, spacetime, stupid people, smart people, nothing in between.
"Whooped 'em again, didn't we Josey?"
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Postby noetician » Fri Jun 17, 2005 7:28 am

greetings.. new here, introduced to the site by my buddy avicenna. what up yo? you didn't think i'd forget, did you? i'm kind of addicted :/

my interests: fashion, shopping, boys, and myself!

...just kidding...

peace out

PS: AD--nietzche in german eh? how about i quote you avicenna himself in arabic :wink:
...congrats on your graduation!!
"Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools talk because they have to say something."
-Plato
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Postby Guardianus Defunctorum » Sun Jun 19, 2005 12:50 am

AVICENNA A.D. wrote:AVICENNA A.D., student, degree of philosophy in hand tomorrow! Tantalized by philosophy, politics, religion, sports (I'll dunk on you and quote Nietzche in German), Physics of space, time, spacetime, stupid people, smart people, nothing in between.



Well, you just sound like an all-around badass!
We lay there and looked up at the night sky and she told me about stars called blue squares and red swirls and I told her id never heard of them. Of course not, she said. the really important stuff they never tell you.
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Postby Kititt » Mon Jun 20, 2005 3:53 pm

Hello, all. I'm obviously new. I just graduated highschool about a month ago. Planning on majoring in philosophy in college and eventually teaching the subject.

I may start posting a lot, but chances are I'll be a resident lurker.

[edit: You all are by far the most interesting, amusing, and intimidating group I have ever seen. o.o;]
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im a new guy here

Postby Hassooni » Sun Jun 26, 2005 7:00 am

hi im a new guy and a young one i think im the youngest if there is younger then 14 pm me
id be surprised if there is!
peace
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hello from igor

Postby Igor » Tue Jul 05, 2005 9:39 pm

hello from igor, thorry i havent introduced mythelf before i wathnt thure if ilp was the place for me. but after a few dayth of reading (or lurking ath itth called) i thought id stick around. anyone who readth Terry Pratchet will know why i write like thith...

but i can also write normally if im being serious. i came to ilovephilosophy.com by accident - it was the homepage on the second-hand computer i just bought. i chose igor because ironically or perhaps un-ironically i work as a professional mourner attached to a number of undertakers here in Milton Keynes. im not very well ecucated but have a somber disposition and plenty of time to think (for some reason less people seem to die during the summer months - must be the sunshine) i hope people will find my comments interesting.

thankyou for reading and ill thee you all later...
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Postby TheAdlerian » Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:17 pm

professional mourner

Could you tell us about that?
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Postby noetician » Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:21 pm

wow...professional mourner? pardon my ignorance, but i never knew you guys existed. what exactly does the job entail?
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Postby noetician » Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:22 pm

lol..so i wasn't the only one who found that intriguing
by the way, welcome :D
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Igor

Postby thirst4metal » Tue Jul 05, 2005 11:24 pm

Hello New F(r)iends,

I be the Sea Captain... Yar!
Yar, ye all be handsome petes, do ye dance on the pier for nickels?
Yar, I'm not attractive but tell me this then ... do ye have any spare change?


**holds out hand and shakes the hand of all the new members**

-Thirst4TheSimpsons... Yar!
It is such a secret place, the land of tears. -The Little Prince.
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. -TLP
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Postby Melted Ice » Wed Jul 06, 2005 4:12 am

In solid form I wade through a sea of lunacy...could ILP be the light at the end? Or just the beginning?

Hi all! I guess I've been a voyer here too long; time to throw my hat into the proverbial ring...step on it all you want, just give it back when you're done... :D
(We get two eyes but only one vision)

(My favorite philosophers haven't been born yet)
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Postby embracetrees » Wed Jul 06, 2005 5:06 am

oh my, i think youre gonna go on m "favourites" list! :D
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Postby Melted Ice » Wed Jul 06, 2005 5:24 am

Hi Embrace, let's not jump to any conclusions just yet... :wink:

I'm sure 'twould be an honor...
(We get two eyes but only one vision)

(My favorite philosophers haven't been born yet)
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Postby embracetrees » Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:57 am

thats why i said "i think" dear...
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Postby Igor » Wed Jul 06, 2005 12:43 pm

greetingth adlerian and noetician, igor will talk about hith job:

to be a professional mourner is not all that hard - you must look reasonably good in a black suit, wear a quite jaunty top hat with a black-ribbon, and be of medium height - not too tall and not too short - im just under 6 foot - which is about right. duties involve walking in front of the hearse, helping the relatives of the deceased (with a gesture only if at all possible) and sometimes (becoming more frequent these days) lending a shoulder to the coffin - hence the height thing.

the important thing is not to speak unless absolutely necessary and to be expressionless. you must do nothing to involve yourself with the relatives or provoke any reaction. you are a robot - simply there to smooth the way. this gives me lots of time to think and to take my mind away from the job - a good thing because it is so hard not to wet my pants with laughter sometimes... this sounds bad but imagine if the whole of your job rotated around NOT laughing or even smiling. you would be doing the same - it stacks up in your head sometimes - the laughter - you push it down - it comes back even more hysterical than before - its horrible you think of all the people who would be horrified if you laughed... and that just make the whole thing funnier. i havent laughed yet - but its been a close shave sometimes.


thankyou fro your welcome i will try to live up to ilp'th high thtandardth
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Postby Impenitent » Wed Jul 06, 2005 2:06 pm

Igor-

no expression at all? that sounds more like a professional mannequin rather than a "mourner"... did you have to get a degree in mortuary science to do that gig or is that just for the embalmers?

-Imp
cogito ergo cogito
sum ergo sum...

Λογοκρισία και σιωπή

What's the difference between a liberal and Al Qaeda?
Oh, you don't know either?

"False is the idea of utility that sacrifices a thousand real advantages for one imaginary or trifling inconvenience; that would take fire from men because it burns, and water because one may drown in it; that has no remedy for evils, except destruction. The laws that forbid the carrying of arms are laws of such a nature. They disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes....Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man." (Thomas Jefferson)

"Stat rosa pristina nomine, nomina nuda tenemus" -Eco
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Postby km2_33 » Wed Jul 06, 2005 2:14 pm

Igor, I’m sure most of the amateur mourners here on ILP would be green with envy; you’re doing something they love doing and getting paid for it!

Igor wrote:the important thing is not to speak unless absolutely necessary

With your lithsp, I can fully understand.

Anyway, welcome to you and to Ice Cube -- you both sound interesting.. and welcome to the others too :D
“Stop throwing the Constitution in my face.... It’s just a goddamned piece of paper!” G W Bush

Why do they hate us? It's the injustice, stupid

"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross." - Sinclair Lewis

"If justice and righteousness perish, human life would no longer have any value in the world" - Immanuel Kant - Science of Right.
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Postby Igor » Wed Jul 06, 2005 6:59 pm

dear impenitant and km3_22

- no real qualificationth beyond gcses - we are more gothic window drething than anything elthe - a reasonably thmart appearance and no facial hair ith all that matterth - and no (vithable) piercings of courthe. the embalmerth have all been to univerthity - hell, even the funeral cothmeticianth have polytechnic diplomath - we mournerth just have our dour exprethionth.

there is an up thide to the profethion of courthe - the ladieth love an igor - he can get a thtiffy anytime he wantth... :D

Thankth for the welcome everybody
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Postby TheAdlerian » Wed Jul 06, 2005 7:04 pm

Thanks for the info Igor! I thought that I had heard everything! Now maybe I have (I bet not).

Anyway, how much does such a rank pay? If you don't want to say please don't. Also, I would like to know how you came by that job. Did you know someone or did you randomly apply?
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Postby noetician » Wed Jul 06, 2005 7:16 pm

thanks for the info, igor. i thought you went to funerals for people who have no friends and pretended to be a guest. i saw it once on punk'd.

a job like that must really keep you in check. although i can totally relate to the laughing thing. i think i would die.
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Postby TheAdlerian » Wed Jul 06, 2005 7:49 pm

A few times when I had to see therapy clients nonstop I got a case of the giggles. The worst was when a guy with CP started telling me for about the fiftieth time that he was going to hang himself from his showerhead. As he told me this his eyes jiggled back and forth very rapidly. That set me off. I pretended that I got something stuck in my throat and ran into another office where I had to bang the walls to stop laughing.

It wasn’t about the guy being funny, rather it was a case of stress and just hearing too much weirdness in one day, or lifetime maybe.
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Postby Elbethil » Thu Jul 07, 2005 9:50 am

Hello, I'm a newbie here. I'm not very good with introductions, so I'll leave it at that. :)
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Postby Igor » Thu Jul 07, 2005 12:15 pm

Anyway, how much does such a rank pay?

igor take pennieth from corpses eyes...

alas - not much - igor makes somewhere around minimum wage according to the books. but the funeral homes around milton keynes have an informal agreement: each employs 1 or 2 mourners on a full time basis. but 2 mourners are not enough for anything but a very small family funeral. so each undertaker lends his mourners to the others as required. and the undertaker borrowing them pays them a set fee for the ceremony. so igor makes quite a bit usually on top of his wage. the more people that die - the more money igor makes...

its funny but I have noticed that business rises and falls according to a fairly strict agenda - the 2 weeks before christmas - business slows dramatically - then the 2 weeks after - rises again. the same with school holidays - less people pop their corks while the kids are home or visiting - and of course the summer months are slower to.

so - if you want to live a long time - 1) go live somewhere warm. 2) make sure every 2 weeks or so you arrange something to look forward to and 3) keep some kids around you (but not in a Michael Jackson kind of way)

i got the job through a friend of a friend - the boss is his uncle. been doing it 3 years now - not much good as a long term house and pension kind of job but good enough for now - i plan to start an open university accountancy course as soon as the summer is over.


tho - there you go - think of igor ath a kind of human blow-fly - growing fat off carrion...
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Postby Atalanta » Fri Jul 08, 2005 12:21 am

Igor wrote:tho - there you go - think of igor ath a kind of human blow-fly - growing fat off carrion...


:o finger-lickin-good imagery! don't get behind me with that spade -- okay?
  • Into the soul
    Into the heart
    Into the dark. . .
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Postby Gobbo » Sat Jul 09, 2005 5:04 am

Hi, My name's Matthew and I live in Nova Scotia, Canada though I was born in British Columbia. I study Philosophy at Dalhousie University.

I love poetry and I love to write, but more importantly I love anything that truly makes me think, which is why I ILP and why I'm here.

Anyways I just found this site and this is like my 2nd post I think, but expect to here from the monkey again sometime soon.
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