Just recently I have found the most amazing woman ever. the kind of girl I have dreamed about marrying which is ultimatly what I want. We had a great time togethor we hit it off very well, But there is one problem She lives 10,000 miles away has a child and is still married for the child (they decided it was best for their kid), I know these circumstances would create an immediate response probably not the answer I want to hear, But I cannot get over the feeling I have, I feel like I need to go to her and make one last stand to have a chance to prove and show my love for her and her child, But I am not sure if the reasoning justifies the circumstances. Please help me make the right decision for me and her. Thank you in advance
Nzz2c4, does she feel the same? if so then go to her or invite her to live with you. Love is like catching a bus, if you dont get this one it’ll be a eternity before you catch it again. 10,000 miles 
if your feelings for each other are strong then theres nothing stopping you from been together; 10,000 miles though, well maybe the your feelings will grow or grow apart. 
/ 
I don’t know what to tell you.
I’m in a similar position, really. I love a 20 year old woman (ok, girl) with a kid, whose done a lot of growing up since then. She’s funny, she’s good looking (read: the hotness), she’s clever, she’s creative, she’s motivated, and she’s unstoppable. What’s better is that, for some reason, she likes me.
She lives in NYC, I live in D.C. (yes, we’ve met in real life).
It’s a difficult choice. It all depends on how much faith you have. We’re both college students, she has a kid, and even if we click, it’s just the wrong time to be taking leaps of faith on a relationship…for me at least.
But if you’re well-established, and ready for a serious commitment, then yes, do something about it. Just be sure you’re doing it for the right reasons (as I’m often inclined to say that online or long distance romances are not for). If you enjoy the comfort barrier of 10,000 miles too much, don’t go for it. It’s not right. Some people prefer the distance, for some reason.
It’s up to you, but all I gotta say is, expect the best but plan for the worst.
By the way…she’s not trying to get citizenship or anything, is she?
Unrequited love, where are the Arabian poets? someone once said, “Distance is to love as wind is to fire, it makes the small ones go out and the big ones grow bigger.” Good luck.
With recent philosophical and life experience/breakthrough’s in my life, my advice to you is “follow your heart/feeling” - no matter what happens, as long as you follow that then you are fine.
GO!
Passion is stronger than Reason.
Yup, that’s why we have so much wrong in this world. If everyone was reasonable, there would be no jealousy, hate, digust, violence, pollution, drugs, or sodomy laws.
Perhaps this isn’t a good thing?
What’s your give?
When i knew my wife (biblically- sorry for the euphemism Raf) it was the scariest, most wondrous, time of my life. I was so scared it would mess up our already firmly entrenched friendship.
Yes, and how many other times do people fuck women who are friends and it winds up going awry? I’m convinced that it happens more often than naught that this is the main cause for male-female friendships being destroyed.
I almost had that happen to me this new years…but we wound up making out instead, and I was heart broken when we had to go back to friends (for some reason). I’m not so sure we’ll ever be the same again, we can’t talk about the same things we did before. It’s too odd now. We talk still, but it’s very business-like.
whats love?
Yeah, jedi_pocky, been wondering the same thing recently.
Thanks for all your input, but love can make people do stupid things. I took the advise from the first four replys to my plee, and went back to hawaii to show my feelings, and was sent packing. The love she had for me was not as strong as the love of her daughter’s happiness. People these days do not understand the value of love, relatinships or freedom of life. I do not want to sound bitter, but the pain I feel is just as sincere.
People these days are more willing to pain themselves for the remainder of their time to please others that are close to them (Maybe for the wrong reasons). But everyone has a choice unfortunatley I was not hers. Thanks again for all your support and believing true love is still out there. Keep faith.
“Those who say it cannot be done, should avoid those doing it”
~MZ
Thanks for all your input, but love can make people do stupid things. I took the advise from the first four replys to my plee, and went back to hawaii to show my feelings, and was sent packing. The love she had for me was not as strong as the love of her daughter’s happiness. People these days do not understand the value of love, relatinships or freedom of life. I do not want to sound bitter, but the pain I feel is just as sincere.
People these days are more willing to pain themselves for the remainder of their time to please others that are close to them (Maybe for the wrong reasons). But everyone has a choice unfortunatley I was not hers. Thanks again for all your support and believing true love is still out there. Keep faith.
“Those who say it cannot be done, should avoid those doing it”
~MZ
If life is the sum of our personal experiences, then you sir, have just added a large and important value to your life. You’re going to have to take it as you will, but it’s not your fault, and you know it. Personally, I admire you for doing what you did. Unfortunately, you’re heart broken, but think of it this way… you have a great story to tell while washing your sorrows down at the pub.
Congradulations, you’re closer to death and all the more wiser for it. Now you know what you’re capable of doing in the name of love. If I were God, I’d say you passed my test, Abraham.
Sorry things didn’t work out nzz2c4. But at least now you know that it won’t work and you won’t wonder ‘What if i had taken that chance…?’.
That’s a chinese dude responsible for that quote in your sig, right?
nzz2c4,
Raf and Marshall have summed up, quite nicely, most of what I wanted to say. The only additions I would add are 1) being active is always better than being inactive. Sitting at home wondering about what could have been, as Marshall pointed out, would have driven you bonkers. 2) Sometimes, in order to win, we have to lose. Those who are too afraid of doing things like what you did never lose in the context, but they don’t win either, what they do is lose in general. 3) The pinnacle of all wisdom in my life lately is that being yourself is more important than anything that can happen to you. If being you was to go see this girl, then it matters not how things worked out with her or what they may be in the future, all that matters is that you are you and continue to be that way. But alas I have gone against my own beliefs. Marshall pointed me to a very interesting quote, one that I think is very wise…“Be chary of giving advice, wise men don’t need it, and fools won’t heed it.” Lord Alfred Scott - nzz2c4, I think you to be a wise person, or hopefully if you aren’t wise then you are the mean between the two of wise and fool.
Hope your head may clear on the matters that have been discussed within this thread.
What’s your take?
I agree with all of you, and again thanks for taking the time to help me find resolution. My thoughts are that everyone must find what they are looking for and not sit and wait for it to come to them. The ones who do look are true to themselves and those who dont need some self realization. Even those who do look and still dont find, well it puts them that much closer to what they are looking for. This woman idealy was what I was looking for, but in the wrong package. I believe you must do what your heart strongly desires for the sole purpose of truth. Honestly I cannot blame her for making the choice she made. Her heart strongly desired for her daughter’s happiness, over her own. So leaving it at that, She has a much larger heart than most in this world.
nzz2c4
“Those who say it cannot be done, should avoid those doing it”
MZ