In Kingston we have Neil (the man with no legs), Shakespeare (who runs down the Richmond road every day) and Liam, who’s just a bit of a tramp. Is this phenomenon specific to Kingston, or does every area have its local characters that provide amusement?
oh i think everywhere has these strange beings. in notts we have The Xylophone Man and his arch nemesis Nigel the racist tramp who throws streams of abuse at you accusing you of being a racist if you dont hand over at least a pound. most of our celebrities are homeless and crazy though… 
We have similar characters here in Reading: the flute man who only knows one song in his whole life and decides to play it everyday of his life. If you are a local you will no this and I am afraid I may have to house him soon before he causes me to kill him!
We have various other characters too!
Don’t forget Moses louise… he’s a bit of a legend. heh
we have glen.
oh glen glen glen… where do i start?
he is known to every single person in torquay, for his traipsing up and down the main street all day long asking everyone if they can spare 1p. he is always off his face on every substance known to man and no doubt a few that aren’t aswell, and looks like he last washed in about 1982. he is without doubt the vilest and skankiest tramp i’ve ever seen, and probably the youngest aswell… young homeless people generally not having been able to accumulate the level of mankiness to class as a tramp.
recently he got himself a pikey girlfriend, who now joins him on his drug and cider fuelled 1p missions… a friend of mine works in pizza-hut, and they keep catching the pair of them shagging in there at closing time. shes pregnant now.
We people in Chiswick had a legend too: the car lady. She lived in a car most of her life after she decided to giving up being a concert pianist (!). The car was covered in plastic bags to stop it leaking cos it was so old. And the neighbours would get together at the end of each year to pay off her parking fines. Then about a month ago it was towed away because it was “a public health and safety hazard”. So now we don’t have a local character anymore (sigh). I’ll just have to start traipsing up the high street every day with plastic bags everywhere to make up for the loss.
i still think we should all take a member of the peruvian panpipes group to our prom. just think … they could accompany simon ferris.
No way!!! I’m from kingston (well surbiton) that dude’s name is Neil? Cool, have you ever seen him tuck his trouser legs under his stumps? Oh and you must know that cool guitar player, the one who always wears a head scarf with an old stetson over the top. There are so many legends around Kingston. Oh and is there any particular reason why all the nu-metal kids/punker in my pockets just hang around the back of the Bentall Centre? It gets insane round there, one saturday we noticed that there were hardly any around, then we went in the next weekend and they had come back and atleast doubled their numbers! Maybe they were off at some recruitment convention or something.
he’s called neil because he has no legs - get it?
as for the nu metal kids - it’s tradition: tower records used to be there, and everyone would steal from it.
wow, it all makes sense now!
With regards to Neil (aka Legless Larry for the more puerile amongst us), someone put him in a bin once. And a friend, can’t remember which, once saw him pee. Said it was quite something.
Headscarf man’s cool. I still like the pan pipe guys best… rain or shine, they’re out there spreading the joy of musical banality.
Apart from yesterday, possibly, where someone probably mistook them for an Argentinian and beat them. Win or lose, you gotta beat up the opposition.
i’m starting to feel sorry for the ‘lonely’ man, he always looks so disapointed when no one talks to him.