[b]Colson Whitehead
Did you know that smiling politely burns up the same amount of calories as speaking your mind.[/b]
You know, if you’re on a diet.
Spoiler: I didn’t win the Main Event. You had suspicions, you say? For one thing, the subtitle of this book would be “The Amazing Life-Affirming Story of an Unremarkable Jerk Who Won the World Series of Poker!” instead of having the word “Death” in it. For another, do these sound like the words of a motherfucker who won a million goddamn dollars?
Nope, didn’t spoil it for me.
Why should anyone else have it easy. Spoken like a true New Yorker.
Or: Spoken like a true Earthling.
I prefer the American spirit, the one that called us from the Old World to the New, to conquer and build and civilize. And destroy that what needs to be destroyed. To lift up the lesser races. If not lift up, subjugate. And if not subjugate, exterminate. Our destiny by divine prescription – the American imperative.
Rhymes with Trump.
Was it counterintuitive to apply lessons from a women’s self-defense book to the World Series of Poker? Yes. But if modernity has taught us anything, it’s that you don’t fuck with Oprah.
Let’s try to understand this.
Suck it, Entropy. We have an appointment, my old friend, but not today.
Of course [as we all know] entropy has all the time in the world.