[b]David Sedaris
You can’t brace yourself for famine if you’ve never known hunger.[/b]
Go ahead, try.
I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself.
Who the hell started that anyway?
Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.
So to speak let’s say.
I won’t put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footsteps of the living dead.
Of course that goes without saying.
And when Hugh would grow progressively Gandhi on me, I’d remind him that these were pests—disease carriers who feasted upon the dead and then came indoors to dance upon our silverware.
Point taken?
I’ve become like one of those people I hate, the sort who go to the museum and, instead of looking at the magnificent Brueghel, take a picture of it, reducing it from art to proof. It’s not “Look what Brueghel did, painted this masterpiece” but "Look what I did, went to Rotterdam and stood in front of a Brueghel painting!”
There must be the equivalent of that here. Right, Kids?