[b]David Sedaris
To put [undecided voters] in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”
To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.[/b]
He means the next election too.
When asked “What do we need to learn this for?” any high-school teacher can confidently answer that, regardless of the subject, the knowledge will come in handy once the student hits middle age and starts working crossword puzzles in order to stave off the terrible loneliness.
I’ve always preferred crostics myself.
I’m the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I’ve never even met.
Never even came close myself. But that’s their problem.
Boys who spent their weekends making banana nut muffins did not, as a rule, excel in the art of hand-to-hand combat.
Doesn’t surprise me.
It’s just a penis, right? Probably no worse for you than smoking.
We’ll need a context of course.
This left me alone to solve the coffee problem - a sort of catch-22, as in order to think straight I need caffeine, and in order to make that happen I need to think straight.
Hell, that might even be catch-44.