[b]Nora Ephron
In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind. [/b]
So, how kinky is that?
There’s a reason why forty, fifty, and sixty don’t look the way they used to, and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye. In the 1950’s only 7 percent of American women dyed their hair; today there are parts of Manhattan and Los Angeles where there are no gray-haired women at all.
Let’s pin down the significance of this.
You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Why not?
What I’m saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
No you don’t.
Yes I do.
No you don’t.
Yes I do.
You only think you do.
You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
No, what I’m saying is they all want to have sex with you.
They do not.
Do too.
They do not.
Do too.
How do you know?
Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
What if they don’t want to have sex with you?
Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
This is still true, right?
The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee.
At least six.
When you’re attracted to someone, it just means that your subconscious is attracted to their subconscious, subconsciously. So what we think of as fate is just two neuroses knowing that they are a perfect match.
And that’s well before we get to the id.
…the amount of maintenance involving hair is genuinely overwhelming. Sometimes I think that not having to worry about your hair anymore is the secret upside of death.
Look, we all know there really are people like this. And not just Don Trump.