What do you want to know?
I'll tell you four stories, four bad trips I remember having:1) On AM-2201:
I just smoked up and could feel the high coming on really
strong. I had an "oh shit" moment, but then just told myself to relax, get a drink of water, and go lay on the bed. So I did that, hands shaking while I filled the glass. I laid on the bed. I heard the rain outside. I focused on the rain. It started to transform. It start to sound like static, like electric sparks, and it sort of "migrated" along the wall to the middle of the room. I transformed a bit more, started to sound like language, like something was speaking to me. It became like multiple voices sharing the same sound. Then I could make out what they were saying: they were telling me that they could transform matter and experience, that they could make my world whatever they wanted, that there were no rules, that any minute they wanted they could flip my entire world up-side-down. When they sensed that felt threatened by this, they tried to reassure me that they were only trying to teach me a new technology. I didn't know whether to trust them or not. I was terrified. I felt like something was immanent, some unfathomable transformation of my reality was about to happen. Then for some reason I recognized a gap between the raw auditory sounds themselves and the meanings of the words--I all of a sudden recognized no
meaning in the sounds and all
the meaning in my thoughts. Then I thought: THIS IS JUST A DELUSION!!! <-- And I snapped myself out of it.
Later that night I had a very intense experience of my ex making a very strong psychic connection with my mind. She entered into my mind, becoming one with me essentially, and forcing me to experience all the pain I put her through. The guilt was unbearable. <-- But that too I eventually came to recognize as delusional.2) On AM-2201:
I was in Regina, visiting my mother in the hospital. I decided not to get a hotel and rather slept in my Durrango in a deserted parking lot. I smoked up. The trip became so intense, I starting thinking I wasn't in my Durrango, but some kind of military vehicle, and I was actually in the middle of a war. I imagined that I only conjured up the idea in my mind that I was in Regina, and all this time my life was a series of fabricated memories that I invented for myself because my fragile mind couldn't handle the reality of being in the military and at war. And just now I was snapping out of it. I was suddenly flooded with a sense of terror, a sense that death was immanent, that all those bombs and gun fire outside spelled my impending doom.
Later in that same trip I had this really weird experience where I was just hunched over in the fetal position, looking at some kind of shining light on the floor, and listening to myself breathe. I was breathing really slowly, and I could feel my heart beating. It was pounding at something like 1 beat every 10 seconds. <-- That's slow. It was a real contrast with the 2 beats a minute from a little earlier. And I remembered watching one of those late night shows (I think Conan) on which he had a Buddhist guest, someone who could slow his heart to about 1 beat per 10 minutes, and he would use the pulse coursing through his veins to drive a tiny chisel or hammer into a mold or some clay, essentially creating a tiny sculpture. It was just a very surreal state of mind to be in. Just staring at that light on the floor.3) On pot:
I had this really horrific vision about the core of the universe being sheer, utter pain and suffering, and that in the afterlife we were all going to become one with it. This vision included a depiction of the evolution of life being a kind of "escape" process for God to temporarily get away from himself, putting tiny pieces of himself into little organism so as to temporarily experience individuation from the rest of himself. It's sort of the idea I was trying to get at here
. <-- That too I snapped out of and returned to thinking of the experience of existence (i.e. being God) as simply a great unknown.4) On pot:
I thought there were little invisible "gremlin"-like demon surrounding me. I had this imagine of them latching onto my head drilling into my skull with jack hammers, trying to get into my brain. I felt like they were trying to jump into my brain to take control of my body.
^ That's all I can think of for now. They sound really silly writing them out in this thread, but at the time they were deadly real, and I was terrified.