Why I Laugh

I laugh because I am a soul born into the wrong body in world full of horrors. The horrors upon horrors. We live in a world where torture is the norm, and love is a distant prize often never got. I laugh because I cannot face the horrors. I cannot simply sit here and be tormented by the world, I try to forget it. The mathematical equation of it is a human being cannot sit there and be tortured 24/7. My mind used to dwell on death damnation and horrors 24/7 as a teen. The more I tried to fight it the worse it got. It was too much of a torment. I cannot bear the torment any further so I laugh. How can I not laugh when there is nothing else to do. Laughing is how I escape the horrors. I refuse to face the horrors full on anymore…I don’t owe them any more pain and suffering. I am innocent and blameless.

War with China seems to be the only option. They are a race which tortures dogs and I cannot bear the thought of dogs souls suffering. I pray to a God I don’t believe in that no souls enter any Chinese dogs. Chinese are evil and cannot be reasoned with. When I think about the downfall of the Chinese I can only laugh. I cannot take the horrors full force because it wounds me too deeply. It is like being caught in the event horizon of a black hole, time slows down and you become caught in a vortex of hell and damnation. I cannot come to terms with how evil humans are, it does not seem real. I do not wish to believe it.

Kelly Jones preaches a kind of acceptance. She preaches to accept the torments because they are all a part of nature, and to hate them would be to hate nature. But are we humans or mere pawns of nature? To be human is to change nature itself. Kelly Jones is a female, of course she would accept those things. To be born male is to be born female, but with an aggressive edge of feeling trapped in the wrong body and wanting to fight and hate evil. Otherwise, what’s the point of being born male if you are just going to accept whatever comes to you and spread love and kindness to the world undiscerningly, like a female? Pacifism and peace is a flawed equation.