dream.

Had a dream I was at a clothing/arts and crafts store. I felt very girly in the dream and a black guy approached me. He was wearing a civilized outfit of the Britons, and not ghetto, so I said Why not. This black guy showed me a book full of sexual imagery made by Nazi artists, some of it was innappropriate, my mother and father was nearby and took a peek at the book, and started taking interest in the paintings, I got sheepish and nervous and explained away all their questions. The black guy took me by the hands and it was clear he was interested in me. I felt awkward and nervous, I was into girls, not dudes, and this black guy was trying to claim ownership of me when he barely even met me. He told me he was a Nazi and then pointed out his outfit, he was wearing a Britsh savanna explorer’s hat but it was white on once side and a different color on the other. He told me each part of his outfit had a special significance. I asked him what it was, and he wouldn’t tell me. This made me angry, he expected me to be his girl but he couldn’t even tell me what the secrets of his outfit was about? Next thing I know he put on 2 foot tall stilts and he was towering over me. He grabbed me by the hand and said “You need to follow your man.” His aura of confidence and authority turned me on and I began to accept that I was comfortable with my fate of being his girl. But there was a side of me that deeply felt vacant and hollow about it. Next thing you know there were two females, who were clearly trying to pass as dudes (They were female - to - male transexuals, the opposite of me.) They were clearly hot females, but their personality was almost the same as a real modern white dude. This turned me on and the hollowness in my spirit I felt suddenly caved in, I felt the entire power of Nature egging me on and telling me to go to these girls and forget the black guy. So I went to these girls, made up some bullshit lies about wanting socks. Then when she started looking for socks and started inquiring about socks, I couldn’t keep up the ruse or think of what to say so I just tried to hug her. But she tried to pull away like she hated the thought of being touched or loved by another human being, like she was a malfunctioning Sherlock Holmes asexual. Next thing you know, I get decked in the side of my face out of the corner of my eye, and it was the black guy. My wig flew off and it was revealed that I was infact male, and that I was the Joker. The punch hurt like hell but there wasn’t any bleeding or bruising, so I had to pretend to be a goodie two shoes because I knew they would all lie on me, say I swung first and molested them first, and I was in not a gaming mood to be sent to jail to be forced to be homosexual any further. I left in a bitter rage, pretending to maintain my composure.

This dream illustrates how I view modernity and my world views in relation to modernity.