I go through bouts of insomnia they can last for weeks. I often, insomnia or not, think and work out the problems that provoke me through the day, and I follow it up the next day… this can usually go for days.
It increases right before a insomnia bout occurs. My brain goes into hyper-overdrive, like a computer burning up… but I dont see the problem I’m working on till towards the end. I drop the ball on a great number things, procrastinate… I can still think, but refuse to focus on very random and mundane tasks… an example, it can occur to me to research a particular philosopher out of the blue, but I won’t complete a essay, reply or email. It can go for days.
Physically, my body starts breaking down… simple walks just four or five miles start killing me and I become dizzy, but when I give up and lay down under a bridge to sleep… it feels that imperative, it doesnt happen. I get very irritable and stumble around… lethargic, dragging myself. I don’t know in such circumstances what propels me foreward or why. I usually do, but it seems unconscious, a beckoning. Everything becomes a confused struggle, and I’m increasingly defeated.
Then a really big idea pops into my head faster than I can put it down. Usually ideas come to me instantly, or little by little. This is a tidal flood. Ideas abd connections flood.
I also note my ability to write and recall words increasingly diminishes the longer it goes. Random music I havent heard for years starts playing in my head… I can never recall lyrics, but during these bouts I can.
Im going to have a miserable next few weeks if I dont solve this problem, and I dont even know what the problem my brain is working on is. I don’t see much cognitive impairment yet.
Im not touching my phone till sunrise, just focus on lucid dreaming. Hopefully I can trick myself into REM sleep.
Oh… Hightened warriness of threats at night, spacially, in real time. I am here, sound over there…