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Heart

PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2016 11:35 pm
by Artimas
What are the most effective ways to heal a heart break? Are there any such methods? Is pain really an illusion? Do any chemicals release when you feel pain?

How is it most people can just ignore a heart break?

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 6:52 am
by WendyDarling
Heartbreaks come in different types. What type is yours?

Could be that most people have always owned a broken heart which they never bothered to fix.

Where have you been Arty?

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 7:14 am
by The Golden Turd
Amnesia does wonders.

Walking in the rain with your head down, sleeping in gutters crying "why me" does too.... but is highly ineffective in terms of getting immediate positive returns and is time consuming. Amnesia gets you instant results.

Image

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t7AUi3CeI6M

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2016 7:40 pm
by Artimas
Maniacal Mongoose wrote:Heartbreaks come in different types. What type is yours?

Could be that most people have always owned a broken heart which they never bothered to fix.

Where have you been Arty?


Just don't find myself enjoying my usual things anymore. So I guess the simplest answer to that would be sitting in the dark.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Tue Jul 19, 2016 6:36 am
by Mictlantecuhtli
Artimas wrote:What are the most effective ways to heal a heart break? Are there any such methods? Is pain really an illusion? Do any chemicals release when you feel pain?

How is it most people can just ignore a heart break?


By finding another woman. Seriously man, in a lifetime you through several breakups. Been there, done that myself.

Just don't dwell on it and spend all of your energy on either finding somebody else or improving yourself. Don't torture yourself on the past.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 9:20 pm
by Artimas
HaHaHa wrote:
Artimas wrote:What are the most effective ways to heal a heart break? Are there any such methods? Is pain really an illusion? Do any chemicals release when you feel pain?

How is it most people can just ignore a heart break?


By finding another woman. Seriously man, in a lifetime you through several breakups. Been there, done that myself.

Just don't dwell on it and spend all of your energy on either finding somebody else or improving yourself. Don't torture yourself on the past.


Seems impossible to find someone that meshes their soul with mine.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 9:51 pm
by Harbal
Artimas wrote:Seems impossible to find someone that meshes their soul with mine.

Well can't you satisfy yourself with just holding hands to start with.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 10:21 pm
by Ultimate Philosophy 1001
How are you going to let a savage biological organism break your heart?

That would be like a cat, or a dog, abandoning me, and then me going through the list of all the possible things that I could have possibly did wrong. It's a fucking animal.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 11:32 pm
by Artimas
Harbal wrote:
Artimas wrote:Seems impossible to find someone that meshes their soul with mine.

Well can't you satisfy yourself with just holding hands to start with.


I could.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2016 11:33 pm
by Artimas
Ultimate Philosophy 1001 wrote:How are you going to let a savage biological organism break your heart?

That would be like a cat, or a dog, abandoning me, and then me going through the list of all the possible things that I could have possibly did wrong. It's a fucking animal.


It's different with another person. It's a waste of time when they decide to leave.. Another year and a half down the drain, more plans wasted, money spent and sacrifices made that never had to be.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2016 6:32 am
by Mictlantecuhtli
Artimas wrote:
HaHaHa wrote:
Artimas wrote:What are the most effective ways to heal a heart break? Are there any such methods? Is pain really an illusion? Do any chemicals release when you feel pain?

How is it most people can just ignore a heart break?


By finding another woman. Seriously man, in a lifetime you through several breakups. Been there, done that myself.

Just don't dwell on it and spend all of your energy on either finding somebody else or improving yourself. Don't torture yourself on the past.


Seems impossible to find someone that meshes their soul with mine.


It does I'm sure but you'll find somebody else. It probably feels like the end of the world but in reality it isn't.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2016 6:34 am
by Mictlantecuhtli
Harbal wrote:
Artimas wrote:Seems impossible to find someone that meshes their soul with mine.

Well can't you satisfy yourself with just holding hands to start with.


For a young man not for very long....

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2016 5:33 pm
by Arcturus Descending
Artimas,


It's a waste of time when they decide to leave.. Another year and a half down the drain, more plans wasted, money spent and sacrifices made that never had to be.


It does seem that way, doesn't it?
But where were you going anyway? You had to be somewhere and your choice was to be with her. Did you have good meaningful moments with her too? You loved her. What was it that Shakespeare (I think) said - that it's better to have loved than lost than not to have loved at all. I know at first it seems too painful to see this as reality but hopefully at some point you will and that can more than start the healing process. Sure, if you're going to discount the positive in order to be angry and suppress the negative, you're healing might be a long time.

Losing a love is like losing someone to death...

The seven emotional stages of grief are usually understood to be shock or disbelief, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and acceptance/hope. Symptoms of grief can be emotional, physical, social, or religious in nature

and sacrifices made that never had to be.

That's hindsight speaking but the reality is that those sacrifices had to be made considering that you loved her. Was there really any other choice?

The only real thing that takes care of the heartbreak (heartcrushing is more like it) is time. In the meantime, it also helps to process what might have gone wrong, I mean, why did it go wrong?
Try to have moments when you can see it from a scientific point of view without anger or pain. You can do that. The more you do that, the more you can become detached from that pain. But don't push it. It has to flow out of you and it will also flow back into you at times. Grief doesn't follow a straight line - it's like a labyrinth but you will eventually find your way out of it.


What are the most effective ways to heal a heart break?


One is also to come to the realization that at some point you will wake up and know that all is well with your world - or right off, realize that you will be fine unless you don't want to be. That's up to you.

Are there any such methods
?
I think that we all have our own methods. But facing reality is important. When I feel the pain, I cry it out. It's a good catharis and it's not the same as wallowing in it. You give yourself a certain amount of minutes in which to do it.


Is pain really an illusion?

Depends on what you mean by illusion. If it helps to know the scientific explanation, go find it.
But if one feels great loss, it's not an illusion. Maybe I'm wrong here but I think that one also has to work with appearances. Maybe Steve can answer that better than me.
Also remember that memories are not the present moments - unless you care to remember the wonderful moments. Appreciation I firmly affirm is balm for grief and loss. Gratitude helps alleviate pain and loss.

Do any chemicals release when you feel pain?

Probably but there are good chemicals too. I like to walk, walk walk - just get those endorphins going. Get an Alvin & the ChipmunksCD - those little guys have me laughi through my tears. Get their movies. Laughter is healing. It's all a process.

How is it most people can just ignore a heart break?

Because they're stupid. In the long run, the body doesn't really ignore anything. There's the body/mind connection. They will feel it in other ways by repressing and suppressing.
Allow yourself to experience the pain but without becoming masochistic about it. Balance.

Just realize that it is still a beautiful world out there even though you may not be able to experience or sensate it at these moments but there can be moments creeping in when you do. Remember those moments and wait for the next ones.

Hang out with your friends too.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2016 5:37 pm
by Ultimate Philosophy 1001
How is it most people can just ignore a heart break?

Because they're stupid.


Such an ignorant thing to say. After having dozens upon dozens of endless and unceasing heartbreaks, maybe an individual just decides to cut their losses and ignore it - damage control.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2016 6:26 pm
by Arcturus Descending
Perhaps I might have said because it's a stupid thing to do.

But if I keep making the same mistakes, and doing the same things over and over again with the same results, I would call myself stupid.

And isn't that one of the definitions of insanity- expecting the same results after doing the same thing over and over again.

What is it that Forest Gump said - stupid is as stupid does.

maybe an individual just decides to cut their losses and ignore it - damage control.


Damage control? Where is the damage control?
As a matter of fact, it was probably in ignoring it in the first place, which caused all of the heartbreaks.

People do that all of the time. In order to ignore the pain, to not feel it, they rebound.
The man or woman who soooooooooooo loves their other, where are they? In the bars looking for that "special" someone to help them forget about that other "special" someone.

That IS stupid!

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2016 8:06 pm
by Ultimate Philosophy 1001
Arcturus Descending wrote:Perhaps I might have said because it's a stupid thing to do.

But if I keep making the same mistakes, and doing the same things over and over again with the same results, I would call myself stupid.

And isn't that one of the definitions of insanity- expecting the same results after doing the same thing over and over again.


How do you know they did the same thing over and over? Ever watch Looney Tunes?
It's like when the character tries all sorts of methods and techniques, yet each time is met with a new and unique failure no matter what they do or how much they try to outsmart their fate - a cosmic joke.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2016 8:52 pm
by One Liner
Everything in your life is the best thing that ever happened to you (it's that simple).

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2016 2:52 pm
by Arcturus Descending
One Liner wrote:Everything in your life is the best thing that ever happened to you (it's that simple).


No, it isn't.

So,
developing cancer from smoking
Having a child die
Losing a limb
Texting while driving, crashing your car and putting yourself in a coma for five years
Or, texting while driving, killing another human being because of that, being sued and losing everything you have in the world
Having the dog you've loved and cared for for many hears being hit by a car and dying because of your own stupidity
Losing your job because you have no good work ethic and still looking for another one three years later
Your house going up in flames and your family and yourself barely getting out alive - and you let your fire insurance lapse and you have absolutely no money in the bank

ad continuum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


The word which comes to me with your one liner is simpleton - not simple or simplicity.
I'm not calling you a simpleton.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 3:53 am
by Warlock
Artimas wrote:What are the most effective ways to heal a heart break? Are there any such methods? Is pain really an illusion? Do any chemicals release when you feel pain?

How is it most people can just ignore a heart break?


Acceptance of reality. The shedding of your ideologies that force you to have a disconnected view of reality.

We've been conditioned in a way that warps our biology, i.e. the perspective of love. Biologically, love exists for a distinct purpose. Socially, we have perverted this purpose. Instead of accepting that love helps us procreate, we've been manipulated into seeing love as a path of happiness. This is so ingrained into our minds that we see it as vital to our ability to be happy/content/fulfilled... the irony is that happiness/contentment/fulfillment actually lies within us.

We use love as one way to validate our self-worth. When we're rejected, it has the opposite affect, we feel less valuable as a being (like we're lacking something). This is what you're experiencing when you have your heart "broken". If you accept yourself, as you currently exist, without thinking that you're incomplete in some manner or lacking some core component... you would not be suffering these harmful emotions and/or doubts.

As for the regrets, it's the same underlying issue, failure to accept reality as it is... rather than how you wish it to be. The time, the effort, the resources... all spent living life and experiencing it for what it is and what it isn't. Your perspective is what makes these things a positive or negative experience.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:03 am
by Meno_
Logic and aesthetics in combination does cure a broken heart.

Don't ask me to go into detail, but if the two disciples mesh, the flaws will become seen as a deceptive and forlorn self punishment. It is that simple. However the appearent simplicity masks the years of not being able to reduce it as such.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 8:41 am
by One Liner
Arcturus Descending wrote:
One Liner wrote:Everything in your life is the best thing that ever happened to you (it's that simple).


No, it isn't.

So,
developing cancer from smoking
Having a child die
Losing a limb
Texting while driving, crashing your car and putting yourself in a coma for five years
Or, texting while driving, killing another human being because of that, being sued and losing everything you have in the world
Having the dog you've loved and cared for for many hears being hit by a car and dying because of your own stupidity
Losing your job because you have no good work ethic and still looking for another one three years later
Your house going up in flames and your family and yourself barely getting out alive - and you let your fire insurance lapse and you have absolutely no money in the bank

ad continuum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


The word which comes to me with your one liner is simpleton - not simple or simplicity.
I'm not calling you a simpleton.

Yes, if these things happened then all of these things are the best things that happened to you.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 3:09 pm
by Arcturus Descending
One Liner wrote:
Arcturus Descending wrote:
One Liner wrote:Everything in your life is the best thing that ever happened to you (it's that simple).


No, it isn't.

So,
developing cancer from smoking
Having a child die
Losing a limb
Texting while driving, crashing your car and putting yourself in a coma for five years
Or, texting while driving, killing another human being because of that, being sued and losing everything you have in the world
Having the dog you've loved and cared for for many hears being hit by a car and dying because of your own stupidity
Losing your job because you have no good work ethic and still looking for another one three years later
Your house going up in flames and your family and yourself barely getting out alive - and you let your fire insurance lapse and you have absolutely no money in the bank

ad continuum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


The word which comes to me with your one liner is simpleton - not simple or simplicity.
I'm not calling you a simpleton.

Yes, if these things happened then all of these things are the best things that happened to you.


Only if you live a life in perfect denial and/or believe in a puppeteer God who you will love no matter what, without question.

There was a time when I felt that the concept of amor fati was a beautiful one...but perhaps I had not taken my thinking far enough...

I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who makes things beautiful. Amor fati: let that be my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation. And all in all and on the whole: some day I wish to be only a Yes-sayer.

It is important to note that Nietzsche in this context refers to the "Yes-sayer", not in a political or social sense, but as a person who is capable of uncompromising acceptance of reality per se.

My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it—all idealism is mendacity in the face of what is necessary—but love it.


At some point in our lives, there might come a time when we would have to come to accept the above list thing[s] which I mentioned in order to save our sanity and live again but that doesn't mean that we would "see" these things as the BEST things which happened or come to love them..even if some good eventually occurred; for instance, having another child. That's taking it to far...at least for me.

Your attitude for me appears to be more than a bit fatalistic but I may be wrong.

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 6:18 pm
by Harbal
Arcturus Descending wrote: amor fati

Is that some sort of obesity fetish?

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2016 6:25 pm
by Arcturus Descending
Harbal wrote:
Arcturus Descending wrote: amor fati

Is that some sort of obesity fetish?


:lol:
Only if it's taken too far. :evilfun:

Re: Heart

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2016 1:50 pm
by One Liner
They are the best things that happened to us because there is no other things that happened to us (accept it or die miserable).