I am offended by the Sexism in my own dreams!

I was at church, praising the Lord, with many wonderful and musical of instruments. Slowly but surely, the church morphed into a beautiful and wondrous hotel, surrounded with old ladies. I was tasked to perform as the chief entertainer for the 4th of July circus. I shopped around for fireworks, found some quarter sticks of dynamite for 3 dollars, my mom advised against it but I ignored her and bought them anyway. Quickly lit the fuse, wasn’t sure it was lit so I threw it quickly to the floor. Ran about 30 feet away and covered my ears. Heard BOOM BOOM BOOM, it was exhilarating, like all of my wildest videogame dreams had come true and I was witnessing the explosion of the boss ships. Then some feminist in the hallway yelled “Bastard” in indignance to the fact that quarter sticks of dynamite were being used…then a couple of 4 year old girls were not running away from the dynamite, but to the continuously exploding dynamite…and their mother’s tried to pull them away but were too weak to pull the 4 year old girls away, the 4 year olds were crying and kept running closer and closer to the dynamite, in a panic. Soon as the dynamite was over I ran away as quickly as I could to escape the angry feminists.

  1. Why are my dreams so sexist…why are little girls portrayed as running to the dynamite, and not away from it?
  2. Why do my dreams portray women as goodie two-shoes, party-pooper’s, and rule enforcers?
  3. This offends me deeply.

The second dream I had may be of interest to someone in the forums known as Laughing Man. There was this wonderful, dingy dark building full of poop and dildos, and it strangely, felt comfortable to be in. The Joker was there, and superimposed was footage of this game called Batman: Arkham Knight. There was a butch lesbian in there, the only person in the building. She was playing Arkham Knight in single player, alone with her poop and dildos. The Joker was going around on a train tracks, banging his head on pots and pans and contorting his body. He was trying to convince her to pay him five dollars so he could configure the multiplayer components of Arkham Knight on her PC. 5 dollars was too much for her, so Joker had to sell his salespitch in ever more convoluted and convincing ways.


You clearly need a dream psychologist that specializes in treating the political incorrectness of your own thoughts followed by being prescribed some hardcore narcotic medications. My advice does not come free and I will bill you in the morning.

I think you are trying to tell yourself to stop going to church.

Thankyou for this quality advice, you are a hardworking man, went to college for a long time and you deserve every cent of my hard earned money.

Tomorrow I will pay 200 dollars for a 1 hour therapy session, so I can share my business with a total stranger, who will fix all my problems with positive words.

Nice how dreams tend to clear things up.