Your feelings are real. When you feel miserable, you are miserable. When you feel good, you are good.
For example, if you commit suicide and go to Hell, the demons will say to you “Look at this whiny pathetic little human. He had it so good on Earth. And he wasted his blessings and killed himself!”
They will try to make you feel uncomfortable, as if “your feelings aren’t real”, because Hell seems slightly worse than Earth life.
But I say your feelings ARE REAL. You were miserable when you were on Earth! You committed suicide!
It’s simply this … the grass looks greener on the other side. Often times, parents send depressed kids to ghettos to make them “appreciate their blessings.” This gives them a temporary boost, a boost of pride, and what I call a “cliff boost”, the strange feeling of vertigo that increase your awe and vigor for life.
After a while this fades and you return to your ennui.
Bottom line, your feelings are real. Rich kids are miserable, and ghetto kids are miserable. Occassionally a rich kid will feel blessed and appreciative when he is exposed to the ghetto environment, and the ghetto kid will feel blessed and appreciative when he lives a few days as a rich kid.
It is the brief switching of environments which causes their happiness. This only lasts for a few days. Regardless of their situation, once they adapt to the humdrum of their environment, they will become miserable. Your feelings are real. Do not doubt your past feelings, just because of a change in your life. The grass always looks greener on the other side. Wisdom comes when you see that their grass, and all grass, is largely mediocre. The only true magic, true grass, is friendship. It’s not a case of “coulda woulda dona shoulda.” You do what you’ve done.