How to Respond

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How to Respond

Postby anon » Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:20 am

On another forum it's dawned on me that someone I occasionally interact with may have some fairly serious mental health issues. She is extremely intelligent, but may even be schizophrenic or something. I don't know, maybe I've got the wrong disease. Anyway, it's caught me by surprise.

Any advice on how to help? Just be nice and know that's really all I can do? She promotes some very unhealthy ideas, so I feel some sense of responsibility not just for her, but for those she may be negatively affecting. I feel quite sad and powerless...
"Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for our miseries, and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries." - Blaise Pascal

"The bombs we plant in each other are ticking away." - Edward Yang

"To a fly that likes the smell of putrid / Meat the fragrance of sandalwood is foul. / Beings who discard Nirvana / Covet coarse Samsara's realm." - Saraha
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Re: How to Respond

Postby Mr Reasonable » Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:11 am

Just keep acting like everything is fine until it's undeniable, then maybe say something.
You see...a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down they want some too.

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Re: How to Respond

Postby James S Saint » Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:19 am

anon wrote:On another forum it's dawned on me that someone I occasionally interact with may have some fairly serious mental health issues. She is extremely intelligent, but may even be schizophrenic or something. I don't know, maybe I've got the wrong disease. Anyway, it's caught me by surprise.

Any advice on how to help? Just be nice and know that's really all I can do? She promotes some very unhealthy ideas, so I feel some sense of responsibility not just for her, but for those she may be negatively affecting. I feel quite sad and powerless...

Be of good humor and supportive even in disagreement of the ideas that you think are bad. Gently suggest what you believe are good ideas that would compensate for the bad. Be honest but certainly not judgmental. Other than that, diagnosing and treating ailments of that nature is not your field of expertise, especially online. Armchair presumptuous guesswork is as likely to do as much harm as good, such as talking about it behind her back thinking that she won't know or suspect and even inadvertently causing the wrong "she" to believe you are talking about her. It isn't something to play with. If you have contacts in the field who you respect, perhaps suggest them to her.. privately. Your safe options are very limited.

In short, be nice and sincere, but leave it alone.
Clarify, Verify, Instill, and Reinforce the Perception of Hopes and Threats unto Anentropic Harmony :)
Else
From THIS age of sleep, Homo-sapien shall never awake.

The Wise gather together to help one another in EVERY aspect of living.

You are always more insecure than you think, just not by what you think.
The only absolute certainty is formed by the absolute lack of alternatives.
It is not merely "do what works", but "to accomplish what purpose in what time frame at what cost".
As long as the authority is secretive, the population will be subjugated.

Amid the lack of certainty, put faith in the wiser to believe.
Devil's Motto: Make it look good, safe, innocent, and wise.. until it is too late to choose otherwise.

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.
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Re: How to Respond

Postby Simms » Tue Apr 01, 2014 10:11 am

anon wrote:On another forum it's dawned on me that someone I occasionally interact with may have some fairly serious mental health issues. She is extremely intelligent, but may even be schizophrenic or something. I don't know, maybe I've got the wrong disease. Anyway, it's caught me by surprise.

Any advice on how to help? Just be nice and know that's really all I can do? She promotes some very unhealthy ideas, so I feel some sense of responsibility not just for her, but for those she may be negatively affecting. I feel quite sad and powerless...

I am not sure about your background, profession or training. But...
Firstly, learn about the illness and learn about the appropriate language regarding the illness.
Secondly, research the recovery model of mental health (especially the elements of recovery)
This is a start http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recovery_approach
Then, thirdly, accept that: you are not in a position to diagnose, you are powerless to help, and possibility she may not want your help (online is not the appropriate forum for this).
Finally, treat her like you would anyone else --- with kindness, with compassion, and engage in appropriate conversations.

This is a great video to watch:
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Re: How to Respond

Postby anon » Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:01 pm

Thanks everyone. Simms, I'll try to find some time to watch that video at some point.
"Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for our miseries, and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries." - Blaise Pascal

"The bombs we plant in each other are ticking away." - Edward Yang

"To a fly that likes the smell of putrid / Meat the fragrance of sandalwood is foul. / Beings who discard Nirvana / Covet coarse Samsara's realm." - Saraha
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Re: How to Respond

Postby Simms » Fri Apr 04, 2014 7:38 am

anon wrote:Thanks everyone. Simms, I'll try to find some time to watch that video at some point.

No need to watch it. Good luck and I hope you find your own answers amongst this.
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Re: How to Respond

Postby Bob » Sat Apr 05, 2014 1:15 pm

James S Saint wrote:In short, be nice and sincere, but leave it alone.

Very much your opinion ...
The only wisdom we can hope to acquire
Is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless.
TS Eliot
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Re: How to Respond

Postby Arcturus Descending » Sat Apr 05, 2014 3:05 pm

anon wrote:On another forum it's dawned on me that someone I occasionally interact with may have some fairly serious mental health issues. She is extremely intelligent, but may even be schizophrenic or something. I don't know, maybe I've got the wrong disease. Anyway, it's caught me by surprise.

Any advice on how to help? Just be nice and know that's really all I can do? She promotes some very unhealthy ideas, so I feel some sense of responsibility not just for her, but for those she may be negatively affecting. I feel quite sad and powerless...

If you've only known her for a short period of time and only "occasionally" interact with her, anon, I would keep things just as simple as you can. Unless she's actually become a really good friend of yours and you and her have become non-sexually intimate/close, and you trust one another a great deal, (which is not the way you portray the acquaintance) why would you feel a sense of responsibility for her or even for those she may negatively affect?

That may sound cruel but remember that "hell is paved with good intentions". Compassion is a great thing but unless you know for a fact that you can help her and not make things worst and not open pandora's box, my perspective is that I think it's best to just continue to be present to her in a casual way. Perhaps the fact that you feel sad and powerless shows that you may be beginning to invest more energy and thought in her than might be a good thing. Sometimes we reach out for 'causes' within our lives but we also have to ask ourselves: "Whose cause are we really reaching out for" ? I don't mean to offend, anon, only to give you something to think about. You did ask. lol
“How can a bird that is born for joy
Sit in a cage and sing?”
― William Blake


“Little Fly
Thy summers play,
My thoughtless hand
Has brush'd away.

Am not I
A fly like thee?
Or art not thou
A man like me?

For I dance
And drink & sing:
Till some blind hand
Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life
And strength & breath:
And the want
Of thought is death;

Then am I
A happy fly,
If I live,
Or if I die”
― William Blake, Songs of Innocence and of Experience


“No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.”
― William Blake
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Re: How to Respond

Postby anon » Sat Apr 05, 2014 9:01 pm

Arc, I feel a sense of responsibility in every situation I find myself in. That doesn't mean I always think I can or have to do something.
"Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for our miseries, and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries." - Blaise Pascal

"The bombs we plant in each other are ticking away." - Edward Yang

"To a fly that likes the smell of putrid / Meat the fragrance of sandalwood is foul. / Beings who discard Nirvana / Covet coarse Samsara's realm." - Saraha
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Re: How to Respond

Postby Arcturus Descending » Sat Apr 05, 2014 9:16 pm

anon wrote:Arc, I feel a sense of responsibility in every situation I find myself in. That doesn't mean I always think I can or have to do something.

well, I am glad to hear that. Sometimes we have to be more discriminate - that's love too in action or love in non-action.

My eyes just happened to see your quote by Pascal. It rings true.
“How can a bird that is born for joy
Sit in a cage and sing?”
― William Blake


“Little Fly
Thy summers play,
My thoughtless hand
Has brush'd away.

Am not I
A fly like thee?
Or art not thou
A man like me?

For I dance
And drink & sing:
Till some blind hand
Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life
And strength & breath:
And the want
Of thought is death;

Then am I
A happy fly,
If I live,
Or if I die”
― William Blake, Songs of Innocence and of Experience


“No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.”
― William Blake
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Re: How to Respond

Postby Moreno » Tue Apr 08, 2014 5:52 am

anon wrote:On another forum it's dawned on me that someone I occasionally interact with may have some fairly serious mental health issues. She is extremely intelligent, but may even be schizophrenic or something. I don't know, maybe I've got the wrong disease. Anyway, it's caught me by surprise.

Any advice on how to help? Just be nice and know that's really all I can do? She promotes some very unhealthy ideas, so I feel some sense of responsibility not just for her, but for those she may be negatively affecting. I feel quite sad and powerless...
It seems to me responding to the ideas with your own views is the best response. If you are truly worried about her mental Health you could PM her, but without any guesses as to her diagnosis. I Think the odds are low this will do any good in any direct causal sense, though it might be a good thing for you to do. But these are separate issues. Mentally healthy or at least not likely to be diagnosed people can have horrible ideas also, so I would focus on the ideas. She would be getting feedback about her mind's productions which is feedback about her mind if you do this.
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Re: How to Respond

Postby anon » Tue Apr 08, 2014 7:13 pm

Thanks Moreno. Wise words.
"Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for our miseries, and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries." - Blaise Pascal

"The bombs we plant in each other are ticking away." - Edward Yang

"To a fly that likes the smell of putrid / Meat the fragrance of sandalwood is foul. / Beings who discard Nirvana / Covet coarse Samsara's realm." - Saraha
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