Men who are womanizers

The origins of the imperative, "know thyself", are lost in the sands of time, but the age-old examination of human consciousness continues here.

Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby zinnat » Fri Nov 29, 2013 7:43 pm

Blurry wrote:
zinnat13 wrote:Smears,

Please do not take it otherwise. I am quite serious with this conversation of ours.

Smears wrote:25 to 60 is fine. I like it because it feels good on my penis.


OK. At last, you answered one why.

So, the next question is why it feels good on your penis?

with love,
sanjay


http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/h ... rgasm1.htm


Sorry Blurry,

This questioning is specifically for Smears.
Though, he has the liberty to repeat you answer as well.
I want to hear his version.

with love,
sanjay
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Mr Reasonable » Fri Nov 29, 2013 7:45 pm

I answered above.
You see...a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down they want some too.

What exactly is logic? -Magnus Anderson

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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Arcturus Descending » Fri Nov 29, 2013 8:27 pm

Pandora wrote:What causes men to become womanizers? Is it just a form of inflated masculinity/chauvinism, where the man sees female sex as inferior, to be used and manipulated as an object, thus giving him a (male) ego boost? There are also theories concerning father/mother past issues, but which one is it? Some say the absence of father figure causes a man to be unsure of his identity as a man (which causes him to seek external validation), and some theories point to a lack of mother's love. What need are womanizers are trying to satisfy and how did that need get there in the first place?

Aside from those which you said, it may be a bit simplistic here but one reason may be because he so loves his mommy that it's an unconscious need to NOT be committed to any one woman.
Also, I think there are women, mothers, who are also to blame. On the other side of your coin of a lack of mother's love, there is the man who was raised by a pampering needy woman who put her whole sexuality into raising him to feel that he is the most important thing in the universe. Thus, he acts accordingly.
A womanizer may also be a man who feels extremely lonely and incomcomplete and unable to live from his emptiness so he is forever trying to fill that deep hole within him. Little does he know that in running from that, he creates a hole which is too large to ever get away from and he must fill and refill that with women. Yet despite the many women who are within that "hole", the womanizer is always alone. Sadly, as a child, something most valuable to his core and psyche was not given to him. I suppose that it is not like this with every child who grows into a womanizer, but then there are probably other aspects to this one particular kind of womanizer. This is one who we can feel compassion for and one who can be saved. :)
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby gib » Fri Nov 29, 2013 9:26 pm

Pandora wrote:What causes men to become womanizers? Is it just a form of inflated masculinity/chauvinism, where the man sees female sex as inferior, to be used and manipulated as an object, thus giving him a (male) ego boost? There are also theories concerning father/mother past issues, but which one is it? Some say the absence of father figure causes a man to be unsure of his identity as a man (which causes him to seek external validation), and some theories point to a lack of mother's love. What need are womanizers are trying to satisfy and how did that need get there in the first place?


Sorry to other posters who may have addressed this already (I read the OP, skipped the middle, and read Arc's last post). When you're slacking off at work, you don't have time! :lol:

I think we need to define "womanizer"--to me, that's a man who manipulates women into sleeping with him (compare this to a man who sleeps around with a lot of women but does so while being honest and upfront and making sure there is mutual consent).

That said, I think what makes a womanizer is just selfishness--a disregard for the feelings and humanity of others (or at least the women he sleeps with), or perhaps an overly inflated sense of confidence that he can spare hurting her feelings or making her feel used with his master-mind intelligence and manipulative abilities.
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Innovice » Fri Nov 29, 2013 9:54 pm

Pandora wrote:
incorrect wrote:i want sex but not bullshit

What do you mean by 'bullshit'?


i don't think i can enumerate everything that can be encapsulated by 'bullshit', but Smears' answer is included

here's some examples:

tests -> bullshit
tests you pass but still don't get sex -> bullshit
sex used as a bartering chip -> bullshit
sex used a a 'reward' for good behavior -> bullshit
promises of sex that never happen -> bullshit
sex that never happens -> bullshit
saying you want something, i don't do it, you complain, i don't get sex -> bullshit
saying you want something, i do it, you still complain, i don't get sex -> bullshit
saying you want something, i do it, you don't complain, i don't get sex -> bullshit
saying you want something, i don't do it, you don't complain, i don't get sex -> bullshit
you trying to make me jealous -> bullshit
me going hours, days, weeks, out of my way to give you the romance you want and deserve, and not getting sex -> bullshit
you being more attracted to my bullshit than my honesty -> bullshit
me telling you the truth because you say its what you want, and then you are upset -> bullshit
subtle hints at what you want -> bullshit
really fucking obvious hints at what you want -> bullshit
thinking i can read your mind for whatever reason -> bullshit
heavy flirting to the point of sexual tension but climax is denied -> bullshit
you not understanding that a man's desire to sleep with you all the time doesn't mean he 'only' interested in sex -> bullshit
not being honest and sincere in a relationship -> bullshit
you hypocritically doing anything/everything you can criticize a man for doing in a relationship that drives you nuts -> bullshit
playing both ends of the feminism spectrum (wanting equal treatment at sometimes, then playing "oh poor me i'm a woman" at others) -> bullshit
playing men against each other for your enjoyment -> bullshit
playing men against each other for you to pick your favorite -> bullshit
playing men against each other as some test -> bullshit
attaching sex to winning some meaningless competition -> bullshit
picking pointless arguments with random people to solicit your man defending you -> bullshit
doing something immoral to begin with in order to judge a man's reaction -> bullshit
you ceasing to shut the fuck up about shit that doesn't matter -> bullshit
playing hard to get after you have been "obtained" (for lack of a better word) -> bullshit
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Mr Reasonable » Fri Nov 29, 2013 10:10 pm

Incorrect, youre a hero.
You see...a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down they want some too.

What exactly is logic? -Magnus Anderson

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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Helandhighwater » Fri Nov 29, 2013 10:12 pm

Smears wrote:Incorrect, youre a hero.


And you're full of shit. ;) :P

he forgot sex used as a weapon of course and BDSM, and the most obvious ones women only compete with other women, set a thief et al and a few others which are also bs. O:)

the fact is if a women does not want to sleep with me by definition she is a lesbian. Fact. ;)
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Pandora » Sat Nov 30, 2013 4:53 am

Smears wrote:Maybe he means he doesn't want to have to fight through another person's psychological issues in order to have a good feeling on his penis.

Okay. I admit that most men are not as forthcoming in expressing and sharing their feelings, something that maybe more important to women.
(that doesn't mean men don't have ANY feelings)

Arcturus Descending wrote:Aside from those which you said, it may be a bit simplistic here but one reason may be because he so loves his mommy that it's an unconscious need to NOT be committed to any one woman.
Also, I think there are women, mothers, who are also to blame. On the other side of your coin of a lack of mother's love, there is the man who was raised by a pampering needy woman who put her whole sexuality into raising him to feel that he is the most important thing in the universe. Thus, he acts accordingly.
A womanizer may also be a man who feels extremely lonely and incomcomplete and unable to live from his emptiness so he is forever trying to fill that deep hole within him. Little does he know that in running from that, he creates a hole which is too large to ever get away from and he must fill and refill that with women. Yet despite the many women who are within that "hole", the womanizer is always alone. Sadly, as a child, something most valuable to his core and psyche was not given to him. I suppose that it is not like this with every child who grows into a womanizer, but then there are probably other aspects to this one particular kind of womanizer. This is one who we can feel compassion for and one who can be saved. :)


Thank you, arc. I was thinking the answer may lie somewhere along these lines, as I believe that children's early experiences with primary caregivers (role models) are likely to have a strong and invisible influence on their adult behavior patterns. However, to be on a conservative side, it may require years of experience in dealing with people to be even somewhat confident in this analysis, perhaps someone like a therapist/counselor, who over the years, may be able to see certain patterns. Psychological studies/research (at least over decades long) on the causes of this behavior may also shed some light. There may also be a need to consider cultural differences/expectations of gender roles. In any case, I think it would be worthwhile to look into this type of research.

gib wrote:I think we need to define "womanizer"--to me, that's a man who manipulates women into sleeping with him (compare this to a man who sleeps around with a lot of women but does so while being honest and upfront and making sure there is mutual consent).
By 'womanizer' I meant those who use charm and deception to hook and drag a woman along - the players, the Casanovas, the machos, the lady-killers, etc. Those types. The pretenders.

incorrect wrote:you being more attracted to my bullshit than my honesty -> bullshit


Obviously men and women have different needs. But this is where lies and deception come in (or 'the game' as all you playas call it). Men want sex. Women want a relationship based on emotional reciprocity/involvement. You can't really lie in sex: once you have sex you know you've had sex. But it's different when a man peddles 'bullshit' as real feelings. It's not a fair trade, even if it is 'presented' as one in exchange for sex. If you want just sex, without the bullshit, then buy it from a prostitute.
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby gib » Sat Nov 30, 2013 5:17 am

Pandora wrote:By 'womanizer' I meant those who use charm and deception to hook and drag a woman along - the players, the Casanovas, the machos, the lady-killers, etc. Those types. The pretenders.


Deception and pretending? Yes. Charm? I don't know about that. What if the guy's just charming by nature?
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby commentary » Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:19 am

gib wrote:
Pandora wrote:By 'womanizer' I meant those who use charm and deception to hook and drag a woman along - the players, the Casanovas, the machos, the lady-killers, etc. Those types. The pretenders.


Deception and pretending? Yes. Charm? I don't know about that. What if the guy's just charming by nature?


I've been called charming my whole life. Just the other day, an 80 year old lady said to me, "I bet you see the whole world of all of us with those eyes of yours.", second time I'd ever met her, to this day she smiles and talks me up everytime I cross her path. The thing I try to explain about women, is that charm, beauty, intelligence.. meaningless, aggression, meaningful. Once you understand that, you understand a very large and important part of what's going on here. I once had a native american woman walk up to me and say, "I feel like I need to tell you this, I have never been attracted to a white man my entire life ( I was young at the time and she was much older), but there is something different about you, you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." and then walked away. (although, technically, I'm 1/16th Cherokee). I've had a life filled with bizarre stuff like this. But oddly enough, not much sex, because I know the rules of what men are supposed to do to make the world a better place and I abide by them.
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Innovice » Sat Nov 30, 2013 8:19 am

Pandora wrote:But it's different when a man peddles 'bullshit' as real feelings. It's not a fair trade, even if it is 'presented' as one in exchange for sex. If you want just sex, without the bullshit, then buy it from a prostitute.


Pandora wrote:It's not a fair trade, even if it is 'presented' as one in exchange for sex.
.

My response:

incorrect wrote:sex used as a bartering chip -> bullshit


I agree that it isn't a fair trade, but... god damn in my idealistic romanticized mind, sex shouldn't be something you trade.



Pandora wrote: If you want just sex, without the bullshit,


My response:

incorrect wrote:you not understanding that a man's desire to sleep with you all the time doesn't mean he 'only' interested in sex -> bullshit


I can't speak for all men but i don't just want sex, but I at least want sex. Lots of other things I want too, like faithfulness, honesty, compassion, excitement, passion, creativity, .... perhaps another list that I can't completely enumerate.


_________


It sucks to have to do this, but after seeing a pattern of women who prefer to fuck your bullshit rather than your honesty, what else is a man to do? Are women all this gullible? Buying it from a prostitute sounds like an easy answer, but that's illegal and frankly dirty (in my mind).. I hope I'm not the only man who is generally disinterested in women who sleep around. To me, faithfulness is incredibly important, almost as important as "will you fuck me".

__________

Frequent orgasms are important to men... for some, important enough to LIE for them when HONESTY does [may] not work as well and/or ceases to be an effective tool for maintaining desired frequency of orgasms

______

BTW if you have any more suggestions about how I can get more sex with less bullshit, I'm all ears...

let me add to the list:

prostitutes -> bullshit
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Innovice » Sat Nov 30, 2013 8:34 am

Women want a relationship based on emotional reciprocity/involvement.


I will give this to you immediately, and you won't fuck me for it - in fact, you'll probably be turned off (not you specifically, just being general about past experiences)

I give you a bunch of bullshit -> More likely to fuck me for it

A relationship with all the emotional reciprocity/involvement + no sex = friendship
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby zinnat » Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:08 pm

Smears wrote:I answered above.


Smears,

That link says that there are some nerves at human sex ograns, which get stimulated and as a result we feel pleasure and orgasm too. That is all.

Are you agree with that?

with love,
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Mr Reasonable » Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:13 pm

Partially.
You see...a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down they want some too.

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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Helandhighwater » Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:15 pm

Sexual selection = natural selection. :-"
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Mr Reasonable » Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:23 pm

I selected this one yesterday helland. She was 30 years old, 5 foot 2 inches, 106 lbs and has 34 D's. Super clean. Manicure/pedicure, salon quality hair, completely hairless from the eyebrows down. An impressive specimen. She's one of those girls who's so hot that she will literally get herself drunk and just listen to music and dance naked in front of a mirror rubbing on herself for hours, only taking breaks to hit the bong or drink another drink. Now here's the funny part...she's a 4th grade school teacher. So when you send your kids to school and you think, "oh that teacher seems like such a sweet young lady", she's probably not. If a girl has a hot body, they usually put it to work for em.
You see...a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down they want some too.

What exactly is logic? -Magnus Anderson

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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby gib » Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:24 pm

Helandhighwater wrote:Sexual selection = natural selection. :-"


No. Darwin explicitly made a distinction between the two.
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...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.
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We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Helandhighwater » Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:34 pm

gib wrote:
Helandhighwater wrote:Sexual selection = natural selection. :-"


No. Darwin explicitly made a distinction between the two.


No he didn't, since they are both the same thing, he didn't say evolution is the survival of the fittest either, Spencer did, and Darwin said he was wrong in reply, "Evolution is not the survival of the fittest it is the survival of those most able to adapt to nature", it has nothing to do with Wall st either. Sexual selection is a survival strategy, it's also natural selection. ;)
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby zinnat » Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:36 pm

Smears wrote:Partially.


Then why you said in your previous post that your answer is the samw as Blurry?

Nevertheless, add what else you want to add to what that link says.

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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Mr Reasonable » Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:38 pm

Didn't two guys back in the day have a big argument about whether we adapted to our environment or whether the environment adapted to us?

I see this shit getting ignored in all the debated that reference evolution. I mean, building a civilization is a pretty big push back against nature.
You see...a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down they want some too.

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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Helandhighwater » Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:40 pm

Smears wrote:Didn't two guys back in the day have a big argument about whether we adapted to our environment or whether the environment adapted to us?

I see this shit getting ignored in all the debated that reference evolution. I mean, building a civilization is a pretty big push back against nature.


"Since everything is natural it's to push this rock."

Sisyphus.;)
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby commentary » Sat Nov 30, 2013 8:13 pm

incorrect wrote:
Women want a relationship based on emotional reciprocity/involvement.


I will give this to you immediately, and you won't fuck me for it - in fact, you'll probably be turned off (not you specifically, just being general about past experiences)

I give you a bunch of bullshit -> More likely to fuck me for it

A relationship with all the emotional reciprocity/involvement + no sex = friendship


This is well said incorrect.. you and smears both talk about this aspect of sexual selection that I haven't raised yet, the lying. Men who offer a genuine presence of reciprocity and involvement (using the terms you're throwing around right now) don't fair very well. It's SO ubiquitous to be the nice guy who doesn't get laid - to end up in the "friendzone". You hit the nail on the head when you said "not only won't you fuck me for it, YOU'LL PROBABLY BE TURNED OFF." I have seen men try to have THIS discussion with women more times than I can count, and the first thing you notice is that when they try to have this discussion, it completely turns women off, in many of the instances I've had such discussions with women, their number one response to it is "Strange, I've had lots of guys tell me the same thing.", what's interesting about trying to open this discussion with women, is that they immediately become uncomfortable and it turns them off. Women have a completely different experience with men to this regard, if a woman says that lack of sex in her life is bothering her, particularly if she's nice, it doesn't turn men off, it turns them on, because men have a tendency to want to use sex to make peoples lives better, particularly if they're nice people. I said somewhere in these threads that women actually FEEL like dirty people for having sex with the right men, while men feel like dirty people for having sex with the wrong women... it's really hard to address an issue like this when the gender FEELS dirty for doing the right thing and is TURNED ON by doing the wrong thing. Male sexuality is not backwards to this extent, men are turned on by non-bullying women and men are turned off by bullying women.

In the few instances a woman has ever feigned to approach me, her first question is usually "What do you do for work?", the odds of a man asking any of these money or status questions to a woman are extremely small. I don't even bother with the work question, I just say, "I don't feel like telling you" and then they usually go away.
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby gib » Sat Nov 30, 2013 10:21 pm

Helandhighwater wrote:
gib wrote:
Helandhighwater wrote:Sexual selection = natural selection. :-"


No. Darwin explicitly made a distinction between the two.


No he didn't, since they are both the same thing, he didn't say evolution is the survival of the fittest either, Spencer did, and Darwin said he was wrong in reply, "Evolution is not the survival of the fittest it is the survival of those most able to adapt to nature", it has nothing to do with Wall st either. Sexual selection is a survival strategy, it's also natural selection. ;)


No, it is not. Natural selection is an environmental force that determines the life or death of an organism. Sexual selection is force coming from one sex (or both) of a species that determines whether an organism's genes will be passed on to the next generation. If an organism is not selected sexually, it can still live to a ripe old age and die of natural causes. Darwin first proposed natural selection as the mechanism by which life evolves. This was in Origin of the Species. In his next book, he proposed sexual selection because he realized at that point that natural selection was not enough to account for why certain genes get passed on and others don't. A gene that is selected for sexually is not necessarily a gene that helps the organism survive in its environment; it's just a gene that is attractive to the opposite sex. Likewise, a gene that is absolutely necessary for survival in an organism's environment will not survive into the next generation if it is not attractive to the opposite sex.
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...we hear about the wage gap, the idea that women are paid significantly less than men--seventy two cents on the dollar--that's absolute shear nonesense--it is absolute nonesense--in 147 out of 150 of the biggest cities in America, women make 8% more money than men do in their peer group. That wage gap is growing, not shrinking.
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We're in a situation now where students can go to university and come out dumber than when they went in. They are infantalized by safe space and trigger warning culture, the idea that interogating a new idea, coming into contact with a school of thought or a person that doesn't conform to your prejudices is somehow problematic, that it gives rise to trauma.
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Fuck your feelings, snowflake
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Moreno » Sun Dec 01, 2013 6:52 am

incorrect wrote:this will probably sound horrible but here it goes

i want sex but not bullshit

sex with the same women means you have to give increasing amounts of bullshit for a constant, or even decreasing amount of sex

switching it up can be an easier path to sex

i'm not a womanizer though, ill just break up with her when the bullshit gets to be too much

I don't Think you know what is actually happening in sex. Most people don't. There is an Exchange. Even if coldly carried out, it is intimate. I do not mean this in the banal sense of Close Contact, but two (or more) people intermix on emotional and other levels along with the physical.

Increasing amounts of bullshit is all the stuff you Think is not really involved, but it is. It is just happening on more unconcsious levels. I Think women feel this and know it more often than men do. Men Think sex is a very complicated newtonian phenomenon. That's insane.
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Re: Men who are womanizers

Postby Innovice » Sun Dec 01, 2013 8:04 am

Moreno wrote:
incorrect wrote:this will probably sound horrible but here it goes

i want sex but not bullshit

sex with the same women means you have to give increasing amounts of bullshit for a constant, or even decreasing amount of sex

switching it up can be an easier path to sex

i'm not a womanizer though, ill just break up with her when the bullshit gets to be too much

I don't Think you know what is actually happening in sex. Most people don't. There is an Exchange. Even if coldly carried out, it is intimate. I do not mean this in the banal sense of Close Contact, but two (or more) people intermix on emotional and other levels along with the physical.

Increasing amounts of bullshit is all the stuff you Think is not really involved, but it is. It is just happening on more unconcsious levels. I Think women feel this and know it more often than men do. Men Think sex is a very complicated newtonian phenomenon. That's insane.


Increasing amounts of bullshit is all the stuff you Think is not really involved, but it is.


I do think it's involved - I really, really think it's involved, moreso for my partner, and while I don't like it per se, I don't mind doing it, as long as I actually get sex. Frequently. It's what men need, Its what I need. 'For better or for worse' right?

I help out with the dishes once for the first time in forever, and you appreciate it. I get laid that night. I do it again, because I care about you, but you expect it. I don't get laid that night. I do it a third time, it turns you off - I'm doing something womanly, repeatedly, albeit to help you, and you don't fuck me. So I stop doing the dishes. You start complaining about me not doing the dishes, and don't fuck me.

this is the bullshit I don't need

if this is the bullshit that is a part of sex at a subconscious level (its not for me), whoop-de-fucking-do... just fuck me frequently regardless of my dish habits, because there's no right answer here

Men Think sex is a very complicated newtonian phenomenon.

Men don't think sex is a complicated newtonian phenomenon. Men just want sex, frequently. Women know this. They exploit this. THIS IS THE BULLSHIT. And womanizing might work better than dealing with this bullshit
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