I would like to read some opinions on this. What do you think of it? It certainly describes some of my friends who are frustrated at finding a partner and are only met with females who keep them around for their own entertainment.
But as a generalization, is this a sharp observation?
It’s obvious that this person himself is one of these sexually frustrated people. But I am disturbed at the way he says, “certain breed of woman.” It’s as if he were identifying the female sex as an object–a mere animal, when that is simply not the case. I don’t see anything wrong with this scenario. You are friends with a woman and she can confide in you. Not all people want to have sex with every single person they see. I think that this author has been repressed and now cannot understand the difference between friendship and ‘to be used.’ Oh well. Comments?
Bravo!! I don’t know who this guy is, but he is the man. I don’t think that he is putting women in down in any way whatsoever. Women know about themselves, that is why they can’t even stand each other. Because they know how they do!
For starters, I have encountered this certain ‘breed’ of women myself. How can I say it in a humble way? I don’t know, but I’m a pimp. So I like to think myself as one. And not pimp as pimp, but pimp as a ladies man. Hence the name Smooth. (I’m a little full of myself, but don’t worry. I won’t turn jjj on all of you.) But it took me a while to learn the ins and outs of the flirting game.
At first every woman that I got involved with would rather have me as a friend than as a boyfriend. Yeah, we already had sexual relations and as a man I’m souppose to play the ‘male-role’ and not care. But I did. What I was looking for was a life companion (granted I was 17-21, but those were my desires). And having a lot of female friends was great, but I didn’t really want to know how over and over these gorgeous and intellegent women were ending up in relationships with ignorant drug dealers (thugs, no bikers in Washington Heights, Manhattan -NYC) who only wanted sex. They would complain that they wanted some one like me, but there I was, single and alone. But they didn’t want to ruin a great friendship.
They would say, “Smooth, show me a magic trick. Smooth, what does that mean? Smooth, what do you think about this, or that?” What the f*ck?
But the problem got solved. I was being too nice. So there you go. I know the feeling of being an intellectual whore, even though I don’t claim being an intellectual. Too me being a nerd, a geek, is the best thing in the world. But I mix it with a personality that people like. Yes I know it is a mask. But damn, we all wear masks.
First of all, I don’t mean this as an attack but why is it that all the women that respond on these intellectual sites respond in the same voice, the same manner and proceed to attack men they see as being illogical or unreasonable in the same cold, calculated robotic quasi-feminist logioco-anaytical way. Its just weird, its like they pumped them out of the factory.
Anyway, I don’t think women are so bad. They are probably the wiser of the sex. Not as much testicular drive to conquer the world but definitely an urge not only to nuture which really only goes so far, but more importantly an urge to protect other people from hurting themselves. I don’t think the women that did not sleep with me in the past did it because I was a disgusting and repulsive sight, I think they were protecting me from themselves because I wasn’t at a point where I could protect myself from them. These things are called “inner defenses” in the words of Hannah Arendt, probably the most brilliant person to ever live, and yes a women.
That said women on the whole are shallow, vain, self-centered, egotistical, mostly out for themselves and their own, nervy, competitive, toughminded, brutally honest, shrewd, cunning, calculating, occasionally thoughtful, sentimental, get hurt easily, live and have to deal with alot of emotional and physical pain. Women are the nurturers, they are the earth, the living embodiment of the goods and bads of the world, thats why we men love them. The man of the world is always a ladies man.
I do not think however that Helen despite her smarts, cunning and slutiness caused the Trojan War. Maybe war turned her on, but I believe the men used her as an excuse to fight. Still she might have been real good in the sack, or good enough to cause one.
Personally I like intelligent guys better than good-looking guys if I have to choose. Brains last even when you’re used to looking at him and guys I have encountered that are my peers tend to either be good-looking, obsessed with looks with mind in undies or intelligent but not necessarilly gorgeous. If I were a guy I’d take it as a complement- smart women want someone who can keep up with them, at least I do.
Oh christ im an intellectual whore!!!
I feel so…used…
Hehe, Its not hard to spot these women, if your in a position where your comfortable conversationally, ask her about her love life and she’ll soon tell you about that other guy.
I am in one such relationship, but it doesnt matter becuase she is my intellectual whore too, we’ve been ‘friends’ for about 6 months now. She herself told me that she does not belive in a guy-girl friendship where there is no physical attraction(that how comfortable we are talking together)
I wonder whats to come of this relationship, I think ill soon find out if were to remain friends(I.E. End up either falling in love with each other or one of us ending up with a broken heart, probably me) or just end it now, either way, both paths lead to pain and sorrow.
I fell into the Intellectual Whore trap again this week and I practically lost the entire week because of it. The realisation that you were just a simple commodity and a source of trivial entertainment is so depressing! Why did I listen to her boring chatter and didn’t just tell her to go bother someone else? Well, I guess the answer is quite simple…
I should really get a tattoo or something that says something like “Drop the intellectual whoring”.
Hm. Intellectual whores (to this guy) are men kept for mental entertainment… 'cause they think they’ll eventually get sex… but only get a girl who wants to talk. And it sounds like she must know that the reason the guy is even providing intellectual services is in hope of a fair trade-off… sexually.
So it’s not that he doesn’t like intellectual stimulation… just not w/ women he /thought/ were going to put out… but never do…? Or does this sort of guy expect sex in return for his intellectual entertaining – and does not engage women in such conversation unless there /is/ the possibility of sex? Why can he conversate w/ men w/o the need for sex – but not w/ women? Does he think women are only good for sex or somethin’? Or is he just resenting that these women think he’s only good for talkin’?
Maybe it’s not that they think he’s only good for talkin’. Maybe it’s that they have boyfriends/husbands who would beat them and him all to hell if the ‘indiscretion’ were discovered – and/or kids they want to raise in a stable environment, and are not looking to replace their father, or can not visualize this man raising their children (so they avoid emotional attachment)? Or maybe if they slept around or emotionally bonded with as much men as they wanted to (and, sex and emotional bond do go together for many women, but not necessarily all), they would have to face social (stigma) consequences (which is one reason some women have a hard time w/ eachother – changing norms for women, different women representing different norms and so they clash, etcetera – I think also it could be competition-related … competing over men … much like some men try to be the best when it comes to impressing elligible women)?
– theoryofexist
They were probably schooled in the same method of argumentation that men were, and are perceived as cold and quasi-feminist because it defies their gender norms of warmth and fragility.
In the light that my friend Dantes’ wife was upset by my previous post in this thread I would like to sort of clarify something to those who might be inclined to reading this. Here is a news flash, I’m human. I am a human male and damn proud of it. And because so I have inherent flaws. Every man does. But it isn’t fair to judge all men and/or women on the actions of all the guys/girls you encounter.
Has it occured to you that you receive what you put out? You will only attract the kind of people that would be attracted to a person like you! Plain and simple.
That post was made something in November of 2003 and I can’t believe those words were typed by my fingers. I don’t retract what I said, below all that resentment there is truth. But I have swayed my thinking in these past few months. Mainly in the idea of finding a good mate.
This message goes out to those younger members of the forum. And it isn’t advice or anything like that. Take it as it is. The grass is always greener.
When you are alone you want someone. When you have someone you want to be alone. When you are single it is hard to find someone. And when you have someone, the line of potential possibilities is endless. That is the way the world works.
There is nothing wrong with a woman using you as an intellectual whore. Why? Because it is your fault that you put yourself in a situation like that. I know, I’ve been there, and done that. And it sucks when you could only sleep with the airheads, but that one little cute ball of fire, that would like to take long walks in the park, and enjoy going to the museum or seeing a Broadway play only wants you as a friend. That they tell you in your damn face that you would make a perfect boyfriend, but they go ahead and get into relationships with utter assholes. It’s your fault and no one elses.
The way I look at it, you need to get what you want. Girls like that want real men. And in the social gender role manner of a real man. Stand up for yourself, stop being a little bitch and tell her how you feel. Don’t sound sappy or like a cornball, just tell her. And end the friendship. That is of course if you love her. But in either case she is leading you on.
Good points.
But in just speaking about single women, I agree that the problem is that these women want to sleep around. And they don’t want to feel guilty about using a guy, or breaking there heart. So they involve themselves with men they know aren’t going to give a damn if they are used for sex. But here you are as a fellow intellectual whore giving your veiws on the complex system of morality that you have given yourself.
In her mind, you are a nice guy. A wonderful person. Why would she use you for sex? You will cry, and get attached to her. Because no matter how much she might like you , and think about you. In reality you are a little bitch and won’t have the balls to use her for sex.
I’m done with it like I told Bill Walton. I like my role as an entertainer of the mind. It doesn’t bug me any more. But before, when getting sex was all that mattered to me, hell yeah it did bug me. But now I’ve realized the error in my ways.
And She, when I go to Phoenix, I’ll entertain your mind allllll niggghhht!!!
Can’t argue with that. Well, I hope I can make it to Phoenix. It’s not lookin’ too good.
Seems there’s three options here (when I say ‘you’ I mean ‘any man who identifies w/ one of the following’):
(From the original link.) You just want sex w/ no messy emotional attachment, the woman has no interest in sex and just wants to use your mind. And that’s a huge bummer, 'cause what else is there, if there’s no sex?
(From me.) The woman has interest in sex, she is fascinated by your mind, but she has, in the words of Jack Johnson, “some other ties”.
(From Smooth.) The woman wants just sex w/ no messy emotional attachment, but you’re looking for a mate, so, while she thinks you’d be great for just-sex, she knows you’ll want more, so she avoids the just-sex and settles for your mind. She knows there is more to appreciate about you than just-sex, although, from her, you want the whole banana (sex and emotion).
– Smooth
So, you once were a player, and now you’re not – now, you want to find (have found) a good mate, so you change your playability into /being/ a good mate (in order to attract/maintain one), right? Do you think the same is true of women who sleep around and sew their wild oats in youth… that they can go on to be considered good mates? Or is there too much social stigma associated w/ women who sleep around?
And what is a good mate, anyway? One who will only have sex w/ you and you alone? Is this definition based on tradition, natural drives, fear/comfortability, what?
It saddens me that a woman can’t associate with a man in any fashion unless she’s going to be prepared to pay her dues for the privilige of knowing his lordship by f*cking him. If I thought all men were like that I would see no alternative to lesbianism. Real men aren’t psychologically mutilated by relizing that men and women can associate on a peer level.
Someone who buys into that misogynistic bullshit belongs in Saudi Arabia where they won’t have to worry about their infantile fear that the universe doesn’t revolve on the axis of their penis. And they won’t have to worry about females as something other than living blow-up dolls.
Their are plenty of sane men with the capacity to know the difference between friendship and sex and that friendship isn’t an all out attack on the sanctity of his reproductive organs. I think this line of thought is a stain on the respectability of men everywhere.
I wouldn’t date the damaged egomaniacle prick that wrote the piece in the link either. He needs to grow up already.
Ok, it’s completely true that men and women can associate as peers. In fact, ladder theory does not say they cannot. It says they cant be close friends.
There’s a difference. Why? The closer they get as friends, the more they let them into the personal aspects of their life. What is more personal than sex? When the topic of sex comes up and comes into play, one of them will be turned on as the emotional attatchment is all that is needed for such to occur. As a result, the friend turns into the potential fuck buddy, and the mood of the relationship is altered.
While you may think it’s not…it IS inevitable. You can cite all sorts of sources from your own personal past, but the question I’d ask is…has any of your heterosexless friends ever talked to you about their sex life? Have you ever talked to your homosexless friend about your sex life? Have you ever talked to your lover about your sexlife?
The answer is either normally no/yes/yes, or yes/yes/yes with the qualification that one of you got turned on or wound up making out.
Sure, you can be PEERS with women. That’s not in question. But…sexual tension prevents you from being too close.
To any man that considers himself honorable and open minded there isn’t. Everything is fifty - fifty! I think that I could look into myself and know what standards I uphold.
Certain things like constant STD / HIV test, which I go regularly, I expect a female to that. A person is a person because of who they become, not what they were. And anyways, a woman sleeping around doesn’t say anything about what kind of mother she will be, how she will care for you, or if she can hold a conversation or not. Only children ask their mates how many partners they have been with.
To tell a personal story… I once fell deep in love. A love like I’ve never felt for a person that wasn’t biologically related to me. The relationship was built on pure communication, understanding and trust.
I loved this woman so much that if she would have wanted to sleep with another man, as long as she told me, it wouldn’t have mattered. Her temporary sexual satisfactin and exploration of her sexuality didn’t step on my ego. It wasn’t important.
We were friends first and foremost. Jealousy and paranoia didn’t come in. Now, being the person she is, she wouldn’t have had sex with another man, but I let her know. Mostly because she wanted to have a menage w/ her bi-sexual friend for my pleasure. Not for hers.
I told her this wasn’t neccessary, and we never did. But it was out on the table.
A good mate is something that I think everyone is going to have to find out for themselves. Different people want and need different things from their mate. I personally need intelligence. And not in the book sense. She needs to have a thirst for knowledge and a willingness to hear the other persons side and judge it against hers. A sense of honor.
It is always bad when a mate goes and has sex with another male. But the worse is the fact that they do it behind your back. To me what matters is the loyalty, on both sides.
In reference to DallasAnn’s post. It all depends on how the male and woman meet. If we meet as friends, there is no reason to continue. But if I’m checking you out at a bar, and I approach you. Do you honestly think I’m taking the risk of getting laughed at so we can be pen pals?
For your information as well, if you are sexually attractive in any form whatsoever, every man from your father, your cousins, to every man on the planet will recognize this feature. It is whether they act on it or not. In their sub-concious they will ponder it. They will feel guilty if they are related to you, and if they are your friend, they will be quiet about their thoughts. But given an oppurtunity, the true nature of males would arise.
Now, if you go to your friend, and no matter what he tries he can’t get sexually stimulated by you, that is a real friend. I know, I have a few female friends that are hot. Really hot. And I know for a fact I won’t have sex with them. Well many times I’ve tested, and I’ve passed. My days of crazy meaningless sex are over. But it isn’t like it would be torture.
It sucks to hear it. And you can get mad at men. But do you want me to lie about it? No. That is just the nature of the beast.
i totally agree with this …and most of what you said. if you’re a guy, do you ever try really hard and spend lots of time having intellectual conversations with an ugly girl? no you don’t. well, maybe if they’re just TOO INTERESTING to not talk to… but generally, you don’t. sometimes you can get on a level where you’re really just “peers”… but if you’re attracted to someone who is your peer and who is of the opposite sex, well that’s obviously (to me, a guy) the recipe for makin’ out. at some point, in the right situation (when alcohol’s involved, actually) shit’s bound to happen.
i have had many of these experiences …this whole concept is just AMAZING!!
