## Does anyone feel different?

The origins of the imperative, "know thyself", are lost in the sands of time, but the age-old examination of human consciousness continues here.

Moderator: MagsJ

### Does anyone feel different?

I sometimes feel so different from everybody else - more pessimistic, more optimistic, different humor, different opinions etc.

I know everybody is different, but I often feel like what I think is completely different to everybody else. I'm not trying to say I'm special, in fact I'm asking this to see if anybody else feels like this from time to time aswel.

For example - I really don't fancy Anna Kournikova OR Kylie Minogue OR J-Lo (although she hassa nice bum) OR er... well you know what I mean!

j0n4th4n

Posts: 120
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2002 2:40 am
Location: Wales

How profound. No, actually, I do know what you mean. I'm having it right now because I'm in the early, brewing stages of one of my tantrums, which often make me feel very different and alone, because I get so angry that I start looking at the world weirdly.

Most of the time I find it quite cool though. I think it would be intrusive if someone else was exactly like you ... if they were, they could probably tell how you were feeling just by looking at you, which I would consider bothersome.

nicola

Posts: 159
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2001 1:00 am
Location: london

So you have a different taste in women. No biggy.
"Only a life lived for others is a life worth while ."

"Its all relative" -JJohnson

Youngman18

Posts: 193
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2002 5:57 am
Location: MIchigan

if they were, they could probably tell how you were feeling just by looking at you, which I would consider bothersome.

Actually I don't think so. We never really see ourselves so we don't know what our facial expressions are and so on.

I do believe that everyone thinks that. But I also believe it to be true. Most thoughts are related to past experiences. No one really knows what you're thinking when you are trying to explain something. You can never really explain fully what you're thinking. There are probably billions of possible forms of the same reasoning and you ended up thinking yours. But I think you're asking more in comparison to the rest of the people. So in that case it would be a question of degree. I think that everyone thinks a unique way but in comparison to other people it would probably end up on the person.
cba1067950
Philosopher

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Location: New York

Youngman18 wrote:So you have a different taste in women. No biggy.

They were just examples. I have different taste in everything and ideas people dont understand.

I FEEL SO ALONE!!!!!!!!

Does anyone else feel like this??
i don't know WHERE i am..

j0n4th4n

Posts: 120
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2002 2:40 am
Location: Wales

So you feel like you are misunderstood?

Thats a sign of greatness!

I feel that I think way to much compared to my friends. They seem for the most part: care free, childish and ordinary. Yet that is how they appear, and apperance is not everything as we know...

everyone has a philosophy on life and yours is different. Your ideas are different. Im not hear to preach or whatever but being different is normal.
"Only a life lived for others is a life worth while ."

"Its all relative" -JJohnson

Youngman18

Posts: 193
Joined: Mon Jul 15, 2002 5:57 am
Location: MIchigan

Jon4th4n,
I believe I know what you feel. Instead of explaining to you my own experiences and how they probably relate to yours, I am going to suggest that you are looking for someone who sympathizes with you so that you no longer feel so alone. To know that someone else is like you or is atleast experiencing the same things as you is a great comfort to many. I also wish to suggest you not look for anyone, in order to find yourself through yourself and not through another. This will make you stronger and it will help you to understand yourself, and more importantly it will help you to love yourself (not in the conceided sense). My theory is that one cannot come to love another without loving themselves first. Just as you cannot come to understand another until you come to understand yourself.
So this feeling of loneliness is for your own good, just make sure to not let the things you do different get to your head and make you believe that you are somehow better or above everyone else - I know some people that had exactly this happen to them. I'm not saying you will, I'm just cautioning.
Thrive, explore, and adapt to this feeling. It's source and reason will reveal itself to you in good time. Remember patients is a virtue that takes a life time to learn. So you better try to get as good a grasp on patients as possible.

Good luck, God Speed, and I wish you well.
~ Magius

Magius
Magnanimous

Posts: 1489
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2002 7:08 am

Youngman - I suppose all of us here in this site are somewhat different, because we think more and things. But also, I agree with you that appearances can be deceptive. I also feel like you that my freinds are more carefree, but Im not sure about more childish. Sometimes I feel more childish.

Thinking about it now its not so much loneliness, but rather the feeling that others are missing out that bothers me. Like I feel that - I know this sounds wrong - other people, or most others are less er, sensitive, less perceptive perhaps, or less apreciative of things than me - simpler..

However Im pretty sure that a lot of this is an illusion. Its only because I cant read other peoples minds that I think like this.

Maybe.

Perhaps people feel embarassed to admit to feeling\thinking like me and thats why they frown and\or laugh when I explain things about things.

Magius - again, I will try and be patient
Last edited by j0n4th4n on Sun Aug 04, 2002 12:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
i don't know WHERE i am..

j0n4th4n

Posts: 120
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2002 2:40 am
Location: Wales

Yeah. I know how you feel. I've spent a lot of time trying to find someone out there who even thought remotely the same way that I do. And after all these years, I've found no one. I've got 2 levels of loneliness. 1 can be cured by the presence of people, and the other just never goes away. I can be in a room of 20 people and feel like I'm the only one there.

I agree with magius. It'll have to be dealt with by yourself. I've given up on finding like minded people.
The only real security in life, is to totally accept the insecurity of life.
nomen nescio

Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2002 2:05 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Dont give up if I were you.

Perhaps you just dont know enough intelligent people...
i don't know WHERE i am..

j0n4th4n

Posts: 120
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2002 2:40 am
Location: Wales

Let the likeness of the minds find themselves instead of you finding them. If you go around anticipating one or another has a mind like your own you will bias yours views and opinions as well as theirs. This very bias will drive you away from like minded individuals. You must put this notion aside and just be yourself, at which point your mind will be most open to itself and the world around it which will also mean that your contemplation and conceptualization will be at it's best, therefore, your attempt at finding a like minded person will increase by a hundred. The same goes for love. Ever noticed that when you are looking for someone to love you can't find anyone or atleast anything resembling your interest? But the minute you stop to be yourself and have fun, in walks a gorgeous like minded gal who brings you into her world of fun.

Magius
Magnanimous

Posts: 1489
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2002 7:08 am

I don't really think that giving up on looking for like minded people is all that bad. What I really want is someone to bounce ideas off and gain their input into all the troubles of mind which I come across. But it seems I'll never find someone who can be even say 60% similar to my way of thinking. I find heaps of people who share 10%, so I guess instead of looking for one person, I'll just get inspiration from many '10%'s" out there. Plus everyday life experience may give me some insight.
The only real security in life, is to totally accept the insecurity of life.
nomen nescio

Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2002 2:05 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Magius - I can find girls I like but they dont find me

Nomen Nescio - Dont worry about stuff. It might not be true.
i don't know WHERE i am..

j0n4th4n

Posts: 120
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2002 2:40 am
Location: Wales

This reminds me of two things I've been thinking about. If we believe that people are so different and that we can't find someone even relatively close to us then how alike are we really? Are we all like this or are there actually a select few that are truely superior to the rest of the world. I mean there's always the factor that we aren't seeing things the same way. So does that mean they have a better grasp on reality than we do no matter how outrageous it sounds to us or does that mean that they are just stupid?

The other was why are people socially so to themselves? I've never had a conversation with anyone in person about anything that I thought mattered. It's always been conversations about other people or making jokes. I wonder if people are afraid to express what they are thinking or if they are just not thinking anything.
cba1067950
Philosopher

Posts: 1409
Joined: Sun Jun 30, 2002 5:24 am
Location: New York

What I really want is someone to bounce ideas off and gain their input into all the troubles of mind which I come across. But it seems I'll never find someone who can be even say 60% similar to my way of thinking.

Yes, but I would argue that that's a good thing. If everyone thought the same way you do, how would you ever be able to be advised by them? You may as well just be asking yourself for advice. If you cannot resolve a problem you face in your own life, it's because - due to the way we think - that the cause of the problem or the solution eludes us. Asking someone else for advice is often the best way to illuminate parts of our lives that we may otherwise overlook. Afterall, it's often easy - thinking like philosophers as we often do - to overlook the simple explanation in favour of the more complex one, which can often lead us down the path of confusion when all we need is some simple guidance.

Also, we have to be careful not to think ourselves as ubermen, or anything resembling that. We may know a bit about philosophy, but that doesn't place us above the large percentage of humanity that hasn't read anything by Nietzsche, Kant or Satre. Be careful not to dismiss ideas or perspectives because they haven't been formed by those who are more philosophically inclined, because often I find - due to the fact that they aren't searching for complex solutions - that these are the most useful.

And if you are seeking a more philosophical answer to your problems, take the advice and examine it, then use it to form your own views. Just be careful not to consider yourself above anyone because you can take O type syllogistic arguments and determine whether the conclusion suitably follows from the premises.

Anyway, I've had a couple of glasses of red wine, so I apologize if this post sounds (i.e. reads) a bit messy.

Thus spoke Zarathustra.
The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.

JP

Posts: 202
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 1:00 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Jon4th4n stated:
Magius - I can find girls I like but they dont find me

You can't know if girls you like haven't found you. Maybe they have found you, but they haven't told you. Moreover, maybe your morality is high (which is good) and you are looking for someone who is close to perfection (for you), this means that you are looking for a rarity - given that you just need to be patient and enjoy life. I think you enjoyment of life will attract the right girl to you. I will also attempt to say that the girls you find are girls you 'think' you like, but when you really get to know them, you don't like them anymore. Maybe you need to re-evaluate your perception of girls that you want to date. This could also mean that girls that have wanted you, but you didn't want them, meant you really did want them but only judged on the first impression and have lost those girls that would be good for you.

Just a thought...

Magius
Magnanimous

Posts: 1489
Joined: Fri Jun 07, 2002 7:08 am

i only skip-read this discussion, so i may be repeating others. i apologise if thats the case.

i do agree with nicky that it would be so boring if everyone else felt the same way as you. on the other hand, it makes everything somewhat more daunting that nobody will ever feel exactly the same way as you about anything ever.

at the moment i'm feeling very passionless, which may be similar to what you're experiencing, j0n4th4n. i'm simply not interesting in anything. i'm also going through a minor appearance dilemma, which is always troubling. i know the reason for this though...its the holidays. i always get so bored that i develop a minor form of depression during the holidays. does anyone else?

clarice

Posts: 193
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2001 1:00 am
Location: london uk

the point of the previous post was meant to be that mild depression can make you feel very separated from people. i don't think that was made clear.

clarice

Posts: 193
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2001 1:00 am
Location: london uk

I realize that everyone is different and that I can't find exact copies of myself out there. But, what I'm looking for is similar. An analogy to explain: I'm a christian who has studied theology, gnosticism, history of past christian saints, whatever else etc... Now I'm having a problem understanding something like, 'fate and free will'. So I start asking around for people's ideas but I'm surrounded by pagans, muslims, whatever etc. Now every once in a while I'll come across a christian and they'll give me some view point on my topic of contemplation. But that christian isn't familiar with gnosticism, so not everything I'll speak about is understandable. Then I'll find another person who understands a lot about past christian saints, and they'll give me a viewpoint but, they may not understand christian theology. All these topics modify the way a person thinks, and complement each other... Well I don't know if I'm making sense, I think I need some sleep
The only real security in life, is to totally accept the insecurity of life.
nomen nescio

Posts: 17
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2002 2:05 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia

I think there are a lot of people this way. What sometimes frustrates me is when I think I'm making a good connection with someone, in a sort of "Yes, someone understands what I'm talking about, finally!" type of way, and then later there is something that we totally disagree on. Disagreement isn't bad, but I mean the kind of disagreement where in your mind it shows you how ignorant the other person was. And then I think, if I could relate to them, maybe I'm ignorant about a great many things. And I know I am but, now I'm getting off track.

If you have strong convictions about a few things, it makes it harder to connect with other individuals. Most people don't have strong opinions about much, and when they do, it seems like it's about something they don't understand very well. It also probably also changes your taste in many things because your perspective is different.
-John
u6crash

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Location: Sheridan, IL

Until I found this site, I didn't know that many people with as keen an interest in philosophy as myself (meaning they had actually read philisophical stuff), and I haven't even read that much on it (compared to a lot of people on this site)... yet (I'm still young).

I did one of those fun internet personality tests and it says that I come under INTP. Heres the test I did - http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

If you are going to do an online personality test though, I recommend you read this first - http://www.tri-network.com/articles/instruments.html

I often feel different to everybody else (in the real world), but I figure thats just me. But the Internet is a big place and I am pretty good at locating sites (like this one) and people which interest me, and have made a few net buddies. Though until I found like-minded people, I had a semi-lonliness. Although I am usually quite content by myself, everyone needs to find a few people they can connect with.

Find people with the same interests - look at their profiles (if they have anything in their profile) - and PM them. After a while you will find if they are simliar to you and you will have yourself a net buddy.
**I used to be indecisive: now I'm not so sure**

Posts: 86
Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2003 5:35 am
Location: NSW Australia

Hi there,

I'm from the Netherlands, and I felt quite different. But during the last few months I discovered where it was coming from.

I was becoming an einzelganger who liked to lock himself up in his room, thinking, reading and writing about my ideas, trying to understand myself en my fellow humans. Outwarded I was friendly and sympathetic, but inside very insecure. I didn't know if was smart or stupid.

I was scoring quite high on IQ test, but till shortly, I failed to make something out of it. My boss let me go a few months go, so it gave me loads of time to satisfy my hunger for information.

Surfing the internet, I stumbled on a high IQ organisation (no, no not Mensa). And on that site there was a long list of characteristics of high intelligent people. Few of those are, people dont seem to understand you, or understand your jokes. You seem to be ahead of other people, making mind-jumps etc. (I can't enter that website now, but if interested I could translate some characteristics mentioned)

I also went to some meetings of HIQ people, and the way we could connect was astounding. 2% of the people seem to have IQ's above 130. But what happens if you score high on those tests is unclear. But it's clear to me that those people think differently als normal people. And because more people are normal, high intelligent people don't feel normal or accepted. But if you're HIQ and the people around you are also (aware of it), you can have great chitchats, as were you normal people!

That's my version of being different. Maybe some of you will recognize it.

Tuihu

Posts: 191
Joined: Wed Nov 19, 2003 1:20 am
Location: The Netherlands

Maybe this gives a clue;
Strong sense of justice, and whatâ€™s wrong or right
You like to work alone
Other people donâ€™t understand your jokes
Quickly seeing solutions for problems
Very sensitive
Other people often canâ€™t follow your thoughts
Youâ€™re a loyal person
Youâ€™re often bored on parties
You have high standards, especially on yourself
You canâ€™t stand repeatings of whatâ€™s been just told
At school youâ€™re a bit of an outsider
When working on a project you can work for hours and forget the time
Things you have to say are often neglected or misunderstood
Often you hear the comments like; donâ€™t think to deep, are you serious about that?
Youâ€™re non-conformistic
You donâ€™t like being in groups
Youâ€™re an idealist
feeling you are more able to do, then you do
problems with organizing your life
tend to postpone things
problems to get started with things, but got many â€˜littleâ€™projects running
problems with pushing trough and finishing
a tendency to addictions
quickly bored
quickly agitated
creative (for example music and writing)
intuitive
low selfesteem, and moody

Translated from http://www.hiq.nl/.
It could be a dutch thing, but I think (high) intelligent people have more similarities as they could have thought. I thought I was different and alone, till I stumbled on this list. But I'm being personal, while the tone on this forum is quite objective. So I keep it with this, unless people want to react.
Guest

I'm sure there are lots of people out there who have those characteristics. Go to http://www.typelogic.com and have a look at some of the personality types.
**I used to be indecisive: now I'm not so sure**

Posts: 86
Joined: Mon Oct 27, 2003 5:35 am
Location: NSW Australia

You are not a unique and beautiful snowflake.
"Hell is other people." -JPS

People whose posts I block:

• Flannel Jesus

If these people are participating in a conversation, I cannot read what they say. This may cause disruption in flow, but unfortunately their poor behavior requires it.

Rafajafar
Objectively Subjective

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