i am the ultimate badass in all of america.

they drop a nuke on me, a ball of energy forms around me through the sheer power of my will, protecting me.
the city is desert, its all desert, i walk down the valley of death muttering to myself.
“she wouldn’t love me, refused to love, me, and now shes dead. theyr all dead. Is that what they wanted? Is that what she wanted? To be rather nuked than love me? All i wanted is to be loved, instead what i get is nuked and their all dead…” I scream to the sky then break down on my knees cryng…“all i wante to bee loved, instead what i get is nuked, nuked…theyd rather be nuked than love me…” i break down crying.

i enter the mad max camp, I tell them i need supplies. Three of the merchants pull their pistols on me.
I say to them “Fools. Do you know who you’re dealing with. Do you know what you’re dealing with?? I Just survived a nuke, a nuke to the face. Do you know who you’re dealing with…”
I slap 2 of them with their pistols and i used my powers to drag the middle one to a small room. He asks me if I am going to kill him. I tell him “I am in a feminine mood. And look at you, you try to ruin my mood. I’m not gonna kill you, it will ruin my mood. Im giving you a chance. Just, go away. Go away. I don’t give this offer always…take it or leave it. Theres been enough killing for today.” And I sigh.
He grins and grits his teeth, angry, lunging at me further. I use my mind powers to lift him in the air, and I tell him this. “Now you might ask yourself, is this a dream. Is this all happening, how did I survive a nuke and lift you in in the air…I asked myself it too, maybe it is a dream…But this is my dream…I never wanted much in life, I just wanted to be loved, You have 24 hours to get me a hot woman, this is all I ask, and I will leave this place. Otherwise, suffer my wrath. This is the deal.”
Man comes back, gets me a hot woman, a country girl, an applebucking lesbian Applejack. I change the deal. I tell the man to get me a sex-change, get me a scientist, get me a doctor and a scientist. The story continues…and my power grows stronger as it unfolds…

i am now in the compound, as i wake from sleep i realize the man did not give me a country girl, gave me a maid…
The maid does not love me i can see it in her eyes, defiance…as she unplugs the conduits seeking to overload the generators I say “you stupid bitch” as i hit her with a rod…the heros come rushing in…i tell them “Who do you think you are…you dare challenge me, always fuck it up…you all fuck it up, that’s all you people are good for…”
“Everyone is dead, i am the most powerful being on Earth and it’s still not good enough, you still wont love me…ArahHHHH” as i throw an energy blast the combat ensues…


You are too nice to be a badass never mind the baddest ass of all