Limericks…
There once was a man named Ug
Who stuck his plug in a jug
“Ugh”, said Ug with a tug
“Well ain’t this a hell of a fug”!
I was watching a news report the other day. A woman in a supermarket managed to crash her trolley into a stack of lighter fluid. It soaked into her shirt apparantly and the investigators believe a spark from static electricity was the source of ignition.
Anyway, in store cameras show her running out of the premises with her left sleeve covered in flame.
Startled policemen outside promptly pulled out their weapons and shot the woman dead.
A spokesman for the police later said that the woman had been carrying an unlicensed firearm.
A mathematician from Rix
Knew some figures and very cute tricks.
But the cutest of these,
Was, as each friend agrees,
36–24–36.
A leopard once strayed from his den
Where he was then spotted by men
He fled from their glance
With some lead in his pants;
Now he’ll never be spotted again.
Talking of felines, a mad scientist crosses breeds a lion and a parrot. What kind of new species evolves from this ?
Answer: I do not know, but if it talks , better be on guard!
What country uses trolley’s in supermarkets?
Why did someone put merchandise on the trolley’s tracks?
Even with a fucking fixed course track, this woman still managed to get lost and crash into something. Women should never be allowed to drive anything.
Sorry, sometimes it’s hard to mangle the Queen’s English sufficiently for it to fit into the American linguistic matchbox.
Sorry, we invented it. Queen has no say.
Barrae or coohudder is acceptable in Scotland, as that sounds badass, but for everywhere else, it is to be know by it’s legal name, as per patent number 2,196,914 on April 9, 1940 (Filing date: March 14, 1938), titled, “Folding Basket Carriage for Self-Service Stores”.
Got that… Not trolley, which is the queen mangling proper English usage but “Folding Basket Carriage for Self-Service Stores”… ot is what all Americans call it, you can show the common decency and respect for all those Americand eho died on the front lines in WW2 to make your Folding Basket Carriage for Self-Service Stores a possibiloty by refering to it by it’s proper name.
I mean, BBC never called Jimmy Carter by the name Jimmy Carter, it was always a dignified James Earl Carter Jr. If you can call Jimmy Carter James Earl Carter Jr., out of a misplaced respect for formal usage of names, then you can honour and respect all those men who died for your freedom to push a Folding Basket Carriage for Self-Service Stores by it’s proper a full name. You can also start saluting the Folding Basket Carriage for Self-Service Stores each time you see it, with sincere tears of gratitude for all we done for your people. It is the least you can do.
You see, when some asks me my nationality, I say “gor-Blimey guv’nor, I’m English innit.”
Perhaps philosophicly speaking, I’m making a category error, but fuck you and the folding basket you rode in on, I’m English. 
Such brevity among allies, friends, then;
What of enemies with desires elsewhere?
It is just a matter of condensing, and not of the other, condescension, where the debt of alliance lay’
neigh, friend nor for, come to a common purpose,
Whereas all the commonwealth could attest to!?!
Power does as power sees.
No such thing as power.
Just as I feared: only basic instinctual drives? What about the power to overcome?
Also a instinctual drive, as is imagination and reflection, and a great many clever counters.
In the end, your left with a eraser up your ass placed there by a local, saying to the passing people Guten Tag, who all errily look like you, despite living on another continent.
No, I do not like Europe.
True so true. But, and here is the big BUTT, upon all the instinctual drives are pencil driven into, the power to diverge is greater then the power to converge. It has always been conjured as thus, and the ideals have always to be reversed for public consumption, as it were possible. This is a politically driven strategy, so as to uphold the ‘rights’ of those lesser ideal men, to whom such conjectures be a comforting thought. Be Democratic, because, that legislates your rights, I weary of the tautology there.
The danger of reflection there, elevates it, so as to assume it more to be, than a mere common instinct.
You do realize I am a freak of nature who reads heavily to history from around the world, any time and place, intentionally seeking out unknown spots…
Where are you coming up with this historic pattern?
From oOriental: Chinese, Mongolian and Hunn sources. Plus leaping , after existentially leaping back, then forward. Convergence means inserting the pencil, and divergence, the negation of that.
But sources irrespective, there are intrinsic sources,
Which do not need a special place and time, because the signs are all around.
I’ve read “the” Mongolian source, guns have left no history save through Iran (white guns) and what Chinese sources you talking about in the land of the middle kingdom? Wasn’t the Mandate of Heaven and the rites, auspiciousness and sage like justice of the ruler enough to unify the realm? Only distant barbarian lands remained aloof.
Someone has a pencil shoved up their ass in this conversation, and that person’s name starts with a J.
You couldn’t mean?
All your reading about it pales before having lived through them: the hordes and hordes streaming down away from the barbaric lands toward the heart of civilazation. The empire held fast, for innumerable years, (and don’t you forget turd, this is a writing
forum and nothing has to be factual) @ the hordes came dozen Attila the Hun, leading masses millions of attacking soldiers, elephants in full armor and with
white glowing in eyes not fearing, until, they see them , in the white of their eyes.
As they streamed down, as they did almost taking
Rome, with the pope begging for mercy, with the
pope begging, in the name of the all powerful God, and Attila turned and left as quickly as he came. And then those skeptics came doubting everything but the
reason , and religion of the faith of our fathers, who
begun this awesome migration, were stilled quieted by the immensely anormous before, before.
So don’t tell me, otherwise…