Smellycunt Chronicles

Elevate form over function to get at less easily articulable truths.

Smellycunt Chronicles

Postby Fixed Cross » Wed Jun 08, 2016 3:23 am

Smellycunt was a female. She lay in her bed, or on her rotting mattress, most of the day. Bugs crept in and out of her holes. She felt about them as her children. Her womb and all that had shriveled, out of pure smelliness, but she still loved 'little ones' and she wasnt too picky. She was, after all, a young critter without many options.

Sometimes she languidly waited for death, but the bugs kept carrying little pieces of meat, from a snail, a grandpa's skin, a piece of a bug that died stuck in a turd, into her hole, up through her intestines, to her stomach, where her children delivered the goods so that Smellycunt would live on, for them to have a Palace. To a bug, Smellycunt was magnificent.

Such is the world; there is a love for everyone, but not everyone can be loved by everyone.
The strong do what they can, the weak accept what they must.
- Thucydides
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Re: Smellycunt Chronicles

Postby Fixed Cross » Thu Jun 09, 2016 6:33 pm

Smellycunt had tried to whore herself out. But she could find no Johns. She didn't understand the concept, really. She tried to sell her clammy fanny to those who had superior quality fanny flocking to them.

She has dug her own hole, as she had no idea about standards. She thought everyone was equal and she especially. Why could she not get paid to get a nice fat dick? She just didnt understand and that is why she gave up on herself.

The bugs then became the heroes of Clammycunts life.
The strong do what they can, the weak accept what they must.
- Thucydides
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Re: Smellycunt Chronicles

Postby Mr Reasonable » Fri Jun 10, 2016 8:45 am

I'm familiar with the concept of a smelly cunted whore trying to dangle her goods in my face while I'm banging professional women with college degrees and then the whore types getting offended that they couldn't lead me around by the penis.

I had an old bitch I used to bang when she was in her 20s, but who's in her 30s now and gained some weight call me up the other day and ask to borrow 1000 bucks to pay deposits on an apartment. I know this bitch, and I know that in her fucked up mind, she thought there was a chance that if she went to dinner with me and played with my penis a bit that I would loan her 1000 bucks. I didn't have the heart to tell her that her weight gain precluded the possibility of me even meeting up with her, let alone taking her out in public, and let alone giving her 1000 bucks.

I like women who really can pay for dinner. Not because I want my dinner paid for, because I'm glad to pay next time. And I don't mean the kind of bitch who pays for dinner one time and then talks about the time she paid for dinner forever. I want a girl that can spend a few hundred bucks at least on a whim at any given time without having to think about it.

Broke bitches...no thanks. If I have to pay for everything, then we take a crummy vacation but if the bitch can pay her own way and we both have money then we can take much better vacations.
You see...a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down they want some too.

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Re: Smellycunt Chronicles

Postby Mr Reasonable » Fri Jun 10, 2016 8:49 am

Like she's aware that I occasionally make loans to certain people. But those loans are A) predatory and B) secured by collateral in most cases. If I loan you money that you are going to invest for a return, and my interest payment is less than your return, then you can make some money and so can I. Business is good. But if I loan you money to make a deposit on an apartment, then the money is at risk because A) i loaned it to someone who can't even come up with an apartment deposit and B) you might fuck the place up and not get the deposit back. Not to mention the time value of those dollars and the opportunity cost associated with making a loan that wont net me any kind of gain. I mean, I can use money to make money in a lot of different ways, so to be the one who gets to borrow it you have to be the one who can make me the most money in the shortest period of time.

People who don't understand shit like this are destined to have shitty lives.
You see...a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down they want some too.

What exactly is logic? -Magnus Anderson

Support the innocence project on AmazonSmile instead of Turd's African savior biker dude.
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Re: Smellycunt Chronicles

Postby Mr Reasonable » Fri Jun 10, 2016 8:53 am

She's so dumb that I told her, "look, the kind of loan I make is like this...I gave a guy 3000 bucks a year ago and he gives me 200 a week until he's ready to pay me back. As in, the 200 is interest and the balance remains at 3000. When he brings be back the 3000 then he can stop giving me the 200. So he can use that money to do whatever he does to make money and as long as he makes more than 200 a week then he can pay me my interest and have a profit for himself. So it's been 52 weeks this guy has been giving me 200 bucks and he still owes me the 3000. So, that's a really good deal for me. Right now if he just told me to fuck off it wouldn't even matter. I've gotten paid several times over."

And she goes, "I don't care what the deal is I just need money for an apartment". This person doesn't even have a credit card or a bank account. Just a set of tits and a dream. But she's in her 30s now and the tits are depreciating rapidly, not to mention that she's gained that weight. She's not fat...just not skinny with big tits anymore. It's like her body grew into her tits. I don't like it. She's not good with money. No loan from me and no apartment for her.
You see...a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down they want some too.

What exactly is logic? -Magnus Anderson

Support the innocence project on AmazonSmile instead of Turd's African savior biker dude.
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Re: Smellycunt Chronicles

Postby The Golden Turd » Fri Jun 10, 2016 9:02 pm

You lying sack of shit, I don't care if you own a attack helicopter, nobody is afraid of Jared the Subway Guy playing tough as a loan shark. You point a gun at me, I'm taking your gun and pawning it.

And of course any wan would agree to said terms. It suggests she knows a lot about economics.... she would tale the money and put a restraining order on you, saying you were a abusive boyfriend, and if you try to deny this, the judge would demand to know why she wants a restraining order against you, and why you need so desperately to show up at her place. No judge will recognize the validity of such a absurd contract once explained to him. If he doesn't demand your immediate arrest, you can be certain the bailiff if throwing you head first off the court premise onto the sidewalk..... might get a taser shot in the ass afterwards for good measure.

Why can't you just tell the truth?
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Re: Smellycunt Chronicles

Postby Mr Reasonable » Sat Jun 11, 2016 9:56 am

Why couldn't I just hold collateral? Jesus man you're fucked up in the head. No one's using a gun or threatening people's lives here. Either you're just not creative enough to envision some circumstances other than the ones you described as being plausible, or you've just got a skewed understanding of the extent to which I am.

A restraining order? I don't know what kind of people you associate with, but in my entire life I've never met anyone who was a party to one of those on either end. Maybe you find yourself in the company of those kinds of people, but I don't.
You see...a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down they want some too.

What exactly is logic? -Magnus Anderson

Support the innocence project on AmazonSmile instead of Turd's African savior biker dude.
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Re: Smellycunt Chronicles

Postby The Golden Turd » Sun Jun 12, 2016 1:57 am

I work security a lot, so yeah, I've seen them launched in every which direction.

And most loanshark operations implode after a while, people who take them tend to have collateral issues, and up in the police station having to explain why they had to do crime X.... ends up with police investigations. Doesn't matter what you hold, you have a incredibly weak hand to play, and most people are smarter than you. If by some bizarre luck you made it this far, it won't last. I would sooner pay that $200 bucks to a druggie with a baseball bat to get you off my back and get my shit back that stay stuck in this bullshit cycle of impoverishment. You know there are plenty of Meth heads more than willing to take that offer up.
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Re: Smellycunt Chronicles

Postby Mr Reasonable » Mon Jun 13, 2016 9:07 am

Sounds like you live in a shitty area full of violence and meth heads. That's not how it is where I live. Also, most people aren't smarter than me. That's just a fact that you have to let soak in and go ahead and accept it. A meth head with a baseball bat? You're crazy man. If you knew the difference between the way you describe me and the way I actually am, you might shit yourself.
You see...a pimp's love is very different from that of a square.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down they want some too.

What exactly is logic? -Magnus Anderson

Support the innocence project on AmazonSmile instead of Turd's African savior biker dude.
http://www.innocenceproject.org/
User avatar
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Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2007 8:54 am
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