I was at a resort full of hipsters. There was putt put golf, waterfalls, and everything. I was actually a teenie bimbo wearing a pink shirt. Our host drove us to his friends house, which was moderately seized, and beige. It had several rooms.
Turns out, he worked for the mob. He introduced us to his gangster friends and we sat down and played Mario Kart together. It was actually like we were in the gang. They got really upset when they lost the game, and so we sometimes just said, “Let the Mexican win.” We were actually teleported into the game, and if that wasn’t enough, in the backyard they actually had their own go-kart track! But the days went by and eventually we had to earn our keep. He had us running drugs. The more drugs we sold, the more nervous I got. The more nervous I got, the more stress I got. The more stress I got, the more testosterone flowed through my system. It got to the point where I litterally became male, I sprouted a penis, like a fetus. I litterally was one of the boys.
I got used to my new criminal life, and my life as a boy, even though it was stressful and hectic. But then Joe said that something important was coming up, that there was going to be tryouts, like for the mafia. This upcoming thing just added to my stress. Tryouts? Were they going to wack us? Surely enough, my boys started disappearing, until only a few of us were left. Surely enough, the day of judgement came. Some Aryan supramacists walked into the room, like the kind who bullied you in highschool, the shaggy one’s that look like columbine kids. They said to us, “Seig Heil. Heil Hitler. It is time to come with us. Do you all hate Jews?” We said to them “Yeah, we hate Jews, but we think fascism is a bit overboard, so we will have to respectfully decline.” Things like this continued throughout the week, strange people entered the premises and asked us unconformable questions. They were testing us, seeing if we’d break.
By the end of the third day, I was already starting lose my mind. Muslims and Kim Jung 2 had already entered the room several days prior. This time, it was mobsters who drank coffee who entered the room. It seemed like the final day, the final day of tryouts, and there were only 3 of us mexicans left. Just then, Sam, who was the son of a rich ceo, a Jew, picked me up even though he was twice my size. He carried me up with his bare arms. He was going to kidnap me. I felt gay. He was cute, and I was a boy too, and I could not resist the overwhelming feelings for him, the feelings I felt when he suddenly carried me away. I was laughing hysterically. At that moment I realized that I was the Joker, a strange hermaphrodite clown. Gender was a relic, just a social construct, and love had no boundaries. Right and wrong was an illusion, and being kidnapped by Shulak made me excited.
They drove me around in their car dead of night. They were drunk, and they got shot at by some GTA thugs. They crashed into a tree in a drunken stupor, and that was when I made my escape. I was done with thug livin. I was going to make something of myself. So I found this giant blue cave, with a road in it, next to a hotel, and I got to thinking. How was I gonna blow up the hotel? I concocted an elaborate plan.
At that moment, Robin found me in the cave, making my explosives. He touched me by the chin, like Adagio Dazzle in Battle of the Bands. He reached out to me. It was an intervention. He talked to me, and grabbed me by the hand. He told me I was a good person, and it didn’t have to be like this. Then, he kissed me, it was so gentle. It was only on the cheek but it was a feeling I haven’t felt since…He was clearly 18 years old so I had no inhibitions. I was inspired. I drove away and decided to reform my ways.
Just then as I was driving down the road, i was assaulted by a chemical concoction. Robin threw it at me, and he was trying to kill me with some weird green explosive chemical mixture! I swerve, crashed, got out the car and beat his ass with a crowbar. I had enough. I was steaming. I was going to have revenge. I stormed off to batman’s secret base, his “camp for boys”. When I got there, I was shocked and dismayed. There wasn’t just one robin, there were thousands of Robins! They were genetic experiments, Batman had cloned them all. I was in tears. I couldn’t kill all of them, when one of them, the true Robin, the one who really truly loved me, would be killed too. So I stopped, and gave up. Then Batman beat me up captured me. i felt really debilitated.
