Old Man's Song

Elevate form over function to get at less easily articulable truths.

Old Man's Song

Postby Ierrellus » Thu Oct 22, 2015 11:17 pm

His fingers, prone to tremble,
Clasp a chord's geometry,
Attempting erstwhile ease,
While his voice, rough from age,
Seeks remembered harmony.

Defying his infirmity,
He makes his joyful noise,
And plays and sings his past--
And does it
Well.
"We must love one another or die." W.H.Auden
I admit I'm an asshole. Now, can we get back to the conversation?
From the mad poet of McKinley Ave.
Ierrellus
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Re: Old Man's Song

Postby Ierrellus » Sat Oct 24, 2015 2:06 pm

this poem fared well in a poetry forum. I'm surprised that it gets no comments here. It is not my best work, just my latest.
"We must love one another or die." W.H.Auden
I admit I'm an asshole. Now, can we get back to the conversation?
From the mad poet of McKinley Ave.
Ierrellus
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Posts: 12533
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2006 12:52 pm
Location: state of evolving

Re: Old Man's Song

Postby Arcturus Descending » Sat Oct 24, 2015 4:35 pm

Ierrellus wrote:His fingers, prone to tremble,
Clasp a chord's geometry,
Attempting erstwhile ease,
While his voice, rough from age,
Seeks remembered harmony.

Defying his infirmity,
He makes his joyful noise,
And plays and sings his past--
And does it
Well.


I liked that, Ierrellus, though I don't understand - Clasp a chord's geometry.
Why don't you add a few more verses to it?

But cheer up. I composed a poem in April and it took til October to get some response.
I think that many of the poets here have left the building. But I may be wrong.
It has only been a week for you.
“How can a bird that is born for joy
Sit in a cage and sing?”
― William Blake


“Little Fly
Thy summers play,
My thoughtless hand
Has brush'd away.

Am not I
A fly like thee?
Or art not thou
A man like me?

For I dance
And drink & sing:
Till some blind hand
Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life
And strength & breath:
And the want
Of thought is death;

Then am I
A happy fly,
If I live,
Or if I die”
― William Blake, Songs of Innocence and of Experience


“No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.”
― William Blake
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Arcturus Descending
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Re: Old Man's Song

Postby Ierrellus » Sun Oct 25, 2015 12:23 pm

Thanks, Arc. The geometry is the pattern fingers make in playing a chord on guitar. This is the first new poem I've done in awhile. Maybe it came out half baked. I only intended to show how making music can transcend physical handicaps.
"We must love one another or die." W.H.Auden
I admit I'm an asshole. Now, can we get back to the conversation?
From the mad poet of McKinley Ave.
Ierrellus
ILP Legend
 
Posts: 12533
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2006 12:52 pm
Location: state of evolving

Re: Old Man's Song

Postby Orbie » Sun Oct 25, 2015 10:30 pm

I find it a good verse, if I may make a suggestion, equally half baked, perhaps, but instead of geometry, I would suggest calculus, or, calculate, calculated, since it was through harmonics that trig-calculus arose.
[size=50][/size]Allone's Obe issance



In answer to your prayer
sincere, the centre of
your circle here,
i stand ; and , without
taking thought,-
i know nothing. But i can

Full well your need-as
you be men
This: Re-Creation. With a
bow,
Then, your obedient

servant now.
One gift is all i find in me,
And that is faithful
memory
Orbie
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Posts: 7596
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Location: Night of infinite faith

Re: Old Man's Song

Postby Ierrellus » Mon Oct 26, 2015 12:14 pm

Orbie wrote:I find it a good verse, if I may make a suggestion, equally half baked, perhaps, but instead of geometry, I would suggest calculus, or, calculate, calculated, since it was through harmonics that trig-calculus arose.

Clasp a chord's calculus does sound better. Thanks, Orbie.
"We must love one another or die." W.H.Auden
I admit I'm an asshole. Now, can we get back to the conversation?
From the mad poet of McKinley Ave.
Ierrellus
ILP Legend
 
Posts: 12533
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2006 12:52 pm
Location: state of evolving

Re: Old Man's Song

Postby Arcturus Descending » Wed Oct 28, 2015 2:19 pm

Ierrellus wrote:Thanks, Arc. The geometry is the pattern fingers make in playing a chord on guitar. This is the first new poem I've done in awhile. Maybe it came out half baked. I only intended to show how making music can transcend physical handicaps.


No, Ierrellus, it didn't really come out half baked at all. I didn't get that sense.
I just don't know guitar lingo that's all. Someone who does would have understood it. I thought it was some kind of metaphor. :mrgreen:

Yes, making music can transcend physical handicaps or that the struggling to transcend handicaps can make music among other things. Or is it the same thing?

Sometimes we don't always understand a poet's poem but in hindsight it will maybe make a lot more sense. A guitarist would have understood it.
“How can a bird that is born for joy
Sit in a cage and sing?”
― William Blake


“Little Fly
Thy summers play,
My thoughtless hand
Has brush'd away.

Am not I
A fly like thee?
Or art not thou
A man like me?

For I dance
And drink & sing:
Till some blind hand
Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life
And strength & breath:
And the want
Of thought is death;

Then am I
A happy fly,
If I live,
Or if I die”
― William Blake, Songs of Innocence and of Experience


“No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.”
― William Blake
User avatar
Arcturus Descending
Consciousness Seeker
 
Posts: 15274
Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2008 5:15 pm
Location: A state of unknowing


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