torture

the world will put up with a tortured man if he’s handsome
the world will torture an ugly man if he’s tortured
the world will put up with an ugly man if he’s happy
the world will be happy if a handsome man is happy
if a handsome man smiles, the world smiles
if an ugly man smiles, the world says “what the fuck are you smiling for”
if a handsome man doesn’t smile he looks pensive and cool
if an ugly man doesn’t smile, it’s “why the fuck aren’t you smiling?”
if a handsome man makes a joke the women will gather to laugh just like
if a handsome man shits the women will gather to pick peanuts out of it
if an ugly man shits the women will call him a pig and run away
if the ugly man makes a joke the women will gather but only because he’s funny
if he wasn’t funny he’d be invisible
if the handsome man believes he is the center of the universe nobody can fault him
if the ugly man thinks he is the center he will be faulted for thinking that
if there is a party the handsome man will be invited
if there is a party the ugly man will be tolerated as long as he has a good personality
if a handsome man bleeds nations will weep
if an ugly man bleeds nations will take heed and quickly go guard the handsome man
and thank God that it was the ugly man who bled and not the handsome one
if a handsome man walks into a room he will be in a different room in a different world
than the same room that the ugly man walks into
in the handsome man’s world everything is simple and things come to him like a storybook
in an ugly man’s world the world hides from him and evades him and makes him feel dead
if the handsome man eventually becomes ugly or humiliated he will easily adjust because
so much of his life has been blessed, his faith in his own specialness is unshakable
if an ugly man is some day blessed with beauty he won’t trust it and will push all his rewards
into an abyss and hide from them
if a handsome man eats a plum it will taste like a plum
if an ugly man eats a plum it will taste like a worse plum
when a handsome man smiles his skin will sit over his skull front in a natural way
like a finely tailored suit
if an ugly man smiles his skin shall bunch up in the wrong places and he will look three shades of bad
if a handsome man chews his food he will look cool
if an ugly man chews his food he will look far uglier than even he himself realizes
if a handsome man gets a huge zit on his nose it will be cute and funny
if an ugly man gets a huge zit on his lopsided bulbous nose it will be cause for depression in everyone he meets
if a handsome man runs for president most people will assume he is honest and smart before he speaks
if an ugly man runs for president we will assume weakness or character flaw
if a handsome man has a nature, it is inherited from the nature of those who are able to mate with beauty
due to skill, cunning, prowess, nobility
if an ugly man has a nature, it is inherited by those who would mate with the ugly due to desperation,
lack of discernment, weakness or stupidness
these are the rules of handsome man and ugly man
whether you be handsome or ugly
i am your Lord and I hand these rules down to thee through ILP
everybody thinks i am just another poster,
but can’t a deity secretly use a website?
of course he can. i have chosen to hijack the account of someone
who seems capable of writing this, so that nobody will really think
that I am the holy spirit. it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done this
to this particular member.
Fuck you Gamer! hahahahahahahahahahahaha

– God

Fuck you God. Nobody here will believe I wrote that.
Go to hell.