josepth fell into the deep void of the word processing program. confused, scared, and a little hungry he began to panic.
“where the hell am i?” as he was screaming into the nothingness he sensed a presence. sense presence… ha ha ha ha. “this is the void!” josepth began to think back to his history research and remembered that Myamoto Musashi wrote of the void and its mysterious properties. “not that void stupid. what are you thinking, that this is some kind of eastern philosophy word processing program?” josepth sat, or thought that he sat, and began to ponder on what this could all mean. “how could this program know what im thinking?” the void violently shook. dont ask me how, because i dont know how. it just did. besides, the physics of getting thrown into a word processing program and it shaking violently arent relevant to this story, well not at the moment anyways.
the voice rudely interrupted josepth’s deep train of thought. "you are wasting my precious time, what does it matter that i know what you are thinking? you are here for a purpose. isnt that what all you puny minded humans want in your insignificant lives? josepth took the last question as a rhetorical one, since he isnt very receptive to nonconstructive criticism. it became clear to him that the program expected an answer. he began to look around as if the nothingness could give him the clues for the answer that the voice demanded. “you are dim arent you, well whatever then. i foresee that your task will take you many millennia. since your physical body limits your lifespan to not much more than a century, your just SOL (slappy out of luck). your task josepth, is to fill this void.” josepth eyes popped open in disbelief. “you want me to do what? how can you expect me to do this?” moments after those very words slipped from josepths’ mouth, the white nothingness melted, yes melted, into black.
josepth stood up in his tiny apartment to see the above paragraph on his laptop screen. “well, i see that ive got a decent start.” he began to decide what would be worth filling such a small void. he assumed it was small because the egotistical sentient program neglected to state the parameters or the volume of the void. promptly the word program was deleted from the C: drive by some unknown force. wordpad is a archaic program anyways. josepth decided that he was going to fulfill his obscure mission by writing a short story. “im on my third paragraph anyways, i might as well write some fictional story about myself”
he abruptly ended his third paragraph with a run-on sentence. josepth began to ponder the late program’s words. the words although harsh, held an elusive truth. a truth that he never put into words. “what is my purpose?” josepth pondered this for a few minutes and then he imagined a haunting wordpad program telling him that it was to fill this paper. with the aid of a dictionary and some stale nachos, josepth ventured deeper into the paper.
josepth was party to living small. he had what he needed and a little of what he wanted. “what is my purpose?” josepth began to realize that he was still stuck on that question, and that the reader was getting a little frustrated that the author hasn’t really supplied a believable plot, and an interesting setting. “i will instead write on how i came to find the truth about the origin of man.” josepth began pulling thoughts from an over used portion of the fleshy matter in his noggin.
“the origin of man lies within us all,” he began. “through the analysis of our chemical makeup, i have ascertained that we were once very much like sea monkeys. the sea monkey like humans decided one day that the law of spontaneous generation was very dull, and thus sex was born. sex made all of the humans happy and they just got bigger and dumber.” josepth sat and thought about what he wrote, while feeling a little proud of himself. “the humans were not aware of their exponential ignorance, rather they felt that with their so called scientific advancements, that they were becoming much superior than their ancestors. much similar to how an alcoholic believes that he can perform very dangerous stunts while being scantily clad in his ex-girlfriends clothing.”
“the males had gotten considerably bigger than the females and decided that it was because of their superior thoughts.” josepth read this line over and over and thought of deleting it. with a obnoxious belch he forgot it all together and continued his mission. " the humans fought over many things. since the males and females started to become very argumentative, the species as a whole stopped getting bigger due to the lack of sexual activities. the males began to invent many objects to maintain their lives while the females stood back in silent laughter. it became unanimous among all of the women that it was their role to preserve man." josepth looked happily at the screen. “there it is, i did it!”
josepths screen promptly went blue after he typed his last sentences. the blue screen of death had come to claim his unsaved document. he moaned in dismay as the laptop mocked him with, “DUMPING ALL PHYSICAL MEMORY.” he imagined the laughter of the deleted word processing program deep within the recesses of his mind…
THE END