Indeed QM and Relativity seemed to clash, but, laugh at me if you must, I resolved this through establishing that both rely on the same type of logic, namely what I call self-valuing logic. It has to do with reference frames being also the criterium in QM, but that in QM one can’t measure from within one. So according to the same logic that forces Relativity onto the stage, God must be seem to be playing dice.
But a much earlier issue that bothered me was the question of the universe, which was back then said to be expanding, therefore with changing but distinct limits, which means there is an outside, which is obviously impossible of we are speaking of the universe. The strange assumptions grounding the Big Bang theory also bothered me. I don’t see how there can be a beginning to time. Breaking my head for decades on these simple questions I figured out that time has necessarily always been there, just not necessarily always the same continuum, and the Big Bang has likely been some cataclysmic collision event.
The core issue at the heart of this is the question of whether we can speak of the Whole of Existence. I think now that this is categorically impossible. Existence must be definition incoherent with itself to be able to exist. Pure coherence makes for absolute negativity, impossibility of perspective, which is the heart of being, as both Relativity and QM indicate, and as my own value logic clarifies.
The dissonance, which was very painful for long periods, was lifted when I managed to establish a single logical certainty. Before that, I simile had no ground to base any of my belief on so as to really believe in them. I wasn’t able to take anythings seriously, all was utterly fleeting and grindingly absurd, until I discovered how to think. How to shut off the idiocy that mankind has called thinking ofor thousands of years, and actually have a sound, completely incorruptible criterium that is completely solid and explicit under all circumstances Ive since encountered and considered.
Obviously I am very happy, with this situation. And the joy increase whenever I manage to clarify this logic to someone else, which isn’t often at all, as it is very counterintuitive.