Hm, I didn't find Crowley's Little Essay very helpful, except for this:
"The word 'serve' is indeed misleading and objectionable: it implies a false and despicable attitude. The relation between men should be the brotherly respect which obtains between noble strangers. The idea of service is either true, and humiliating; or false, and arrogant."
With regard to that thread I linked to, I wrote the following today:
Leo Strauss wrote:Instead of explaining why it is necessary to affirm the eternal return, Nietzsche indicates that the highest achievement, as all earlier high achievements, is in the last analysis not the work of reason but of nature; in the last analysis all thought depends on something unteachable "deep down," on a fundamental stupidity; the nature of the individual, the individual nature, not evident and universally valid insights, it seems, is the ground of all worthwhile understanding or knowledge (aph. 231; cf. aph. 8). There is an order of rank of the natures; at the summit of the hierarchy is the complementary man. His supremacy is shown by the fact that he solves the highest, the most difficult problem. As we have observed, for Nietzsche nature has become a problem and yet he cannot do without nature. Nature, we may say, has become a problem owing to the fact that man is conquering nature and there are no assignable limits to that conquest. As a consequence, people have come to think of abolishing suffering and inequality. Yet suffering and inequality are the prerequisites of human greatness (aph. 239 and 257). Hitherto suffering and inequality have been taken for granted, as "given," as imposed on man. Henceforth, they must be willed. That is to say, the gruesome rule of nonsense and chance, nature, the fact that almost all men are fragments, cripples and gruesome accidents, the whole present and past is itself a fragment, a riddle, a gruesome accident unless it is willed as a bridge to the future (cf. Zarathustra, 'Of Redemption'). While paving the way for the complementary man, one must at the same time say unbounded Yes to the fragments and cripples. Nature, the eternity of nature, owes its being to a postulation, to an act of the will to power on the part of the highest nature.
"Reason" refers to my masculine side; "nature", to my feminine side. My feminine side has become a problem for me and yet I cannot do without it. It has become a problem owing to the fact that my masculine side is conquering my feminine side and there are no assignable limits to that conquest. As a consequence, a part of my masculine side has come to think of abolishing this side's inferiority and suffering. This inferiority and suffering were first taken for granted, then as "given", then even as imposed on it. Henceforth, they must be willed. That is to say, the fact that almost all of my masculine side is a fragment, a cripple, a gruesome accident is itself a fragment, a riddle, a gruesome accident unless it is willed as a bridge to the other side. While paving the way for the complementary part of that side, at least a small part of my masculine side must say unbounded Yes to the fragmentary and crippled parts of this side. My feminine side, the wholeness of my feminine side, owes its being to an act of self-valuing on the part of the complementary part of my masculine side.
Now I wouldn't be the thinker formerly known as Sauwelios if I didn't second-guess myself here. What if my other side is not necessarily my feminine side at all? I mean this not in the sense that my right (left-brain) side is my feminine side, but in the sense that I have two masculine sides.
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I now realise I'm still logged in as Sauwelios. As Amasoof ("Amasopher"), I wrote the following in a chat:
Sauwelios .
I guess I haven't told you much about {the truffle trip I took two days ago}. I told you some essentials, though. Another thing is it's again quite Oedipal in a sense (not the Freudian sense, at least not literally). Did you ever listen to that Oedipal insight of mine, or at least read about it? The pierced feet and eyes?
{Sauwelios' contact .}
I did, yes.
Sauwelios .
Well, things kind of started with that. The two-in-one, I've called it. But in a way my eye(s) hadn't been opened yet. I saw the Sphinx-nature of, well, Nature, but not yet of my own nature in an important way. (The nature of the Sphinx is her being a hybrid of two natures (woman and lion).)
By solving the riddle of the Sphinx, Oedipus became king of Thebes, were he married the widow of the former king--his mother and father, respectively. But he was blind to that even when he led the investigation as to the murder of the previous king. At some point, the seer Tiresias told him in anger that he was no longer going to help him (he had been giving him more and more and stronger and stronger hints), because he simply didn't want to see the truth.
{Sauwelios'--wait, why am I called Sauwelios in Gmail chat? That's pretty weird. Anyway: Sauwelios' contact .}
[Nods],. I remember the story well.
Sauwelios .
Well, I felt like that. I mean, like I hadn't wanted to see what I was carrying around with me--in me, as me. A split between lion (masculine) and woman. Not just that I am this hybrid, but that the two have been cut off too much, so that the woman side atrophied.
Yesterday I thought, like, I don't need to do shrooms for an indefinite while. But now I think I do want to confirm the insight at some point. Anyway, tomorrow (tonight) I will vaporize again, so let's first see how that goes.
I'm thinking of it in terms of the Kaballistic Tree of Life (Severity/Mercy), left-brain/right-brain, Jung (Ego/Anima), Strauss (reason/nature), etc.
In fact, I just realized again for the first time in a while that I naturally reverse the sides of that Tree of Life. Traditionally, the higher is considered masculine and the lower feminine. I have to reconsider. I mean, there is the unconventional-sounding idea, which I found (confirmed) in Nietzsche, that women are more rational and men more passionate. Yet I also think it's true that, on average, women tend to be better at empathizing and men at systemizing (The Essential Difference--did I send you that?).
In any case, it's not as if in women, left-brain and right-brain are reversed, or most women are left-handed or anything like that. From what I've read, women just have a thicker connection between the two brains. So maybe men are more divided and women more whole?
On average, I mean.
I also associate the two sides with my mother and father (hence the "Oedipal" remark earlier). I wonder how that would be different if I'd had two moms, or two dads, and/or was gay. Not to mention even more complex possibilities.
I _had_ intended, not so long ago, to direct myself at men instead of women from then on. I associated this with the difference between Love and Esteem on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. I thought about that yesterday before I fell asleep, and it was like having two dark sides instead of a dark and a light one. At that point (I was sober) it didn't necessarily feel bad, but I wonder how my unconscious would retaliate to that.
Sauwelios .
I also think I may already be over-analysing it.
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At the end of the truffle trip I referred to, I formulated the essential insight as follows [to that same contact]: "I'm half atrophied, and I think that other half is the Other half: Others."
Tonight, while high on weed, I will record--in English, for the German hope is lost, and I had a dream early this week, inspired (in part) by a combination of cooking-pears and meatballs, in which I sang my "O Zoetsa" highly theatrically, with a properly affected British accent, turning it into a farce but winning my audience over thereby (I had to outdo Vincent). By Jove, I'm Jesus!