With the advent of recording technologies, all kids can see themselves in action from a 3rd party perspective and see where they could improve themselves. General ball play is not an education nor does it solve a boys problem. My idea of positive corrections, if normalized, would enable the child to see his flaws and come up with alternatives to close the social gaps. Why do you guys advocate for writing these kids off as reject score keepers and such?
It’s not the only cause, but it is one contributor nevertheless.
Because he’s going to be bullied. Males at the bottom of male hierarchy are the weak, meek, and cowardly ones, the ones who cannot compete physically, or ones who cannot cooperate and work as a team. Females have a different type of hierarchy and focus more on emotional and psychological bullying, other females.
It’s important to push an autistic, socially inept male early into cooperative or competitive physical endeavors, because the future does not bode well for them at all otherwise. It is one thing not to fit in very well. It is another to “not fit in at all”. Children and teenagers never allow complete disconnection and solitude. Solitary children are bullied and targeted by predatory instincts. It’s a type of personality foreignness. Children don’t like, and don’t trust, the kids who “keep to themselves”.
All of this applies more to public schools where there is less strictness and adult supervision to monitor bullying and the isolated children.
Within the past 2 months, I’ve read in the news, reports of children who get killed by bullying, physical assaults and other forms. Some kids have no defense. Usually they are spawned and raised in single-mother environments. Single-mothers are the least efficient at raising a boy, a son, to defend himself during the informative and socializing years. Single-motherhood is very neglectful in such ways.
On physically disciplining children:
When you simply spank them for not obeying you, they don’t create the proper correlation between their actions and their suffering. Instead of concluding that not obeying you results in life punishing them, they conclude that it is you who punishes them, and being that they’re not able to understand why - unnecessary resentment is built inside them. In the former case, they have no one but themselves to blame for their suffering, because you told them what to do and they disobeyed. In the latter they do, and they will blame you for their apparently unwarranted suffering.
Allow me to illustrate with an example.
My kid randomly aligned his toys in a narrow transition area between the kitchen and the living room. When I told him to move them to a play-designated area, he didn’t like my tone so he crouched and averted his eyes in protest. I repeated what I said earlier, but he still refused to obey. Naturally, my first impulse was to threaten him with a raised voice and spank him in case he persists in his insolence. Instead, I took a deep breath, calmly approached him and told him: “Listen, there’s no need to be mad at me. I am not saying this because I love to order you around. I am saying it for your own good. There is a reason why we don’t allow toys anywhere except the play area. It is because someone might accidentally step on them and break them.” While I got his attention, he still refused to do anything. So I let it slide. After a couple of hours, as he forgot all about this inconvenience, I deliberately stepped on his favorite toy and broke it (without him seeing it, of course). At that point, I shouted “What was that?” which prompted him to run to me. When he saw the state of his favorite toy, he started crying in disappointment and it lasted for a while. I waited for him to cool off and then approached him peacefully and repeated everything I said once again. Then I suggested that we pick up the toys together and put them where they belong. He agreed instantly. Needless to say, never again did he put his toys where they weren’t meant to be. Some time later, when he wanted me to buy him a new toy to replace the broken, I lied to him that I currently don’t have the money and that he must wait for his birthday.
A couple of easy steps, and a child has learned a valuable lesson of the importance of maintaining order. Just like that, without any force or even raised voices. Had I beaten it into him, the only thing he would learn is that he must obey me because I am stronger, which is a first step in creating a slave/tyrant type of person - he who bows down to the authority of force instead of authority of wisdom.
Children are by predisposition egocentric, and you should therefore always look for ways to explain to them why the things you tell them to do first and foremost benefit them, not you.
What “boys problem”?
You said that kids need to play with other kids.
I gave you an example of kids playing with other kids outside of the context of public education.
There are many other ways to socialize.
Unless you’re living in a rural area, there should be people everywhere around you.
Do you have any neighbours? That’s the best place to start.
All you have to do is to talk to them.
To do so, you have to learn how to open a conversation, and to do that, you have to learn how to be attentive.
Parents can be of great help here.
But what if you’re surrounded by people who resist socialization?
Then you’re fucked.
You can educate a person and make them knowledgeable, but you can’t make them intelligent. Intelligence is innate. There are tons of educated morons out there…struggling emotionally, failing at life. Better to just train those types to do something useful.
Magnus wrote
Urwrong wrote
And you said
I say screen the kids your child interacts with, make sure they are more intelligent, dynamic, and well mannered than not.
Teach mental, social, and physical skills. As practice, conditioning, and training, inspire life affirming goals to accomplish. And then be prepared to answer questions. EOS.
You stalking me James?
Like “Duh!” But how exactly? That’s what we are hashing out here.
You obsessed with me, R?
The same way you do anything well:
“Clarify, Verify, Instill, and Reinforce the Perception of Hope and Threat unto Anentropic Harmony.”
“… Duhh!.”
…snicker. 
James, you know I’m too flighty to be obsessed with anything.
Also, can I call you Jimmy? Ol Jimmy Saint…sounds like a blues musician who came from a plantation and would be buried in an unmarked grave in Mississippi. It’s a good name. I could make a thread and tell the story of Ol Jimmy Saint, and how he sold his soul or something to play the blues, and through his experiences as a slave and a pioneer of blues, came upon his own sense of enlightenment and understanding of how if some shit exists, then it effects something.
Like if it weren’t for Jimmy Saint, there never could have been a Leadbelly or a Howlin Wolf, or even a Muddy Waters or an A.C. Reed.
There were some old records where you and Bessie Smith did some songs together with a washboard and a guitar that only had 2 strings, but the master found them, accused you 2 of trying to incite a revolution on the plantation and then you got sold off to another farm so you’d be separated and the albums were smashed in front of the other slaves.
What are kids suppose to do with that James? *kid’s snickering" And we are not the kids damn it! :-"
Come on, we need the detailed steps on how to do that for children so they reach their full potentials.
Jimmy misunderstands the inherent disconnect between language and the underlying reality that it describes. Besides that he’s a pretty smart dude. And can sing the blues like no other.