5 minute philosophy

Got only 5 minutes left before my timecard expires.

I don’t know what I am. I am nothing. Nothing. The truth that I am not my brain feels ever present at night. I imagine my consciousness leaving planet Earth and still filled with word-thoughts.

There seems to be an error in communication. Jerki has it, I have it. I have been banned by 3 internet boards since 1 moon ago. Not only banned, but my views censored, erased, and deleted. Small minded people. The idea that they would try to murder me, and murder my views, wounds me. All I want is a better planet.

I cannot get to and read all of your posts on ILP. I am sure there are great concepts in them. It just seems to be a gap in communication, presumably, intentional. I know that I have this gap in my posts, but it is unintentional. There seems to be a general malaise in the world, hard to describe in words, concerning the Christmas atmosphere. It seems the spirits have long abandoned this wasteworld.

My mind, seems to be ailing. A pendulum, a distance, swinging back and forth, never really grounded to my surroundings. My vision presents one scene, and yet, I do not feel connected to it truly. I view life from the future, as in each moment eternally fading into the aether and without meaning. This is a disease worse than Nihilism, for it has surpassed even hedonism and consumerism, for it views those two things equally unglamoured.

I become less certain of my gender with each passing minute. And less certain, that there is a thing called gender, if there ever even was. It all becomes various chemicals and chemical sensations. A kind of tension in the chest. More related to Chakras than anything else.

The Hell of this realm seems undeniably clear and undeniably certain. I am certain it is no delusion that there is a grand conspiracy at play, for even when I take my medication, the conspiracy still seems to rear it’s ugly head. My medication makes me weak in body and tired in mind. The hell of this realm seems undeniable, as I realize I am a soul borne into a cage, as a dog or pound puppie is too born unto a cage. I realize that the entirety of all my sexual and emotional needs unmet, and trampled upon by the Machine of nature, and I realize the Government is not my true enemy, but the human man itself. And I am but a dog clawing at a cage against my bounds, unable to help other dogs, unable to save the animals from slavery and butchery or even the starving Africans, starved from the glory of a White Christmas. I thank the heavens for being born into a White Childhood, with videogames and elegant design, and I pray to the heavens to give me strength to complete my tasks unto this Earth.

The fog of my mind has become quite thick and heavy, but at one point I discovered that the logic that I am not my brain, was undeniable. Furthermore, I began to discover, the logic that implies most people are not sentient, becomes increasing apparent.

If you are sentient, as I am, you must ask yourself one question, Did Ecmandu really go to hell for 400 billion years? That is perhaps one of the most important questions you will ask yourself in your life time. Because if he is telling the truth, the process must be understood to be avoided.

I am sorry to hear that you have been banned. I hope you shall return
asap. In the meanwhile stay strong and think positively and take care