I have taken up a new hobby and it is composing. But my only reason for pursuing this dream of mine is for recognition. I have created amazing songs in my mind and the only way for these songs to get recognized is for me to eventually become an expert in composing to the point where I would be able to perfectly replicate the songs here in reality just as I hear them in my mind.
So my only reason for composing is to get that recognition I want. I want people to recognize my music and see how great it is. I would then become famous and have a bunch of youtube comments praising my music. That is my only reason for taking up composing and if I can’t get that, then I don’t have any reason for composing. Some would say that I do have a reason which would be just to have fun and to appreciate such a hobby.
But that is not my reason for doing it. I only live to get what I want and I only compose to get what I want. I give up when I don’t get what I want. I give up when things don’t go my way. I would even give up on life itself and take myself out of this life if I can’t get the things I want (the things I value out of life).
There is a better hobby, practice, and talent. Everyone tries to alter the world and what they get into something different that they want, yielding very little appreciation for anything they have. The honed and perfected skill of not altering what one gets into one’s wants, but altering one’s wants into what one gets is that very special division in the road that leads to either Heaven or Hell. It takes practice, but is a cut above the average and tends to enhance the ability to do its opposite when truly needed.
To raise expectations that is ultimately based on recognition, thus approval and presumably happiness is an inherent danger and liability to one’s psyche and even life.
One of the main reason for the potential danger is one cannot control the mental thoughts of others who are conditioned by so many variables. Thus one cannot control others to give recognition and respect to one’s work. Even if one can garner recognition from others in some instances, there is a likely possibility those recognition could wane in time due to various circumstance beyond one’s control. Note those cases of many celebrities and their highs from public recognition but when the recognition waned, some spiral to the worst with addictions of drugs to sustain the natural highs of past and some end up in death from suicide.
Another fact is the cycle of expectations-linked-happiness is a natural instinct. When happiness is induced which naturally imply positive to survival, the instinct is an impulse for more of what is positive for survival. This instinct is basic for survival in animals but it’s negative consequences can be a great liability for humans who has self-consciousness, ego, etc.
The natural response of the non-repetition of that which generated happiness and facilitated survival is a dose of terrible sadness and bad feelings which in generally will prompt and drive one to seek that happiness elsewhere to facilitate survival.
If there is a continuous source of happiness via recognition in your case, then it is OK, but if the increasing expectation of highs and happiness via recognition failed to arise, then one will be sent on a downward psychological spiral that will end up with terrible sufferings and even death.
It is a general rule of wisdom that one should never depends on one’s happiness on the recognition by others who are by default beyond’s one’s control. The point here is this is a self-destructing cycle since the recognition by others is dependent on the increasing demand of satisfaction by others [e.g. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs] and one has to keep increasing the quality of one deliverables to satisfy others to recognize your work. At some point, the cycle will crash.
The wisdom of the wise is to modulate one’s happiness based on what is most likely to be controllable by the person, i.e. his/her own self.
In this case, you should reframe your views and leverage your activities firstly within your own capabilities and secondarily to others. If you happen to be good at composing, then think of it as an expressing of your talents, gifts, etc. also as an exercise of continuous improvements to better things in the future. In addition take into account of whatever you have composed could be of use to others who listen to your work and opportunities for improvements from feedback. Even if no one appreciate your work, think of the other positives from what you have done.
Here is one example of how I put the above theory in practice;
The wise thing I do is not to let ‘recognition’ get the better of me. If no one recognize or appreciate my posts, so what? I will never feel bad about it as I have my own other reasons within my control for posting.
It is matter of reframing your views on life’s activities and you will see more realistic meanings in life.
Instead of;
IF A then B, [B =negativity, sadness, depress, suicide]
one should change the same thinking and activity to
IF A then XYZ, [XYZ = positivity, optimism, equanimity, progressive, improvements, etc.].
The point here is most of the time, the internal conditioning that establish a state of B is due to unfortunate exposures and other reasons. For example if one is born in an environment that is full of negativity, one will likely to view most things as negative and be pessimistic. Born into a violent environment, one is likely to be violent. Born with excess of certain chemicals one could be depress.
Fortunately it is possible for any human being to change their state and conditioning via reprogramming and reframing of one mental attitude and that is based on understanding of one’s own human nature, i.e. Know Thyself [Socrates].
By composing do you mean creating something of some specific genre, or something more effervescent like fame for the sake of fame?
Fame for it’s own sake? Nowadays it’s fairly easy to create a 15 minutes of fame scenario, a woman here created an installation of her own, by literally undressing down to her skivvies, and making of herself a living sculpture , by standing up on a erected platform, as rush hour commuters helplessly feigned control of their vehicles. Needless to say this made front page until the bizarre structure was disassembled, and the artwork ended up behind bars.
So much for fleeting fame. The other kind also has setbacks and dangerous curves ahead, but with dear prizes to pay for entrance.
The heaviest prize is loosing Buddhic realizatiations, and severance with immortal levels of realization. Other unintended consequences are development of ill begotten habits : Tenacious munching of pills, washed down by booze, murder, mayhem and suicide.
So fame for it’s self ? Watch out dangerous and rocky road ahead, besides your money is never safe from the looters.