each of us, have a self image of ourselves and of our world…
now that image is driven by needs, ego, the myths and habits and prejudices
we were taught from birth, schooling or lack there of and experiences…….
I am no exception, I have an image of who I am and what is my role in the world…
I have very few delusions… I am not important… very few listen to or even
care if I live or die…the number who know me can be listed on one hand…
and I am ok with that…I am well read enough in philosophy to know what
I am doing in philosophy is good work and worth saving…….
who we blame tells us more about who we are then just about anything……
and as far as I can tell, it is what it is… we cannot change the past but
we can move forward into the future and that is where my thinking is at…
so those who blindly hold on to the past, get my censure, my blame…
and those who hold a false and phony understanding of the world, they
get my censure and my blame………. those who think everything is a conspiracy
and those who blame the jews and blacks and minorities… everyone but themselves…
they get my censure and my blame…for I feel they haven’t overcome their
childhood biases and myths and habits and prejudices and superstitions…
they haven’t overcome their limitations… and I blame them…….
that weakness is mine and I accept that…
the path to overcoming begins with awareness…
my failure lies with me because I have spent years overcoming my
limitations and I expect others to share my need to overcome limitations…
the path to overcoming begins with honesty… and being honest with themselves is the last
thing people do…… we try to make ourselves the hero of our play and really, if truth be
known, we are just bit players…supporting actors…at best…
and we are angry at being just bit players, so we blame others to justify
our being bit players… blaming the Jews and blacks and minorities are simply another
way of having a false and phony image of who we are… for if we admit the truth,
we would have to admit to ourselves, we are only bit players and that damages
the ego…….much of what we do is about ego and how to protect our ego…
so we act the star of our lives when we are just minor players………
it is hard for the ego to admit, I am a minor, bit actor in the play of life…
I have strutted upon the stage and spoke a word or two and then, then my time
is up… and then I return to the obscurity that is my life………
I am not the hero… I won’t kill the dragon or slay the beast…
I won’t win the 7th game of the world series or make the key shot
that wins the game… I will never get any applause or notice of who I am…
and when I die, few if any will even take note……
my understanding of who I am and what my role in the world is clear
and not distorted by ego, or any false or phony myth of the world that is
around me……. I don’t need to blame anyone, people or race or color or
religion to explain my obscurity… it is a well deserved obscurity……
I stand alienated from society and the culture around me…….
and it is me that is alienated… I can’t blame society or the culture
or the Jews to massage my ego for being alienated……….
I am an outsider and I take responsibility for that fact…
I have never fit in and I will never fit it and I take responsibility for that……
I am a bit player in my life and I take responsibility for that……
I am alienated from society and I take responsibility for that……
it doesn’t matter if these things are true… I must take responsibility for them…
for if I don’t, who will?
it bruises my ego to admit my failings…
but I must be honest if I am to overcome who I am………
my choices are my responsibility and my freedom to make……
the only question I must ask myself is this, what is next?
Kropotkin