Why do people have the desire to talk?

Infinity

When we do not know the reason why we talk - when we have no reason - there are an infinite amount of possibilities that we could choose from.

Everyone has there own slightly different reason for their answer to the question: Why do people have the desire to talk?

To me this fact that everyone has a slightly different reason says that there is no one reason and therefore are an infinite amount of possible reasons why we have the desire to talk. In the last part it was indicated that we are just the infinite speaking to the infinite and the medium that we use to convey our words is finite and usually temporary in nature. Here I want to suggest that communication is everywhere - that talking is not its only means to convey information. Even the smallest organisms communicate. Communication is going on inside our bodies outside of the nervous systems as well as inside.

That possibly: The infinite is speaking to the infinite and the mediums of communication are each finite and usually temporary in nature.

However communication in a sense may have been going on for eternity - this is something that to understand it - some people would have to think metaphorically.

When I say the medium that we use to convey our words; I am meaning many different things - our mouth - pen and paper - the internet - road signs - text books - our brains - music to impart emotion; really there is too much to choose from to list it all here. In a sense you could say that the earth, sun and moon are in communication and I will leave this up to you to ponder - possibly each object in the universe no matter how temporary, may be in communication with every other object. The forever changing evolution of the stars and configuration of the galaxies remind me of the mind and the constant change taking place within. A dimension or domain of potentially infinite imaginings.

By first understanding our own desires, we can then understand our own individual desire/s to talk. Underneath our ability to talk in the first place is our ability to structure information - it is in this information structure where the “pure question” comes into being. As a being I desire other beings to measure the worth of existence and without other beings, existence would be worthless.

. . . Perhaps the desire to talk, deep down, is related to the desire to question . . .

If desire or aspiration was not present to bring you here to post or read that which is correct or incorrect according to you, then what brought you here? Possibly your desire to communicate - to gain meaning and value - to question and to answer - I suggest meaning and value is related to the question and answer.

Why do you - personally have - the desire to talk?

Links to the other parts:

Part 1 - Why do people have the desire to talk?

Part 2 - La deuxième partie.

Part 3 - The Essentials

Part 4 - Purpose

Part 5 - Independence

Part 6 - As a pathway to Enlightenment - Cogito ergo sum

Part 7 - Because nothing is as it seems . . .

Part 8 - Infinity : Why do you have the desire to talk?

You are here . . .

Why do I have the desire to talk?

My desire to talk has gone through many different stages. Stages that I am not too certain I can capture that well in this post.

Therefore I will make this post now and another at a later stage that might be able to capture the essence of this desire more aptly . . .

My desire to talk now is different to the desire I had to talk when I was a child. I liked to talk to my friends and I liked to listen to them as well.

I remember when I was a teenager I had a desire to talk to adults but no desire to listen - at the same time I desired to talk to females and just wanted to impress them. As a teenager I had less desire to listen and more desire to talk.

In my twenties when I was well and truly out in the real world I noticed that people talk about different things, some of which was new and exciting to me - I felt that I was discovering many new things - then as time moved on I became more interested in the mind and what makes people tick.

Slowly but surely my desire to reach out to people and listen to what they had to say overtook my desire to talk and from that time up until now I have learnt more about people than prior to this transition. These days my desire to talk is more based around getting others to talk. Discovering things about people is exciting to me - reading what people have written on the internet has been exciting for many years now.

It is likely that our desire to talk can tell us and others a lot about ourselves . . .

I feel like I am in a new phase of discovery . . . I plan to contemplate how the desire to talk is - when fulfilled - able to restore emotional balance - as well as the desire that men and women have to talk to each other . . . and why there seems to be so many barriers to communication between the sexes.

. . . Each of us is unique through our own desires . . .

:-k

Arcturus Descending

Hi, apologies for the late reply. I have been very busy . . .

Perhaps you have seen the movie Cast Away. When thinking about the desire to talk this is perhaps a great example all packaged up in a movie . . .
. . . Wilson the volleyball . . . In the movie, Chuck Noland(Tom Hanks) starts feeling the pressure that can come with loneliness for some people. He creates a personified friend called Wilson out of a volley ball. This movie tells me that we in fact have a strong desire to talk. With no outlet to express this desire to talk, loneliness can consume us.

Sometimes a new topic for conversation stems in a more subtle manner I have noticed - we start out talking about one thing and next minute you know the conversation has many branches. When I say, in what way do you like to feel connected? I am met with confusion and clarity from your response of: What do you mean by *in what way? To which I initially think, What do you mean by responding with, what do you mean by *in what way? I then laugh it off a little and think - exactly - what a difficult question that we do not always place a consideration for. I myself like to feel intellectually connected to people but a new thing that has come about in my life is to also be connected by the pleasant and comfortable nature of small talk as well - to be able to connect through the power of analogy came to me a few years ago and before that it was more about pragmatism.

Not at all . . . it probably seems that way, the way I put things . . .

Mostly yes . . . we can not negate looking after number one first . . . because what can we be to others if we are in an unhealthy state ? . .
Some people just take it a little too far, me thinks . . . lol

By bouncing topics of conversation off each other we are then able to come to realize our desires - providing we can filter out the noise of an overproduced social reality - in which case meditating on interactions is a useful tool to separate out ourselves from our social interaction. To which you responded:

This is also what is done in philosophy, right? Very useful tools indeed . . . I discover stuff about me and others and humanity and its nature of conflict as well as my own internal conflict . . . reminds me of philosophy . . . reality? what is that? lol . . . yes I am speaking in a more personal sense - it is nice to know that we agree on something. This relating to one another that people do quickly brings to the surface differences which lead to questions internally and externally like: should we have these differences? who is right in this case? And all sorts of other things. It can highlight what we are missing from ourselves. I for one have found out many things about myself through interacting with other people. Obviously it also helps us to get to know others too.

Arcturus Descending: “We can’t ask the right questions if we do not know what we are about just as we cannot ask the right questions, philosophically speaking, in a forum, unless we have an idea of what IS and what we are looking for, to know.”

encode_decode: “We” how ever is not limited to just “oneself” but a group or many groups of people. To feel complete as an individual is what most people are trying to achieve one way or the other. One of my friends once said to me “within each one of us is a little bit of dictator”, immediately I laughed but I do see some truth in it - his perception of reality.

Arcturus Descending: True. I don’t recall if I was using the universal we or not. But that’s true.

encode_decode: No you were not using the universal, I just wanted to branch the conversation by playing with words a little. I would not do this with everyone but I had a feeling that you would not overlook what I did so I saw no harm and went for it . . . not much gets past you . . . lol

I can not argue with what you are saying . . . I find affinity with this. Wholeness to me is about inner harmony . . .

Hmm, regarding 1, is it harmony? Is harmony an achievable thing in any case? I am not sure, maybe if you give me a few more thoughts on this I might be able to respond better. On the subject of 2, I am saying something like that; I do believe that two or more people benefit to talk and the end result is more than the interaction. But then I think that Chuck Noland achieves this with Wilson too.

I would not be too certain about this, I have a theory that each of us has our own individual internal language. I think if you are comfortable that you have gotten your point of expression across in a satisfactory manner and you are happy with the resulting response or lack thereof then you have somewhat achieved what you set out to do; communicating your point of expression!

Hardly ever perfect but optimistically enough . . .

The simplest words spoken to make us feel connected: You are my friend. I understand. I get where you are coming from. et cetera.
Never complete but hopefully sufficient.

Yeah . . . it sounds satisfactory to me . . . I am content to “live with it”, I have never tried a Reese’s peanut butter cup but I will take your word for it.

Tim Tams usually do it for me with coffee.

:laughing:

Flow on.

WILSON!

I know it’s wrong of me, but I haven’t read all of this thread yet because I have such a desire to talk! :laughing: Why? I don’t know. Perhaps we can find out.

The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe. - David Hare

I don’t know why, but writing my thoughts help me discover what I think. And it’s hard to spontaneously do that, but someone who asks a question summons the motivation.

Alan Watts said, “In order to find out who you are, who you REALLY are, go into the woods and stop talking. Even stop thinking in terms of words.” I think about those words a lot. I wonder what I could learn by learning not to think in terms of words. So that’s it then… our motivation is curiosity. We talk because we want to learn. We want a surprise because it’s fun!

One thing about Watts is he never shuts up. Never. His “trade” was talking and he got paid for sitting in a chair, flapping his yap. He talked about how he talks and said it was simply something he likes to do… and that he gets paid for it. Watts says we should always do what we want to do. In other words, do what is fun because anything done for self-improvement is for the ego. Like meditating for some reason other than liking to meditate is, then, self-improvement and that begs the question of why you “want to be better.” And he goes on to say that the reason you want to be better is the reason you are not. That is profound because it leaves only one motivation for anything: fun.

So why is talking fun? Why do kittens play? It’s the same thing. If we’re to be teleological about it, then play is for the honing of skills. I don’t think it’s an improvement that feeds the ego because the motivation is fun and the improvements are a side-effect.

I learned a long time ago… way back as a kid… that asking nicely rarely produced a good answer because no one has the motivation to expend the energy; so to really learn, find someone making a claim and challenge them and suddenly they’ll go so far as losing sleep to filling you in on every minutiae about everything they know. Asking nicely doesn’t give many brownie points to the ego :wink:

So we come on here and type ourselves out there. Then some guy comes along and tears it to shreds. It seems no matter what we say, someone has another opinion on it and in that way we discover what we really believe whether we like it or not. They say flipping a coin can help in making decisions because in the process of flipping we’ll discover which way we hope it will turn out. So this forum-thing may be something like that. Other folks are probably here to build some reputation for the ego, but I think that can only end one way. Pride comes before a fall even though it could be fun for a while. If pride is the goal, we’ll go increasingly more and more looking for bigger challenges until we find a limb that breaks… and the fall is rough.

So we talk for fun and play is nature’s way of honing genetically proficient skills. However you’re put together will determine what you consider fun and so play will accentuate the positive genetic proclivity.

Serendipper

I do not consider it wrong of anyone if they do not read all of any thread that I have created. A desire to talk is a great thing especially when you have a lot of good things to say. A desire to communicate is a wonderful thing especially when you have a lot of good things to pass on. It would be interesting for me to find out why you have a desire to talk/communicate. The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe. - David Hare << I like it.

Perhaps you will find some value in the following quote:

Beyond this, I have to agree with you that writing down thoughts helps one discover what one thinks. It can be hard to spontaneously do that but I find when I am on a roll - I am on a roll - sometimes the roll deprives me of sleep. I have noticed that for some, they are not motivated to answer questions - I find that peculiar.

I quote this in response to what you had written as follows:

I think about similar words a lot. We might even agree to a degree that our motivation is curiosity. There are a number of things that I have read that I really like including emotion as a driver to the creation of language and the maintenance of self-concept through talk or writ.

[b]When being enters the wild with no language - universe provides for being patterns - the silent language is at work . . .

. . . answers can still come from from within by virtue of being’s submersion . . .[/b]
Watts and I diverge a little in that my primary motivation is not fun - but it is positive - we can say that - emotions run deeper for me and are directly related to logic. I will not get into it here but I will say that the rest of what you wrote about Watts I will spend some time contemplating.

Fun aside - I am inclined to agree with what you have written here.

Most of the time I am fairly passive - I do however think you make a good point concerning asking nicely rarely produces good answers from people; Personally I find it somewhat of a pity; I also think it is part of a misguided culture. Never mind, I apply the pressure as needed without going too far above my personal standard.
Sometimes people need to be mirrored too . . . for their own benefit.

I came on here to share my thoughts freely and see what people have to say about those thoughts. I have had shreds torn and I have torn a few shreds myself. There certainly is no lack of opinions getting around - it is questionable whether opinion based philosophy is of high value. I think it is OK to start with an opinion.

Indeed . . . I totally agree . . . the bigger they are the harder they fall, simple as that.

So we talk for fun and play is nature’s way of honing genetically proficient skills.
However you’re put together will determine what you consider fun . . .
. . . and so play will accentuate the positive genetic proclivity.
[size=85](Serendipper - 2017)[/size]

As we are already too painfully aware - not everyone would agree with what you say and not everyone would agree with what I say; I have no doubt that like myself, you have learnt a great many things from different people - I am talking specifically about the things you have chosen to take on board.

I really enjoyed your post - thank you so much. I gained value from every word including the few I did not agree with one hundred percent.

:smiley:

:slight_smile: I wouldn’t say ‘wrong’ in the sense of breaking a law, but in the sense of irony that there I were, reading a thread about having a desire to talk and found that I couldn’t read it for having the desire to talk lol. Maybe I want to pave my own road rather than taking the path already traveled. Maybe it’s a creative outlet or desire to connect more than merely learning the answer to the question. Life’s a dance we learn as we go; sometimes we lead, sometimes we follow. It’s not the destination, but the journey. The purpose of dancing is not to get to the end of the routine as quickly as possible :wink:

Another thing Watts said, “A bird doesn’t sing for the advancement of music, but if someone stops to listen and is delighted, that is fine.”

Check out this short story about The Chinese Farmer

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAVsJT9Uc_M[/youtube]

Even before I heard of Watts, I was hesitant to challenge someone’s faith because I couldn’t say for sure if I am right and they are wrong and I wouldn’t want the burden of assuming the responsibility for their loss of faith, so the chinese farmer story particularly resonated with me. Meddling with good intentions could have disastrous consequences, but at the same time I feel there are things I just want to get out there. Why should I take it to the grave, you know? I believe a rising tide lifts all boats, so if I can help others then I’m making the world better and therefore also helping myself. So, that’s one reason I talk… I’m arrogant enough to believe that what I say is “good”.

Me too. I’ve been hanging onto that one for a long time. As a kid, grandpa had a large Reader’s Digest collection and I’d go right for the Quotable Quotes every time. Not sure why I was innately drawn to that sort of thing. “If you can’t explain it simply, then you don’t understand it well enough.” So maybe large blocks of text is merely people trying to decide what they believe while the real nuggets are the quips. “A 1000 forests are in one acorn.” “An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.”

Actually, our consciousness is in the past because even examination of our own thoughts is studying the past. Looking at myself in the mirror is seeing myself some small bit of time ago and the farther away I look, the farther in the past I am. So, it would seem that we can’t be conscious of the current, the now… although we live in it.

I don’t lose sleep over losing sleep anymore. Check out: Why programmers work at night swizec.com/blog/why-programmers … wizec/3198

When you’re on a roll, keep rolling or you’ll fall off. Even if you mess-up, keep the beat and keep moving.

Reminds me of Eminem: genius.com/3051262

Dre tole me to milk this shit for what it’s worth
Till the cow just tilts and tips 'n stumbles to earth
And if I fumble a verse, keep going
First take, I make mistakes, just keep it

The rhythm is more important that the content. When you find the wave, don’t stop to sleep.

I haven’t gotten to the point that I could do Quora. It’s too big and I’m better in smaller groups. That and I don’t care much for the voting… it’s argumentum ad populum.

That’s why I’m not a huge fan of reading. I stand on the shoulders of giants, no doubt, but I don’t want to be too absorbed in any one person’s philosophy. It’s like Bruce Lee taking what works from various styles and making his own. Don’t be constrained, but be like water. Styles separate man.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-gO_grDkGI[/youtube]

We don’t usually think of Bruce as a philosopher, but that was his passion.

Emotion is a dual-edged sword.

That seems right. I’ve thought of myself as a mirror in social contexts before. I’m not always the best at being the better person and sometimes reflect what has been projected.

:slight_smile: I like how you add color! Sadly, I have no genetic proclivity for that. :frowning: If you ask my favorite color, I’ll say “color of what?” That should be enough to send the bridge-keeper over the edge in Monty Python’s Holy Grail movie. :evilfun:

Existence is a duality. Without enemies, we wouldn’t have friends. Without disagreements, we wouldn’t have agreements. The battle between good and evil is an eternal process where good is always winning, but never wins because if good annihilates evil, it also annihilates itself. We have to love our enemies.

It takes two to tango and I couldn’t do it alone :wink: I’m glad I ran into you and find that thinking the same thought at the same time last night seems meaningful. How can it be that two voices in the wilderness cry out in unison? Situations like that further my suspicion that the universe is sentient.

This is why I like reading for it gives one the time to really explore a subject in depth. One can of course learn from engaging with others on fora but as you
imply the ego can sometimes get in the way. Although I will listen to anyone if I think they have knowledge or wisdom to impart even if they do have an ego
So as long as I am learning I have no problem with the particular means being employed. But I still think solitary reading is the best way to achieve this even
if most of what I read I cannot remember. I really wish I had a better memory

That’s true, but I suppose it matters what we’re reading :wink:

Some people read for fun and others use reading as a tool merely to learn. So one enjoys the journey while the other just wants the destination to fill in a piece of a puzzle for a larger journey.

The problem I have with most books is they start with a general idea and then fluff it up to make a book out of it. And that’s fine if the journey is the enjoyment, but I’m often screaming inside “Will you get to the point already!” LOL! I do that will videos too. Sometimes I turn the speed up to 1.5x and after a while of listening like that, normal conversation sounds really slow. Try it sometime.

Have you heard of Kim Peek?

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhcQG_KItZM[/youtube]

He can read the left page with his left eye and the right page with his right and has nearly perfect retention.

I would find it very confusing indeed trying to process information from two different pages at the same time
Yet those on the autistic spectrum can possess capabilities that are simply beyond the ability of any one else

Trivia:

[i]The empathizing–systemizing (E–S) theory suggests that people may be classified on the basis of their scores along two dimensions: empathizing (E) and systemizing (S). It measures a person’s strength of interest in empathy (the ability to identify and understand the thoughts and feelings of others and to respond to these with appropriate emotions) and a person’s strength of interest in systems (in terms of the drive to analyse or construct them).

According to the originator of the hypothesis, Simon Baron-Cohen, the E-S theory has been tested using the Empathy Quotient (EQ) and Systemizing Quotient (SQ), developed by him and colleagues, and generates five different ‘brain types’ depending on the presence or absence of discrepancies between their scores on E or S. E-S profiles show that the profile E>S is more common in females than in males and the profile S>E is more common in males than in females.[1][2] Baron-Cohen and associates say the E-S theory is a better predictor than gender of who chooses STEM subjects (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics).[3] The E-S theory has been extended into the ‘Extreme Male Brain’ (EMB) theory of autism and Asperger syndrome, which are associated in the E-S theory with below-average empathy and average or above-average systemizing.[4][/i] en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathizi … ing_theory

I think it comes down to the connectivity of the corpus callosum, which Kim Peek is said to lack.

Does this mean there is a correlation between a lack of empathy and poor connectivity of the corpus callosum
Is this why women are supposed to have more empathy than men : because they have a better connected one

I’m not sure it is “why”, but the correlation exists. Gay men, artists, left-handed people also are better connected. I’m not sure if gay women have less connectivity than straight women, but I would guess that they do.

I want to be sure I clarify that it is not the size of corpus callosum, but the connectivity of it in regards to connecting the hemispheres.

So the stereotypical right-handed, male, engineer is likely to be less connected and may even be on the autistic spectrum somewhat.