My father has restless leg…were you adopted?
Oh now i get it… i can explain at least some of your issues (apart from restless leg and the feeling that your ‘centre’ is outside of your body).
It is that kind of dopamine deficiency you’re talking about which Aspergians** are prone to, especially if they smoke weed-- which basically makes you more aspergian*.
Well, this dopamine deficiency does occur with time, it’s something all weed smoking thinkers should know. But the same process also boosts up the Norepic aspects of your personality to superhuman levels, which ain’t that bad a deal, it is indeed overall even good, i feel, just does not seem so in “our” grossly imperfect world… and it even goes back to the idea that humanity* was born to toke, and became what it is (evolutionarily) because of that.
- or let me state conservatively, not to tick off our friends like Turd, at least the nonlinear (if indeed not linear syllogical, which is more dopamine-linked) aspects of the human psyche, that essential aspect which the term “homo sapiens sapiens”, for instance, describes.
Even i have some of that kind of dopamine deficiency, which, historically, has been felt most sharply if i smoked weed everyday. You must be like me, highly theoretical but less “practical”-ly oriented. And your anxiety will not be a physiological anxiety that can’t be helped, but rather a worldview-derived one, something in the lines of “Ah, but what can i do in the pseudo-civilizational absurd”.
And thus you must be reformist?
It can be called the philosopher’s “handicap”, reduced performance in sublogical quantitative activity (but they make it up by logical thinking & activity which, alas, often happens to be blocked by the absurd)
It is actually the correct kind of mentality to have – do not put up with the absurd and its demands (rat race – which you can call a dopamine-heavy, quantitative mental lifestyle causing depression and ultimately leading to dementia)…
Rather, try to have a qualitative lifestyle even if it involves some fighting for your rights to have it. Low metabolic rate, live long, be elated much of the time, and have super-cool thoughts 
That’s what I thought was my condition, strangely the psychologists said that to have aspergers I would have language difficulties, yet I seem normal [what they said] 
. …well they agreed until i pushed for benefits lol.
I agree weed is both bad and good, I gave it up for over 10 years. But now I can’t drink so its that or sit around feeling horribly normal [because normal is horrible in my experience of it].
Spot on. In another world where people could think properly i’d be fine. Have you ever noticed how badly people pronounce words, like they are defective in some way, and their thinking is equally unclear lol.
I am a reformist, mostly via challenging others notions. I agree about the rat race, when I was a young punk [an ideal subculture for me] I mostly escaped, but you can’t get away with it these days. I don’t think its just about earning money, as I could invent machines to replace almost everyone in e.g. factories at least, and I think there are already ways to do that. My feelings are that its an agenda – just to keep people busy.
