Another couple of days and I’ll be in Tallahassee, FL.
To all of my haters and anyone who got in my way or tried to say I couldn’t do something:
Not only have I won every ‘debate’ and done epic shit here and other places on the internet, I have traveled over 3200 miles to be in Chattahoochee, Florida, on my way south to try to be with the woman I love. I do epic fucking shit with my life. What the fuck are you all doing?
I noticed that I am really fucking stubborn, lol.
It is funny what people do to someone who has not done those things to them; how they undo not just a man, but a great man; that in the failing of undoing him, strive harder to undo him. He can not be what he says he is; he can’t be. He can’t be ‘God’, even though we knew that religions lied and didn’t hold true to their own teachings, he can’t be a more realistic version of those fairy tales. Even though he proves himself to be beyond the measure of others we know, he can not be what he claims to be, otherwise what we do to him is indeed horrible and cruel beyond belief. He can not be an innocent; he can not have purified and made himself blameless and sinless. We see impossible things from him, but those impossible things? please don’t let it be real, please don’t let it be true.
They pray in the hidden parts of themselves, thinking no one sees and no one hears. They cry when no one looks, or so they think. They stifle their tears, make themselves seemingly colder move to anger instead, to cover up their own weakness and pretend themselves secure and still, this is seen. They pretend to know more than they do because if they let on for a moment that they don’t, the gig is up, the game, over. Fake it until you make it they told themselves, hold it all inside and don’t let it show; nobody must know what we go through.
They pray in the hidden parts of them and then deny me out loud, deny their faith and their prayers, denied that I gave them help at all. From the staunchest of claimed disbelievers in the midst of a crisis, my title leaps from their lips: ‘God’. A title, as useless as any other. Anyone could hold it, few could hold it well. Only one wears it right. “god, please help me, I promise I’ll change,” some mean it, some don’t; some can and some forget only to go back to the same things that got them in the position to call on me that they found themselves in. Some are benign, not worth troubling over, they are mischievous, nothing more; not the great destructive force that others are and can be. And even from the worst, my title springs from their lips and into their minds whether they curse me or praise me, fear me or embrace me, attribute proper credit where credit is due or improperly blame me.
And these people here and in other parts of the internet; other parts of the world that do what they do and when called upon their shit do not stop, are the fools. They have villainized many to others; many others have done the same, but I can not be everywhere. They paint themselves in good light and people like me in poor light so that others turn against those they should not turn against. They tell partial truths and fill it with lies; give compliments to others to make them feel better about themselves to be liked for a moment so they can destroy someone else simply for calling them on their shit. These spoiled ones; those cradled in a need to be more than what they are and going about it in all the wrong ways and wonder why they become depraved; why no one respects them, why, eventually, everyone turns on them and hates them. They go out of their way to make others look bad, will even go so far as to drop their own pretenses in the process if you piss them off enough, if you get them focused and not paying attention; and some of them don’t care about pretenses, so comfortable they have become with the ‘truth’ of themselves. Not caring what others think about them and yet caring still all the same.
They call us hypocrites for doing the same things as them; no one gave us a rule book on how to fight, either. Not all of us can remain calm while under pressure, under attack and not knowing what to do. And, if you do not think that fair turnabout is fair, then why do you dish it out in the first place? No matter what we do, it’s wrong; no matter what they do, its right and if its not, then they dont care or so they claim. They know its harder for us to reason and rationalize it out, but they know its possible. Their lot is easy because they don’t have to do so, all they have to do is twist our reason back on us, misconstrue, focus on things that weren’t a part of it until they labeled it as such, construed it as such, twisted it as such. And, what is so wrong about certain things if the situation actually calls for it? Everything does exist for a reason, and they would rather not learn the reason, would rather push it forth in childish fashion; but after a certain point in life, the ways of such children must be left behind and departed from; much the same as they tried to make it seem like Good things and love were the things of children; that anyone who stood up for those things held only childish ideals.
They can fuck off.
Even though the sun was shining, it was a Cloudy day.
I find it funny that I stay sicker longer while I’m around other people and picking up their vibes and negativity and bullshit. While traveling, even while in bad weather, etc., I don’t stay sick as long, I get up, keep moving and get over it quickly. Society as it stands is killing us all faster, bit by bit. So many; too many; people literally thinking themselves and others around them to death. Second-hand thinking is far more dangerous than second-hand smoke or pollution.
#stillalive
So… some of the games I’m playing on a PSP Emulator I downloaded from the google playstore on the tablet I found on the side of the road:
God of War - The Ghost of Sparta
Final Fantasy IV Complete Collection
Breath of Fire III
Kingdom Hearts
Worms 2
Tales of the World
Persona 3 Portable
Riviera
Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core
Also Playing Final Fantasy Tactics - War of Lions, but have to restart due to hitting a point in the game I was unprepared for and can’t go resupply from or travel to other areas to level. Kind of sucks, but is what it is.
I also downloaded a fun little app for my tablet called Final Fantasy Record Keeper, which is pretty addictive.
I also found a meth pipe on the side of the road, which has become mine. Even had some left over in it, which helped my travel a bit. Caused me to lose a little travelers bible and my bag of tobacco where I sat down to smoke it at, but I had another travelers bible to begin using and tobacco is easy to come by. Have to be more careful not to leave stuff behind, lol. I do it even while not high. Accidentally left my tobacco pipe somewhere in California, my birth certificate somewhere in Oregon. Stupid shit like that.
Been reading a book slowly called The Crippled God, which has been pretty interesting so far. Slow to get going, kind of dry and jumping around so I’m taking it slow to make sure I understand what’s going on before the action picks up. That, and my new tablet allows me more hours of video game time, and when I Have a clear wifi signal, easy access to the internet without being at a public library, which I like because certain libraries won’t even let me use their wifi or have a guest pass for their comps without proof of residency in their county or having to pay a dollar. Like the one in Macon, Georgia (they misspelled ‘Bacon’). Seems like the more money a library has put into it, the less it wants people with backpacks that look like they’re homeless having free access to information and knowledge and education. Oh well.
Which means that, yes, I’ve had access to the internet and this website and have been choosing not to participate. Why? Because fuck you, that’s why.
So, are you drifting around then in the southern states? Hitch hiking?
hitch-hiking aggravates me. I just expect to walk to wherever I’m going and if someone picks me up, they pick me up. Some times I walk for days to weeks, other times I get 2-4 rides in one day. Drifting sounds about right. Obviously Florida didn’t work out. Bitch called me a stalker after letting me walk all the way there for her. I gave her multiple chances on Facebook while traveling to deter me, and she claimed to have told me to stop talking to her before, but that’s the kind of thing that sticks out for me, since I don’t want to be construed as a creeper. I cussed her out a bit for wasting my time and for being a cunt, and then blocked her for calling me a stalker. Was kind of unnecessary. There’s a very fine line in life between romance and creep-factor, hinged on the dynamic between pessimism and optimism. Oh well. I’m in North Carolina at the moment. Nice enough. Not too muggy, a little bit hot during the day, but cool enough at night and not as many mosquitoes, though the ants are beginning to get to me a little. No biggie.
Hopefully you have a durable pair of boots. Chasing love or lust? Anywhere near Wilmington, NC?
Yeah, camping outside without a tent or tarp can be extremely difficult and aggravating exposed to the elements. With insects especially. If you’re near an area with a lot of dragon flies that’s always nice as they eat mosquitoes.
I don’t chase. I walk calmly and leisurely. Also, neither love nor last are at the top of my list of priorities. Naw, in Gastonia, near Charlotte, nowhere near Wilmington.
Lust*, not ‘last’.
Back in Redding, CA. Caught a ride from tennessee to arizona, had sex with a man for the first time, stilol prefer women. Got a ticket in Arizona for walking along the interstate, ripped it up. Survived skid row in downtown LA again, found a roll of bills on the side of the road totaling 60 dollars which paid for new socks and shoes. Going to head back to WA soon, preferably in the spring, but realistically whenever I feel like it. Going to get some new clothes from the shelter I’m staying at and see what they can do to help me with an ID, try to get on foodstamps and then they also have a homeward bound program where they get you a reduced price on a bus ticket home if you have someone who can provide an address. I’ve walked a lot in the past year. Funny thing, ironic, I had a gun pulled on me in la and it wasn’t by a gangster, thug or drug dealer, but by anow upper middle class. I got dropped off outside of LA and had no choice but to walk through a community that I guess just had a string of bad luck, break ins, etc. And hey were a bit high strung. So, here I was with my army duffel bag on my back, just got done telling them my situation because they were on top of me walking through their neighborhood, and dude pulls a gun out like he’d seen too many movies.
If you’re so paranoid that you cut tell the difference between a criminal and a well-meaning and intentioned traveler, you’ve got worse problems than break ins.
It’s like the cop who gave me a ticket, did it just to be a dick. He knew I couldn’t pay it, I had told him I was homeless, he could have been kind and given me a ride or just told me to get off the interstate, but didn’t give a shit. Supposed to go to court in Arizona next month, but I’m going to make it hard on the greedy bastards. All it is is revenue generating shit for them that the taxpayers have to pay that then males them biased against the criminals and others in society, furthering what’s wrong in the world and I really don’t care to bow and scrape to that corrupt of a system.
I have a question Fred. If you encountered a meeting, and at the meeting were some of the people who were directly responsible for the world being the shit it is, for example, a Rockefeller or something, what would you do?
Depends. It’s hard for me to tell you what I would do in a hypothetical situation like that when I don’t know the sum of their life’s work and all I have to go off of is the information that’s been fed to me with no certainty of truth offered either from that or any questions I would ask. It would also depend on setting. Are we drinking and hanging out? Might not be a time to discuss business, though I might poke to see what they know of the universe, what thoughts theyvery entertained, who they are. I wouldn’t kill them or even fight them. They’re rich, I’m not, but if you expect me to blame them for what they had little control over, for things out of their hands, you’re wrong. I would treat them as people, stripped of titles and money and see them for that and if they didn’t do the same for me, treat me as they would anyone of merit, then what could I do other than walk away? I’m only violent and mean when under pressure, duress and having my buttons pressed, so anything I would do or say would be fully based on the situation as it unfolded.