You’d probably just be reborn into Earth anyways, so suicide is a stupid endeavour. Trust me I thought about this alot.
My mind sometimes forces me to remember bad times from my past by imagining them worse than they really were. Though I am now
more in control and have internal anger contained as much as possible. Being all alone and having no fear of death no doubt helps too
I disagree.
Id say being alone would increase the probability of these thoughts by 70 percent, its a well known fact that people can’t think in crowded areas or groups of friends.
Not true for me. I was definitely angrier when I was younger. Being alone means I have no one to get angry
with. And I am also more mentally balanced so anger no longer has a hold on me in the way that it used to
And I also have a less dogmatic worldview. Which means anger cannot control how I think any more either
I said 70 percent, that leaves a 30 percent window for you, no?
It’s like trying to pee.
But does good or great advice ever prevail? Who knows 
It only really prevails if it comes decorated like a present.
Then it’s a present 
darn straight 
A lot of nightmares recently… just bad times in general really… even have good dreams sometimes, ones I wish lasted forever… then I wake up and realize it was just a tease. I think those kind of dreams are the worst, just a flash of bliss or something that feels good only for a few real hours, though it feels like only a few minutes in your head… I wish sometimes I could stay asleep in those kind of dreams rather than them just being a tease, even if they aren’t physically real…
Arty,
Good to have you around. Today I have been particularly obnoxious, but what’s new? How’s your mind been?
Was worse than it is now, but still worse now than it was a long time ago, due to events I did not think would come, I knew but didn’t buy into the idea.
Cure is at hand, any one remember the band CURE? The eighties really were worse, a whole lot worse. In many ways. Everybody was crashing from HIV fears, and good vibrations ended up as the description of the what’s the matter boy, Rolling Stone cry, the last song: In my Room became the hymn of hymns of all shut in people , fear of going OUT, and some fixed their room real sweet and with a hint of class, of trash picked up in various garage sales. I was living in Dinkey Town, living with my mom, in high school.
Felt there is a cure in the absurd back then, my window overlooking a great red electric sign over the Chinese laundry, you could hear the chinamen in their native tongue, the hiss of the iron press, and the chatter of pigeons on the roof above me. The deep blue of the skyline was a luxurious escape, and during times of ennui when IT set in, then the bar around the corner, with occasional encounters with the new kid bard in town bob Dylan, …
But, in my room one fabulous oriental rug, a find, worth thousands, on a stroke of luck picked up at garage sale. This was affordable to divert mystery of to avert the evaporation of that, which gives credence to Being There.
What’s wrong with your room if you have one? Can you fix it up but if that don’t work can you fix up the furniture of the mind to suit your tastes? Unless you have a roommate cladhing with the decor, I wish you were there, a pink Floyd’s attempt to set it right.
Otherwise kiddo, watch out for that tractor a’commin a la Neil Cassidy. The summer in the city, has turned from the summer of love. But Turn, Turn, Turn.
My position on hard determinism has shifted… I now believe there might be a tad bit of free will, perhaps even stronger than a tad.
I presented my argument to why I did not think ‘free’ will existed, but only will… and I was presented with an argument that made sense, something I lacked vision to see clearly. I presented it to a friend.
In simple terms, my friend had said… “There is a difference between an obstacle and a restriction”… Which I had never thought of before, it is true… there is a difference. An obstacle may appear as a restriction, but you also have a choice on if you want to overcome it or not, a true restriction is something you get no choice of, something that actually binds you and you cannot really overcome… Most things in life you can overcome, even if they are temporary set backs, mere obstacles, the illusion of being restricted, feeling powerless and weak.
It is free will and the ripple effect of which cause so much problems for the world… people imposing their will upon others in a controlling sort of way, it has always been that way and maybe it always will be.
Why are they a “tease” to you? You might consider them to be a reprieve or a few drops of water in a purgatory.
Artimas
A “tad”? 
But you may be right.
I don’t know how you might define “will” but for me it would encompass strength, discipline, perseverance, self-control…
things which are necessary for following through and achieving “willing”.
As long as we can pretty much see and understand, after having examined them honestly, that our choices are coming from a reasonable and rational place and on what they are based, I think we can see them as being somewhat “free” if not totally free. After all, we are the sum total of many many things.
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I don’t know Artimas. Yes, if we have a sense of autonomy about us, we can overcome many obstacles…some of them are just in our heads. We see limitations where there might not be any. If we see differently, those limitations dissolve.
But even restrictions can be overcome. Some people might feel bound up by them but not others. Rosa Parks comes to me in the moment. African Americans were once “restricted” to here or there or from this or that. She refused to sit in the back of the bus where she was “supposed” to be. Sometimes we feel restricted by things because we don’t realize how unfair or insane these things are.
There are times when restrictions are placed on us which might actually be good for us, if we took the time to think ahead and examine where having no restrictions in a certain area might place us.
There are also times when we place restrictions on ourselves which just may be good or better for us.
Just thought I’d add that.
But let’s not forget the opposite side of that coin. There is one, you know.
Is it possible that those who impose their so-called free will on others do so because deep down they don’t really sense that they have it their selves.
Because the happiness felt in the dream(s) isn’t real.
The happiness felt in dreams is as real as any other happiness.
How’s that, when a dream is only a subconscious outlook where near anything can happen?